Have you been making your way through the Day of Genius workbook? If you haven’t already downloaded parts 1, 2 and 3, go do that now.

Then come on back, because I have another one for you!

It has tickled me no end that the worksheets have been downloaded hundreds of times over the past few days (special thanks to Susannah Conway for including a link to the Life Balance Compass in this post.)

(And yet nary a comment on the posts with the most-downloaded worksheets — funny, no?)

Still, if the download numbers count for anything, apparently a lot of you are finding them useful — hooray!

To recap…

I’m co-producing a day-long virtual retreat, the Day of Genius on January 8, for which I’ll be presenting a seminar called Your Map to Happiness in 2012.

Being a Creative, who likes to make colorful messes and get her hands dirty, I’ve designed the seminar as a little bubble of creative time: we’ll get out the crayons, scissors and glue stick, and make a vision map — a colorful, intuitive kindergarten map of your dreams and visions and plans for 2012, to inspire you throughout the year.

But making a truly effective vision map requires a fair amount of advance work.

Who are you? What do you really want? What is the next step to getting there? What’s in your way?

Sometimes the real answers are not what we might see on the surface…

Hence the workbook, which I created for Day of Genius ticket-holders and decided to also share with you, my blog readers, as what my mom would call a “just ’cause I love you present.” :)

Stay open to epiphanies

Creating these worksheets — and working through them myself — has been part of my 2011 Annual Review (thanks to Chris Guillebeau for a large dose of Annual Review inspiration!)

As you play with the worksheets, stay open to insights, revelations and epiphanies.

Earlier this week, for example, I had the realization that, hey, I loveloveLOVE to teach — particularly in-person classes — and yet I haven’t taught an in-person class in a year!

The Mind Map to Happiness worksheet, along with today’s worksheet — Your Love & Time Inventory — helped remind me of my passion for teaching groups face-to-face, and ask myself what’s stopping me from doing it?

The answer: Mostly physical space. I can teach calligraphy around my dining room table (and have done many times), but what I most want to be teaching right now requires a lot more space. Space to move around, space to paint broad strokes and make big, colorful messes.

The worksheet helped me pinpoint tiny first steps I can take toward bringing teaching back into my life the way I most want it: I’ve started letting my friends, family and acquaintances know that I’m in search of the ideal workshop space, and and I’ve started identifying organizations to contact to see if they either rent space themselves, or know of someplace that does.

I’ve even opened up to the possibility of renting permanent space, something that seemed so impossible as to be ridiculous just last week. But which now feels almost obviously inevitable.

Perhaps not in 2012… but who knows?

These are the ways that big dreams and goals come to fruition: one tiny step at a time.

(Meanwhile, I’ve already got an in-person retreat on the calendar for next fall, one where we’ll get to move around and make big, colorful messes, but someone else is arranging that space, and it’s faaaaaaaar away, way too far for even the most die-hard commuter… But more on that another time…)

Your turn

Download Your Love & Time Inventory, print it out and spend 10 or 15 minutes with it. Then hop on over to the LACL Facebook page and share what you figured out!

Have fun!

REMINDER: You could win a ticket to the Day of Genius! Head over to Facebook and share your insights to any of the blog posts here that reference the Day of Genius, along with your reasons for wanting to attend, AND share and/or tweet the post, and you’ll be entered to win a full-day pass.

After the New Year, I and my panel of partial judges will pick one winner from among the commenters to join us for free. (Yes, commenting on/sharing of multiple posts will weigh heavily in your favor — we’re looking to add participants who really want to be there, so quality AND quantity will be taken into consideration.)

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

I’ve got my troubles, which I won’t bore you by listing out here, but the fact is they’re mostly troubles of privilege. “First-world problems.”

The fact is, I grew up in a middle-class family, in a privileged neighborhood, in a rich country.

The fact is, I was born to parents who valued education (and love) above all else, and though sexism was (and is) still rife (no matter what the media might have led you to believe), my mom and dad did their best to offer me a future filled with opportunity.

The fact is, I grew up with music in the schools, and after-school art classes, and moms who volunteered to bring creative writing into the classroom (god bless them!)

The fact is, I faced challenges and oppressions, to be sure (you did too, no matter who you are, or what the media might have led you to believe), but in the scheme of things, I had it damn good.

I still do.

I have the luxury of thinking about problems like what do I really, really want out of life? And how do I get past the resistance to follow my Blisses and do my creative things? And how can I best help other creatives follow their own Blisses?

And I’m incredibly grateful.

I’ve had opportunities that Addis, forced into marriage at age 11 never had:

I’ve had the chance to follow my dreams, unlike Kidan:

The Girl Effect

It turns out that girls are the key to getting entire communities out of poverty. Here’s how (have some tissues handy – I cry every time I watch this!):

Want a concrete, real-life, flesh-and-blood example of what happens when girls are educated? Here’s what Shumi created, thanks to the Girl Effect:

This is how the Girl Effect played out for Sanchita and her family:

What can I do, you ask?

Share this blog post. Share the blog posts here. Join the conversation. Write your own blog post about the Girl Effect and post it here.

Spread the word. Wear it on your sleeve (or on your computer, or in your office). Donate if you can.

The Girl Effect is a viral movement. Many tiny movements, in fact. It depends on you. And me. And all of us.

From the Girl Effect website:

Through the movement, many organizations have received the funding needed to make a huge impact in the lives of girls in developing countries. For example, the Berhane Hewan program in rural Ethiopia opened community dialogue and used incentives like school supplies to help over 11,000 girls delay marriage and stay in school. The Binti Pamoja program in Kenya is another example, offering a safe space for girls to connect with other girls and learn about reproductive health, finances and other basic life skills – through funding, the program has grown from 40 girls to over 1,000.

Let’s keep it going.

Tell me, what will you do to help the Girl Effect?

PS – If you liked this post, please tweet, share, like and/or send it to a friend you think might like it too.

What ripples are you creating?

Did you ever see the movie Pay it Forward? Or read Catherine Ryan Hyde’s novel?

Every day, you pay it forward, without even realizing it. Not necessarily with money or physical things, but that doesn’t mean you’re not making an impact.

So what kind of impact do you want to make?

Favorite negative emotions, you ask? What the- ?

Yep, it’s true. Call them Emotions I Hate to Love, if you like. There are a few of them that I’ve learned are very, very useful, once you get past the icky-feeling part.

Envy’s one of my all-time faves! (Okay, okay, just a slight note of sarcasm there. As a 4 on the Enneagram, envy’s a core issue for me. Funsville!)

But seriously, watch the video to find out what’s to like about Envy. Then let me know in the comments what you’ve learned yourself from that green-eyed beast.

I’m a slasher. I freely admit it, and it’s something I’m not likely to change.

No, not the kind of slasher featured in horror movies. (Duh.) The kind that makes frequent use of the / key when describing what I do.

As in, “I’m an artist/writer/singer/songwriter/creativity coach/teacher/etc. etc. etc.”

Recently such use of the slash has been the subject of hot debate in a corner of the blogosphere. It started with this post by Mars Dorian, which begins:

Hello fellow digital crusader !

There’s one thing that’s bothering me lately, and I see it EVERYWHERE nowadays. I see it on Facebook accounts, Twitter profiles and about pages. I see it in email signatures and tweets. It’s making me want to vomit in my mouth, and it’s keeping YOU away from success.

What ?

It’s a terrible description that more and more people give themselves.

It goes like this:

I’m a writer / entrepreneur / traveler / consultant / designer and blogger.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaang.

That’s the sound of shooting yourself in the foot.

 

You know what this tells me ? That YOU suck at each and everyone of them !

The Glove is Thrown Down

Baker Lawley of Catfish Parade responded with this post, in which he admitted to almost changing his slasher description of himself after he read Mars’ post. Instead, he ended up championing the cause of slashers everywhere (and mentioning me in the company of several other online slashers I admire – thanks Baker! – which is how I discovered this whole debate in the first place).

Emilie Wapnick, another waver of the multipotentialite flag (her word – ain’t it great?), leaped into the fray with her post SLASHERS UNITE! over at Puttylike.

The conversation happening in the comments on these three blogs kept me up waaaaaay too late late night, and I figured an “official” response was in order. So here it is.

One Title or Many?

If you spend the time to read the comments on these other blogs (recommended – interesting stuff there), you’ll find that Mars claims that’s he’s not actually saying that people cannot be good at multiple things (though it’s understandable why anyone would come to that conclusion, given his rather bold opening statement.)

What he is saying (or at least what I understand of what he’s saying) is that breaking your career identity into a series of slashes is shooting yourself in the foot. In other words, if you want to have impact, if you want to leave a legacy, it’s much better to combine all those slashes under a single umbrella.

This is debatable in itself, and Emilie shares some good counter arguments in Mars’ comment stream. But let’s stop there for a moment to ponder.

Finding the Umbrella

Integrating my various identities into one whole is, in fact, precisely what I’ve been trying to do in the past year of blogging about my journey to follow my evolving Blisses and (re-)create the life I really, really want. How to combine all of my gifts under one title? I was honestly tired of the split identity that all these slashes implied, and have put a lot of thought into how to integrate them all.

I tried on Renaissance Woman for awhile.

Then Multi-Passionate Creative ARTrepreneur.

The problem with this approach, though, is that it doesn’t give a clue as to what I actually do.

Finding the Handle

Categories, labels, niches drive multi-passionates crazy, but the truth is that human beings also seem to have an innate need for them. And as Michael Martine of Remarkablogger pointed out in a comment on Mars’ blog, the systems humans have created to find what we need – from the phone books and card catalogues of days past to search engines and Wikipedia of today – are not friendly to anything that doesn’t fit into a category we already understand:

The thing is not to pick one thing as you ["you" being Mars] suggest, but to put more thought into the overall theme of all that you do and describe it better.

I don’t need to say I’m a copywriter/blogger/designer/SEO/marketer/strategist. I say I’m a Blog Consultant, which seems like one thing but isn’t. If you think about it, you’ll see how I just solved a marketing/branding/SEO problem all in one stroke. Google “blog consulting” and you’ll see.

Clients need a “handle” by which to understand you and their own problems. It’s a naming problem. In no way does it mean what you suggest: that we abandon other disciplines which we may in fact be better at than most people. That is astonishingly mistaken, in my opinion.

However, it’s somewhat understandable. People who should only focus on one thing often fail to understand that multipotentialites or polymaths (pick your term) excel at multiple disciplines to the extent most people can only excel at one.

I think you would have been better off bringing this idea up as a question rather than as a polemic.

Amen, Michael.

But that still leaves someone like me a bit out in the cold. Is anyone out there using Google so search for “Renaissance Woman” or “Creative ARTrepreneur” (or even “Creative Entrepreneur”)? Um, yeah.

Which points to the need to describe what you do in terms of how, exactly, you help people. A naming problem, as Michael puts it.

Still Solving My Naming Problem

Let me now take a brief detour to mention that I’ve never been fully satisfied with Multi-Passionate Creative ARTrepreneur for precisely this reason, and have been hunting around for a more descriptive title. A “handle” by which clients can understand me and their own problems.

Catherine Caine pointed out in our session the other day that the theme underlying everything I do is Creative Abundance. But how to express the various things I actually do atop that foundation? Among other things, I:

• create art to inspire – ie, I’m an artist. (And a calligrapher. Or artist/calligrapher, which leads to its own philosophical naming issue, implying, as it does, that calligraphers are not artists. But we won’t go down that road in this particular post…)
• inspire others to live their own creative lives – ie, I’m a coach…? (Or guide. Again, I seem incapable of limiting myself to a single word. Plus I do this not just through coaching, but also through writing, and through the art that I create.)
• mentor and empower creative types to share their gifts with the world – ie, I’m a.. what? a coach again? a mentor? a guide? a marketing teacher?

How in heaven’s name does one encapsulate all of this into a single title?

I kind of like Creative Abundance Goddess and Guide, but it still leaves me with an SEO problem, and no clear “handle” by which clients can understand me. The truth is, a slasher title – something like Artist/Writer/Coach/Creative Living Consultant, say – while less entertaining, would probably work better for SEO.

So what’s the answer?

I don’t have one. Though I’m thankful to Mars and Baker and Emilie for initiating the debate (and Michael and a whole bunch of others for contributing) because it got me thinking about it.

It seems to me that there’s a place for all of this. There’s a definite trend online toward setting yourself apart with a unique, even grandiose title:

Tara Gentile of ScoutieGirl is a philosopher of creative living and DIY culture & lifestyle design expert. Leonie Allan of the Goddess Guidebook is a Goddess. Laura Hollick of Soul Art Studio is an Artist & Shaman. Alexia Petrakos is an Expedition Leader for Creative Explorers. Caleb Wojcik of Pocket Changed is a World Changer.

I could go on.

Personally, I think these grandiose titles are fun! They give you a sense of the bearer’s personality, even if they don’t necessarily give you a clear sense of what they actually mean.

But it would seem to me a wise move to also break that title down in a way that people can more clearly understand what you’re about.

The funny thing is, even if you do your best to avoid all slashing, I suspect there’s no way you’re going to stop other people from slashing you. With all these crazy-ass titles, I can see scenes such as this becoming commonplace:

Person A: “Melissa Dinwiddie? Who’s she?”

Person B: “Oh, you know, that Artist/Writer/Coach/Creative Living Consultant over at Living A Creative Life.”

‘Nuff said.

–

What do you think? Do you think slashing is shooting yourself in the foot? Do you think it means you suck at everything you do? Or are you an unrepentant slasher? Perhaps with a crazy-ass grandiose title as well? Share your reactions in the comments below.

If you enjoyed this post and would like to receive more right in your inbox, subscribe to my email updates.

Please share this post across the web so we can inspire even more creative thinking – and creative living. Feel free to Tweet it, Like it, Stumble it, or Forward it to anybody who might like to join in the conversation. Thanks!

One of my recent consulting clients, the phenomenally talented Shenee of Eight Thirty Five, invited me to be a stop on her story tour. Enjoy, then be sure to click through to the rest of the tour stops.

The other day I read yet another story of yet another blogger whose blog struck a chord, took off and earned her a handsome full-time income in under a year.

In a flash, I felt the jaws of the Comparison Trap start to close around my psyche once again.

Doubts

Why hadn’t I managed to make such a success out of my online efforts? What was wrong with me? Was I simply a failure, destined to spend my life working at building an internet empire that never quite makes it?  Should I throw in the towel and just give up altogether?

I recognized this feeling. Something about this was familiar…

Then it hit me that I’d felt this way not so long ago, back when I was single and looking, on the quest to find a life partner.

Persistence

While other single women I knew found “The One” on their first or second internet date, I persevered for years, through dozens of dates (57 in one 2 1/2 year period alone).

There were times when I wondered if I’d still be single and looking in my 80s.

How I envied those other women! It seemed to come so easily for them. Where was my special guy?

It may not be love at first sight, but it’s my story and I’m sticking with it

From my present time perspective, I understand that my story is just different. No less romantic (in fact, I would argue even more so, though I’ll admit I’m a little biased). No less special, just different.

Where others have stories of love at first sight, my story is of persistence and patience, of a slow boil, of taking the time to really get to know myself and to discover that the person I’d never seen as a “contender” was, in fact, the best of the bunch.

Instead of love at first sight, my story is of gradually wandering into love.

Perhaps, I realized, the story of my business isn’t a story of failure, but of gradual evolution, just like the story of my relationship. It seems I’m not one of the blessed destined for overnight success, but that’s not the only valid route.

One more story of persistence

Stories are powerful. Stories can offer hope, a vision of possibility. The simple act of retelling myself my story of slow success in my dating life shored me up for the path ahead in my business life.

As I write this, it’s Theodor Geisel’s birthday. You know Theodor Geisel? He’s better known as much-loved children’s book author Dr. Seuss.

How’s this for a story of persistence: Dr. Seuss’s first children’s book was rejected by at least 27 publishers. Geisel almost burned the manuscript after so many rejections, but it finally did get published, and sold 6 million copies.

Stories of success come with lots of different plot lines. Pick the ones that work for you.

[Hint: there's a surprise gifty thingy at the bottom of the box. Kinda like Cracker Jack, but without the calories.]

What do I want more than anything? To make a positive impact on other people by doing what I love, and to sustain myself in the process.

To change the world for the better, while at the same time feeding myself, emotionally and financially.

To be my fully-creative self and help others be their fully-creative selves, and make a living from it.

I’m definitely on the path, but I haven’t hit my stride yet.

My Newest Teacher

When you’re on the path, the Universe lets you know by sending the right teachers your way.

I met one of my teachers earlier today when I had a Skype interview for the Thriving Artists Project with the wonderful Goddess Leonie. I’d seen Leonie’s website a few weeks back, and immediately flagged it as one of my daily Genius Resources on 365 Days of Genius, so it was a delightful surprise when she contacted me, expressing great enthusiasm for what I was doing with TAP, and offering to be an interview guest.

My ex-boyfriend used to say “always interpret omens favorably,” and I took Leonie’s email as a definite message from the Universe that I was on the right path!

Not that this was the kind of omen that could be interpreted any other way. Leonie is modeling exactly the kind of life I’m in the process of creating for myself. (As soon as my self-imposed moratorium on buying new digital courses and e-books is lifted, I’m signing up for her Goddess Circle membership (affiliate link), which is filled with over $600 of goodies for the amazingly low price of $99 for a year. In fact, I may just make an exception to my moratorium…)

Teachers are everywhere

Leonie is actually just one in a long line of recent teachers. Every single interview I’ve done lately (or ever?) for the Thriving Artists Project has brought me rich gifts that I was right then needing to receive.

With artist Michele Théberge, I was reminded that it only takes 15 minutes a day to stay connected to your creative flow. I needed to hear this, and was ready to hear it right then. I’ve made art every day this month, which makes me profoundly happy.

With illustrator and syndicated cartoonist Carlos Castellanos, I was reminded that you should charge most for that which comes easiest to you. I needed to hear this, and was ready to hear it right then. I’m still integrating this one, but am becoming more and more aware of the many areas where I bring real value.

And with Goddess Leonie, I was reminded that on the one hand, making money from my gifts is so much more helpful for me and other people than giving it all away. And on the other hand, the best way to get my gifts out there is to use them to help people, to gift people with a journey. AND I was reminded that my art can be more than pieces I sell to hang on walls or put on shelves; it can be an integral part of what I put out into the world: on my blog, in my e-books and e-courses and anywhere else I share myself. Duh. Apparently I needed to hear this, and was ready to hear it today.

An exchange of energy

On her blog, Leonie tells a story of how she used to give her art away. Not as gifts to loved ones, given out of delight and generosity, but to anyone who asked, out of fear and avoidance of the hard act of putting a monetary value on her art.

Her teacher arrived in the form of a wise, older woman, who said:

You must charge for your art. In everything – everything – there needs to be an exchange of energy. An equal one. One that fills me up. One that fills you up. If I give you a massage that nourishes and sustains and relaxes you, I ask you for money to nourish and sustain my life too. We must both be involved in the exchange, otherwise it is one sided. We must both be invested, so we both receive value. If I do not allow you to pay money for my service, I do a disservice to myself, but also to you. You must contribute too, in order to be fulfilled. You will value the things you pay for more. And my life will be better because I have helped your life be better. And your life will be better, because you have helped my life be better too. Everything – everything – must be an equal exchange of energy. It is sacred. Money is the manifestation of energy. Money is sacred too.

This is something so many of us struggle with! Johnny B. Truant and Pace Smith even made a course about it – Profitable Idealism (affiliate link – doors closing at midnight tonight, so you only have a few hours to get in, but if you’re wanting to change the world, OR if you’re wanting to make money, this could be a great match for you, and I highly recommend you check it out).

An unsummary-ish summing-up, and a special gifty thingy

I don’t have a neat and tidy bow to wrap this post up with. Just to say that my chat with Leonie today made me rethink a lot of what I’ve been doing. I’m not sure how it’s all going to shake out, but as usual, I’ll share it with you here.

In the meantime, one thing I’ve been wanting to do for awhile now is to validate for myself the ways in which I can be directly helpful, right now. To that end, I’ll be offering a limited number of f.r.ee half-hour consulting/visioning/coaching sessions periodically over the coming weeks, starting now.

The first eight people who tungle me by clicking this link will get 30 minutes of my focused attention to work on whatever you want:

• Creative Consulting, to help you figure out some specific goals and how best to go after them
• “Master the Internet” technology mentoring
• a “Whip Your Website into Shape” critique

Heck, I’ll even read your aura if you want (seriously – I’m not even kidding about that!) All up to you.

What’s the catch?

There isn’t one. I just want to get to know my followers and do my best to help you. Period.

Again, click here to get to my Tungle Me calendar and set up your 30-minute session. First come, first served. (But if you don’t get into this group, you’ll have another opportunity down the road. Promise.)

That’s it for today. Now it’s time to get my art on. Catch you later!

So how’m I doing in my quest to re-invent my life, follow my evolving Blisses and create the life I really, really want?

Perhaps it’s the fact that I’m approaching a year since starting this blog – a year in which other people seem to have achieved the kind of success that still eludes me (damn you, Comparison Trap!) – that led to Friday-and-Saturday’s surprising feeling of sunkness.

Perhaps it was the migraine, that hooked its claws into me Friday afternoon and was still clinging when I woke up.

Perhaps it’s missing my sweetie, who’s out of town this weekend.

Perhaps it’s the frustration that my right leg is still deformed and frustratingly atrophied, 3 months post-knee-surgery.

Perhaps it was all of those things, combined with general overwork and under-rest.

Whatever it was, it caught me off guard. I’ve never been a flatliner, but so many lovely things have happened this week! How could I be anything but happy and cheerful?

Sweetness this week:

• The nicest fan letter ever arrived in my inbox on Monday (I challenge anyone to write a nicer one!):

Melissa Dinwiddie, I love you. Not in a sappy, soppy, sloppy kind of way, but in a girl crush kind of way; in an “I-so-want-to-be-like-her” way. Your voice, when you write, is so authentic, that I hear your lyrical voice…as a matter of fact, you’re across the table from me taking about life and love and your success and impatience over coffee and and some amazing cookies that I just baked with milk chocolate chips, toffee bits and cashews with a sprinkle of ground french roast coffee (and a touch of cayenne just to brighten the taste).

You don’t know it, but we have conversations together at times like these. I share my empathy, my stories and give you my encouragement.

By the way, my cats believe that I’m talking to them, but they are narcissistic beasts. They have no idea that I’m talking with you.

Just thought you should know on this Valentine’s day that you have a girl crush.

Sandi

(Thanks Sandi! Still buzzing on that one. :))

• My Uke Diva gig at the JCC senior lunch on Tuesday brought raves and accolades. 87-year-old Joyce insisted that what I need is an agent, who would surely get me the fame and fortune I deserve in Hollywood. While 84-year-old Sam declared:

I have one word for you… no, [counting fingers] three words for you: You. Are. Good. And I’m a litmus test. I’ve been around 84 years, I’ve seen more performances than you can imagine. I can tell good when I see it, and you’re it!

• Thursday I got further confirmation of my appeal as a performer when the music booker for Hog Island Oyster Bar in Napa emailed to see if I’d be interested in playing a couple of (paid) gigs on their outdoor patio this summer. (Mark your calendars for July 31 and September 11!) She said:

I came across your video “Uke” and I LOVE your style.

All very sweet, and made me feel very good, indeed. Nonetheless, despite all this validation, Friday and Saturday saw me feeling blue. Proof that the “happiness” that external validation offers is fleeting.

The Antidote to Blue

So what does a girl do, when the blues descend? Well, first of all, a smart girl reminds herself of this undisputed reality:

All feelings are transitory.

Next, she reminds herself of another undisputed reality:

Nothing good ever comes from comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides.

Yes, my path might seem overly long and winding, but it is what it is. I know getting caught in the Comparison Trap is just that – a trap.

And then she does the one thing guaranteed to lift the spirit:

She takes action.

For a Creative, that means getting into the Creative Sandbox.

Which is exactly what I did. Deadlines be damned – the blues call for taking critical measures. Now.

So I played

And since I’m still waiting for the delivery of my 200+ mini canvases, I turned to my more comfortable substrate, watercolor paper, and my old friend, walnut ink.

Here’s what came out of my playtime (shown here close to actual size):

2 3/4″ x 5″ walnut ink with ruling pen & brush, Pigma micron, water with steel nib, watercolor pencil

2 3/4″ x 7 1/4″ walnut ink, sumi ink with ruling pen and modified crowquill

3″ x 4″ walnut ink with ruling pen, watercolor, modified crowquill nib

And although I didn’t actually mat these, I matted them digitally, in Photoshop. See the image at the top of this post, and these two:

New toys!

Meanwhile, my order with Daniel Smith arrived, bringing ten new 4″ x 6″ x 1.5″ canvases and – most exciting! – a jar of watercolor ground!

Which I painted on a few canvases on Friday night, to allow the required 24 hours of curing.

And then didn’t let the full 24 hours to go by before pulling out my watercolors. (Patience? Feh!)

At a loss for what else to do, I reverted to the calligrapher’s standby, the alphabet. In my signature hand, Neuland.

Watch for these to evolve in the coming days…

And now?

Well, I’m still wishing my debt were down to zero and my internet empire fully grown and thriving. But I must admit I’m feeling a helluva lot better.

When in doubt, create.

Saturday Night Epilogue: Serendipity & Progress

While doing my prescribed knee rehab exercises and stretching late last night, a row of old journals on the bottom shelf of the glass doored bookcase in the living room (being at eye level as I stretched) caught my eye. Hmmm (thought I), I wonder what I was thinking and writing about back then?

From among the mostly identical, 8 1/2 x 11 hard cover sketchbooks, I pulled out the Morning Pages Journal (affiliate link). My thoughts traveled backwards to that year, in the middle of my marriage, the house I lived in, the small bedroom crammed with my drafting table and supplies.

December 1996. Six months after my first calligraphy conference. Just two years into this new Bliss of letter love. The amazing response to my work by respected authorities at the conference that summer. The sudden expectations I felt to be amazing, to fulfill my potential.

And the resulting block that descended.

Julia Cameron’s The Artists Way (affiliate link) had a profound effect on me, helped me bust through some of that block.

No wonder I splurged on the matching journal. It honored the importance of that book in my life.

Back in present time

(Or shall we say, much more recent past time.) As I stretched out my atrophied quads on the living room carpet, I skimmed over the first couple of journal entries. The repeating theme: my wish to be prolific.

To make work for me, not just for clients (already, just two years in and in a marriage that paid all my bills for me, I was allowing client work to intrude on my relationship to my Bliss.)

How I wish I could go back and tell that younger self that the secret is just to do it. Every day. In 15 minute chunks.

It only took me 14 years to figure this out. (Yes, that’s a note of sarcasm you detect.)

Ah, well. Could’ve been worse.

Progress.

]]> http://melissadinwiddie.com/2011/02/20/weekly-review-46-antidote-feeling-sunk/feed/ 4 http://melissadinwiddie.com/2011/02/14/gradually-wandering-into-love/ http://melissadinwiddie.com/2011/02/14/gradually-wandering-into-love/#comments Mon, 14 Feb 2011 11:00:24 +0000 Melissa Dinwiddie http://melissadinwiddie.com/?p=4860

Today’s post is my contribution to the Love Sparks Blogging Festival, started by Jasmine Lamb. All across the blogosphere, participants are posting blogs about love, in response to Jasmine’s request.

I’m staying close to home on this one, sharing something rather personal. Something I’m a little shy about revealing. But it’s what’s been on my mind, and what popped into my head when I got Jasmine’s invitation, so it’s what I’m sharing today. Hope you enjoy it.

I’ve never been big on Valentine’s Day.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s a brilliant ploy by the flower, card and candy industries rather than any truly meaningful moment in annual time.

This year, though, is a little different.

One year ago I had just been unceremoniously dumped, 2 days before Valentine’s Day, in what felt like a particularly shocking betrayal.

Little did I know it at the time, but my ex’s departure would clear the way for the entry, on Valentine’s Day itself, of new love into my life.

Though it took me almost a year to figure that out.

Because love, I’ve discovered, is not that weak-in-the-knees, sweaty palms, dry mouth, can-barely-speak-because-you’re-so-nervous-to-be-around-them feeling.

Nor is it that surely-we-knew-each-other-in-a-past-life feeling.

Or the oh-my-god-that-was-so-amazing-I-feel-like-I-just-touched-the-face-of-the-divine feeling.

Or the surely-I-will-die-without-you feeling.

I submit, in fact, that the feeling of being madly in love is actually a form of mental illness. May I point out to you that the phrase is, after all, “madly in love.” Witness, too, the term “crazy about you.”

Nonetheless, yes, I’ve experienced all of the above feelings, and they’re wonderful. I freely confess that I love being in love.

But as your mom may have told you, being in love is not the same as truly loving or as being truly loved.

Here’s a secret: every person I’ve ever fallen madly in love with has not, in the end, been a good match for me.

This is contrary to everything I ever learned about love, from fairy tales, from movies, from books and poetry and art. Even from my parents’ 50+ year marriage. (The lucky [expletive deleted]‘s met when they were 19, fell in love, and are still happy to be with each other.)

Though falling is the more quoted mode of entry, I’ve discovered that it’s quite possible to gradually wander into love.

(Which makes me wonder how many people I might have wandered into love with, had I only given them more time.)

I’ve learned from experience that regardless of what other kinds of love you’re swimming in – infinite variations of filial, friendly, brotherly, spiritual, erotic, romantic, etc. etc. (English has a sad dearth of words to describe the vast number of types of love) – the being in love feeling is transitory. Often when it starts off strongest, it goes away fastest.

But sometimes it also comes back.

(Which makes figuring out when to end a relationship challenging indeed.)

Thankfully, the wisdom of experience whispered in my ear that if the being in love feeling can come back after leaving, perhaps it can show up where it had never been before…

Give someone enough time to show you who they really are, and you might be surprised at how your heart swells and opens.

A good match, it turns out, may have less to do with how crazy-wild-with-love you feel, than with how your life goes when the person in question is in it.

(Single people, take note.)

On Valentine’s Day one year ago I grieved the loss of an untrustworthy love, one that spoke a good line, but was perched on flimsy values. Rotten roots that disintegrated at the first sign of challenge.

Today I celebrate a steadfast love. One that kept coming back rather than running away. One that not only doesn’t flinch at challenges, but in every way possible makes my life go better.

I wish the same for everyone this Valentine’s Day.

Which is now – rather ironically, given my scorn for the holiday – my anniversary day.

Here’s to hearts and roses.

Not many words in type today (search engines will shun me). I’m tired, and it’s time for a nap.

Watch the vid for the words. (Plus bug-eyes, and me in a fuzzy green Hobbit hood.)