What’s the #1 thing that gets in your way?

It keeps you from living the fully creative life of your dreams.

It gets between you and the happiness you desire, between you and joy, between you and contentment.

It stops you from doing what you love.

It keeps you stuck, convinces you you’re not good enough, prevents you from dreaming big, setting big goals and going after them — holds you back from playing big in your life and in the world.

It’s not time. Or money. Or your job. Or your boss. Or your family and friends (or enemies for that matter).

The #1 thing that gets in your way is something you actually have control over (though it often feels like you don’t).

Have you guessed it?

It’s your mindset.

With the right mindset, you can achieve anything.

Mindset is key to answering the call in your heart, and…

…to getting past fear and uncertainty

…to overcoming perfectionism

…to taming the gremlin voices that hold you back

…to living the truly creative life you long for

But how do you get into the mindset to do all this?

I won’t lie to you, it takes some work — inner work.

And it can also take time. In my case, it has taken years — a lifetime — to really live the creative life of my dreams.

But it doesn’t have to take that long!

When I was ready and willing to make the shifts, they came extremely quickly — quite literally overnight, or even faster. (It was the build-up to being ready and willing that took so long…)

3 Essential Ingredients

I’ve learned from experience that where there is willingness and readiness, there are 3 very specific ingredients that together work like a pressure cooker to bring about the internal transformations that result in profound mindset shifts, AND the necessary actions that bring about life change.

Those 3 ingredients are:

1) An inspiring role model (or more than one)

Knowing even just one person who has walked the path before you can give you a vision of possibility for yourself.

2) A supportive community

Other people who “get you,” who are walking side-by-side with you on the same journey, who can act as sounding boards, who show you that you’re not alone, and cheer you on.

3) An effective toolkit

Psychology, neuroscience, the field of coaching and the world’s spiritual traditions have each spawned powerful tools (many of which overlap) which can not only help you shift your mindset, but can leverage it to turbocharge your willpower (not to mention your “won’t power” and “want power”!) to create what you want in your life.

When I look back at the moments in my life when I’ve made the most profound transformations, those three ingredients have always been in place. I’m an introspective sort, so I’ve sought out these kinds of experiences throughout my life, and I’ve been fortunate to have many amazing teachers over the years.

Now I’m ready to bring together everything I’ve learned about creative ignition and pay it forward.

This is my best stuff — the work that I know I was put on the planet to do.

If you’re a woman, and you’re ready for a program that will incubate the kind of mindset shift you need to really live the creative life of your dreams, stay tuned for all the details. (And sign up on the list below for first dibs and early bird pricing.)

It’s time to glow, baby!

Have you ever experienced a mindset shift that got YOU to the next level? What were the ingredients that led to that shift for you?

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

Hey! Hello! Sign up here!

Update 5/1/12: Click here for details and early bird info.

Sign up here for advance notice & early bird pricing, and I’ll also send you info for how to attend a free Q&A call next month…

Do you ever wish you could go back and make those painful teenage years better?

Do you ever wish you could make someone else’s painful teenage years better right now? 

Mara Glatzel of Medicinal Marzipan has taken that wish and turned it into a campaign of creativity, inviting bloggers all over the blogosphere to speak out about their experiences with body image, sexuality, and self-esteem during their teen years. This post is my contribution.

Wanna join in? Please do! Click here or on the banner above for all the details on how to get involved.

—

Dear Teenage Me,

I know you can’t even imagine being 25, let alone 45, but I’m writing to let you know that you made it. Weird, I know — how can anyone possibly be that old? But it’s true. And life is much, much better, richer and more wonderful than you would ever believe.

They say life begins at 40, and for us, that’s not far from the truth.

But don’t worry — there was lots of wonderful stuff in all the years before 40, too. It’s just that there was also so much hard.

And so much of the hard just pains me to see you feeling right now, as I watch you from the future. Since I used to be a teenager myself (in fact, I was YOU — doh!), I know how critically important it feels to fit in, to be cool, and most of all, to be beautiful. And thin.

I know that somewhere, underneath all the programming from your steady diet of Seventeen Magazine and MTV, not to mention every fairy tale you ever imbibed with mother’s milk — underneath all that, you really do know that a woman’s appearance is NOT the true determinant of her worth.

And yet.

I see the nights when you sneak out into the bathroom to surreptitiously vomit up the meal you binged on a few hours earlier. I see the days when you can’t concentrate in English class, because the eraser keeps looking like a Hershey bar, and you’re revising your daily 600-calorie menu over and over in your head. I see you leafing through the pages of the latest issue of Seventeen or Madamoiselle or Glamour, tears dripping down your cheeks because you’ll never look like those girls, and it makes you feel like your worth is less than zero.

I see it, and it rips my heart out. And I wonder: what would you — what would WE — have been able to create with that vast intelligence and creative mind of ours, if you could pull even just a fraction of your attention out of that beauty imperative?

All that attention, all that focus, all that desperate energy — what might you have done with it, if you hadn’t been staring hatefully in the mirror, memorizing calorie charts and kneeling over the toilet?

What art might you have created? How might you have made a difference for someone else?

I don’t know if anything an adult could say to you would make a difference — even if that adult IS you. But what I’d like to remind you of is this:

At last count, very, very few of the people both Adult Me and Teenage You most admire, love and want to be around are, or ever were, supermodels.

In fact, at last count, the grand total was… zero.

Darling, sweetheart, wonderfulness, let me just remind you that the people you most admire, love, and want to be around come in all shapes and sizes, and you still admire, love and want to be around them.

Knowing that, could we open just the tiniest hint of a possibility that perhaps, just perhaps, regardless of your own shape and size, you might be worthy of the same love and admiration?

Just think about it, ‘k? Because great things are coming from you, and nothing — nothing — should get in the way of that. Least of all bullshit programming that tells you you’re anything less than absolutely wonderful and worthy.

Because you are. Wonderful and worthy. Please remember that.

Love,
Your Future Self

Announcement Time! Announcing my Free Living A Creative Life Monthly Hangouts!

One thing my teenage self really could have used was a regular hangout with other creative types. A safe space where who you are is more important than what size 501s you wear. Where big-hearted creatives gather to connect, inspire, encourage, learn from and empower each other.

Let’s make up for lost time! Join me at my NEW free monthly hangouts, a live streaming video get-together on the first Wednesday of the month, starting next Wednesday. You’ll find:

• a splash of live music (expect some ukulele!)
• a peek into my creative process (and possibly yours, too, if you want to share!)
• an interview/conversation with a different special guest each month–a creative person I admire, with cool stuff to share, who will inspire and/or amuse us
• Q&A with me and my special guest-of-the-month

All in my unique, Inspirationalist style. And yes, all live, on streaming video (with access to the recording for those who can’t make it live). But you gotta be on the hangout mailing list so I can send you info on how to join in live, and a link to the recording afterwards.

The first hangout is next Wednesday, April 4th, at 2pm PDT, with special guest, author, coach and educator Tara Rodden Robinson, the Productivity Maven.

If you struggle with procrastination, with using your time efficiently, with getting sucked into things that maybe aren’t the best use of your energies while your Important Work languishes, don’t miss this!

So mark your calendar! And click here to get on the list.

FYI, future guests will include:

Emilie Wapnick – fellow Passion Pluralite, Chief Multipotentialite at Puttylike.com, and author of Renaissance Business: Make Your Multipotentiality Your Day Job. (May)

Christyna Lewis – intuitive Financial Coach at Beeventures.org, known for helping creative types make friends with their finances. (June)

C.A. Kobu – Creative Alchemist and Project Midwife at WakeUpAndFlourish.com, and creator of the amazing A Year With Myself program (aff) (featuring yours truly in last week’s prompt). (July)

Sue Ann Gleason – Writer, Speaker, Culinary Nutritionist, inspiring women to trust their intuition, unravel their food stories and take back their plates, one luscious bite at a time, at ChocolateForBreakfast.com and ConsciousBitesNutrition.com. (August)

With more inspiring amazingness to come…

It’s free, and fun, and something of an ongoing experiment, guided by yours truly, and shaped by everyone involved. Join us!

Now tell me: What would you like to say to your teenage self?

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

One of my favorite parts of Tara Mohr’s Playing Big program* so far is the notion of the Inner Critic.

If that name alone didn’t bring up a clear picture for you, let me flesh it out a bit.

It may manifest as the voice that tells you “you’re not good enough,” or “you’re not ready for this.”

Or the voice of “who are YOU to think you could do that?”

Or the voice of “THEY are so much better than you; you might as well just give up.”

Basically any self-doubt message that keeps you stuck — that’s what Tara would call the Inner Critic.

Havi calls these voices monsters (her Monster Manual* is the niftiest guide I know for learning how to talk to those monsters). I’ve taken to thinking of mine as gremlins (which somehow seem smaller and less threatening to me than monsters, but that’s just me).

Hence my Inner Critic Gremlin.

We all have these critical voices. In fact, they’re wired into us as human beings. (That’s right — if you were thinking you were alone in having gremlins/monsters/an Inner Critic, you are very much not alone.)

Way back in human pre-history, trying something new, making yourself visible — say, by standing alone out on the velt — had a good chance of getting you eaten. Our brains evolved to keep us safe, to avoid anything that might make us likely to become a saber-toothed tiger snack (and hence not pass on our genes to the next generation). And even though the threats we deal with now are NOT saber-toothed tigers, to our primitive lizard brains, they might as well be, because it can seem just that scary.

The problem, of course, is that the kind of thoughts that evolved to keep us safe and alive can also keep us stuck and playing small.

Making a painting, or writing a play, or speaking in public are actually not likely to get us eaten, but the lizard brain doesn’t know this. All the lizard brain knows is “new=scary” and “standing out=dangerous” and “playing big=NO FREAKIN’ WAY!”

With the best of intentions, the lizard brain tries to keep us safe by speaking in the voice of the Inner Critic Gremlin (or monster, or whatever you want to call it). And that leads to NOT following the dreams of our hearts, which in turn leads to a lot of unhappiness and frustration when we live lives of of settling, instead of going after the lives we really, really want.

What to do?

Thanks to Tara and Havi, along with a bunch of other resources and teachers (combined with a lot of self-work), I now know 7 ways to recognize my Inner Critic Gremlin.

I know how to distinguish my Inner Critic Gremlin from realistic thinking.

I know over a dozen different specific tactics for talking to my Inner Critic Gremlin.

And most important of all, I’m practicing hearing my Inner Critic Gremlin’s voice without taking direction from it.

(This is important, because I hate to tell you this, but that voice is NOT EVER going to go away. In fact, the bigger you play, the louder the Inner Critic Gremlin tends to get.)

I say I’m practicing hearing my Inner Critic Gremlin’s voice without taking direction from it, because this stuff takes practice. The Inner Critic Gremlin can be very subtle and very sneaky.

Here’s a recent example:

I managed to sneak by my Inner Critic Gremlin and write my upcoming 19,000-word ebook, Creating Happiness: 9 Essential Secrets for Creative People ([subtitle currently in process]). But when my publisher, Tanner at Aspindle, asked if I’d like to design the cover, possibly incorporating some of my artwork, my first thoughts were “Me? Design the cover for a book that I want to stand out on the virtual shelves of the Amazon Kindle store? Are you kidding? There’s no WAY I’m up to that task!”

and

“I’m not a Graphic Designer!”

and

“My art isn’t nearly graphic and ‘poppy’ enough to do a good job.”

and

“I’m not good enough to do a good job!”

In other words, classic Inner Critic Gremlin stuff. Textbook.

And yet I didn’t recognize it as the Inner Critic Gremlin at all! As far as I was concerned, these thoughts were nothing more or less than The Truth.

Which is, as you may have guessed, one of the Inner Critic Gremlin’s sneakiest tricks: to masquerade as The Truth.

The Power of Mirrors

Thankfully, the story didn’t end there. When I wasn’t entirely thrilled with the mockups that my publisher came up with, I did decide to try my own hand at some designs. But did I pull out some of my artwork, or sit down to use my hard-earned skills as a calligrapher and hand-letter a title?

NO.

I still didn’t give credence to the possibility that my own artwork might be up to the task. Somehow, I had it in my head that my book cover had to have a certain slick, modern look, which (I reasoned) only a professional photo could provide.

So yes, I cranked out a handful of cover mockups… which all used stock photography, and ended up looking so generic and bland that none of my personality shone through at all.

I had a vague sense that none of them was quite “it” yet, but it wasn’t until I sent an email polling my wonderful audience of subscribers for their opinions that I finally woke up. I thought I would just get some help picking which one of the covers to use. What I ended up getting was a kick in the pants, right when I needed it most.

“Your covers need more love!” said one email in reply.

“I think your art speaks volumes…why wouldn’t you put your own work on the cover?” said another.

“I wish you would have been able to incorporate some of your personal art into the design.” said yet another.

And another: “You have such insight and wit, and I think the book cover should show it… I don’t think any of these covers do you justice.”

Snap!

My subscribers mirrored back to me what I already knew myself, and suddenly I saw, clear as day, that what I’d believed to be “The Truth” was nothing but the voice of my Inner Critic Gremlin, trying to keep me small and safe.

What I Learned

Not only did this exercise teach me a lot about how very sneaky my Inner Critic Gremlin can be, but I learned some other valuable lessons as well:

My peeps are not just generous, thoughtful and super-smart, they also really believe in what I’m doing and want to see me succeed. (This is, of course, what anyone building an audience is going for, but validation is always a wonderful thing.)

If you’re creating something you hope will make a difference in the world, getting feedback in advance from the people you’re hoping to impact is a really good thing (because you can then make new iterations that will be even better), and is ultimately less scary than avoiding potential criticism altogether until after your thing is born (when it’s too late to make improvements or changes).

In the case of my cover design, I got feedback from a slew of folks (a sort of mini-version of “crowdsourcing”). In the case of the book itself, I’ve been working with an editor. (Note: This is not the same as “designing by committee,” which is notorious for resulting in crap. The creator needs to hold onto her Big Vision during the iterative process. Not always an easy line to walk. And a big enough topic to be worthy of its own blog post [or several].)

Now when Creating Happiness finally actually comes out, I won’t be pushing it off a ledge into the utter unknown. This doesn’t mean that everyone will like either the cover or the content. You can’t please everyone, regardless of what you do. But at least I’ll know that the cover rings more true of ME for the people on my list (and me!) than it would have otherwise, and that’s nothing to sneeze at.

Meanwhile, one of my supremely talented subscribers offered his services to help me design a better cover, which has led, quite serendipitously, to a very exciting collaboration, and a new direction for a cover design which uses my artwork, and which I’m actually excited about!

You never know what good things will result from putting yourself out there.

Now I’m off to work on the artwork for that new design… (Want to be the first to see it, and possibly to weigh in with a vote of your own? Be sure to subscribe to the blog if you haven’t already!)

Where have you taken direction from your own Inner Critic Gremlin? 

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

Announcement Time!

If you’d like to learn some hands-on techniques for recognizing your own Inner Critic Gremlin, and tips for wrangling your Gremlin and bringing it to heal, you’ll love my upcoming Gremlin Training Lab! This 90-minute telephone clinic will be FREE for all Creative Ignition Club members.

Club members will get first dibs, and then if there’s still space I’ll open it up to blog subscribers for $37 (click here to get on that list).

And did you know that while the Clubhouse is being remodeled, membership in the Creative Ignition Club is seriously on sale? Click here to check it out. You get discounts on just about everything I create, plus exclusive access to the Creative Ignition Club online community once the Clubhouse remodel is done.

–

*And yes, those asterisked links are affiliate links, in case you’re wondering, and (sarcasm alert!) could potentially send gobs and gobs of money my way, no doubt enough to pay off all my debt, remodel my kitchen and replace my windows. Though the Playing Big program is currently closed, so all you’ll find there is a sign-up form. Which I think will pay me a commission if you sign up and later buy the program. Though I’m not 100% sure about that. Just sayin’.

Photo by cwasteson at Flickr

Of all the challenges I’ve given myself so far this year, my Great Bedtime Experiment is certainly one of the most successful. Not only did I manage to get to bed (lights out!) by 11pm every night during the month of January, but I’m thrilled that my formerly set-in-stone “damn the torpedoes; full speed ahead” approach to bedtime (ie, stay up as late as necessary to get as much as possible done, regardless of the physical costs) has been utterly revolutionized.

It is now normal for me to think of 10pm as “get ready for bed” time, and any time after 11pm as “past my bedtime.”

Seriously, this is nothing short of a miracle.

Given that it is close to 10pm as I type this, then, I’m going to make it short in order to maintain my beautiful bedtime routine.

In fact, though, this post has long been intended to be a brief (though very important!) announcement, so my usual verbosity isn’t necessary anyway.

What the hell am I talking about? Just this:

The Poobahs of Play Announce Our Grand Opening!

For the past 4 1/2 months, I’ve been deep in scheming and dreaming, planning and organizing with my partner in crime (and fellow Poobah), Kelly Hevel.

Together, we are the Poobahs of Play, and our plans for world domination include spreading the seeds of creative play like a couple of 21st Century Johnny Appleseeds.

I’ve mentioned our partnership before, but now I’m delighted to officially announce the launch of our new website and  joint venture, Playing Around Workshops!

I just posted the full announcement, complete with lots of juicy details (like a free tele-party; a $100 discount on our upcoming online course, Playing Around Online; and a contest to win a scholarship to do the course for free) on the new Playing Around Workshops blog.

We also have a little announcement about our upcoming creativity workshop in the fall, Playing Around Istanbul, which you can read all about right here.

Click here for the full Grand Opening blog post.

Be sure to sign up for the free tele-party, and leave a comment on the blog post if you want a chance to win the free scholarship to Playing Around Online!

Whew! Lots of fun stuff coming up. I hope to see you at some or all of it!

And now, in the spirit of Great Bedtime Experimenting (continued), I’m signing off.

aka Poobah Melissa

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

Hooboy, what a fun treat I have for you today! I scored an interview with creative business maven, Tara Gentile.

Tara is a leader in creating what she calls “the You Economy,” redefining commerce as the creation and distribution of meaning, relationship and experience.

How’s that for awesome?

I highly recommend Tara’s ebook, The Art of Earning, which deals very elegantly with so many issues that we creatives (and others) struggle with when it comes to money and our relationship with it. I dare you to read it without being somehow transformed. (And with a “$25 or what you can afford” price tag, you really have no excuse not to.)

As a participant in another Tara’s online course — Tara Mohr’s outstanding Playing Big journey — I’m hyper-aware of other women out there playing big, and Tara Gentile rocks this out. Not so long ago she was earning $28K/year working 50-60 hours/week at Borders Books. Now she’s a role model for any creative who wants to do well for her(or him)self.

Tara is a model of doing well by doing good, a visionary who helps other visionaries and creatives bring our gifts to the world (and get paid well for it).

Now Tara’s turned The Art of Earning into a live event, taking place next Thursday, February 23. Twenty lucky participants get to join her in Philadelphia, but guess what, the rest of us can participate too (and clothing’s optional for us!)

Wazzat?

Yep, smartypants Tara has created a virtual ticket for The Art of Earning Live. I’m one of Tara’s affiliate partners, which snagged me a ticket, and I’m pretty excited. Check it out, and if it speaks to you, maybe I’ll see you there. (NOTE: All of the above links are affiliate links, and if you click through and buy, I’ll earn a commission — 20% on the live event and 50% on the ebook, in case you’re wondering).

Regardless ow whether you come to The Art of Earning Live or not, watch the video (which is, of course, totally free). We talk about some pretty juicy stuff at the intersection of art, creativity, making a difference, and MONEY. It might just get you thinking.

Then tell me, what is the biggest money mindset issue that’s holding you back?

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

I’ve got two treats from the virtual chocolate box for you today.

First, some fun news: I’m presenting at a Pleasure Party!

22 teachers presenting on pleasure over a 7-day period, and it’s totally free. Click here to register, and to see my workshop, Creative Pleasure RULES: 3 Steps for Bringing More Creative Joy Into Your Life (which is live TODAY!)

(Those links, btw, are affiliate links. The Pleasure Party itself is free, but there will be an option to buy some pretty cool Pleasure Packages at the end of it, and if you do buy something, I’ll get a commission. It’s not going to buy me that Mercedes I have my eye on, or that round-the-world cruise, but it could send a few pennies my way, and I wanted to make sure you knew that. Transparency and all that.)

And second, a little Valentine’s Day treat.

Ah, Valentine’s Day. People seem to either love it or hate it.

Until recently, I was definitely in the latter camp. A “holiday” with no real purpose (it seemed to me) other than to give the candy, card and flower vendors a reason to jack up their prices, I thought of Valentine’s Day less as a red letter day and more as National Make Single People Feel Bad Day. (Watch the video to the end for this reference to become clear.)

(I’ve since been strongly corrected by many married friends that it can also be National Make Married (or Coupled) People Feel Bad Day, too. Indeed.)

More recently, though, Valentine’s Day has come to take on added, and very positive meaning for me. Ironically enough, and very unintentionally, it has become my anniversary — not of a wedding, or even a first date, but the day that my sweetie and I count as the start of our “official” relationship.

I had planned to write a new post for today, a Valentine for my sweetie. However, in the spirit of upping my peacefulness quotient, and to make space for the surprise anniversary treat that he’s whisking me away to at 5pm today, I am instead just writing this short preamble as a way to introduce you to this post from “the chocolate box” (ie, the archives).

It remains one of my all-time favorites. It’s called

Gradually Wandering Into Love

Click through, read, and enjoy. (And don’t forget to check out my Pleasure Party workshop too — it’s only 13 minutes long, and you’ll get all the other workshops too, all for free.)

Happy Valentine’s Day.

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

When I was 13, I stopped doing art.

Not that I gave up on all creative pursuits. I played viola in the school orchestra, and at 16 I discovered dance, my first Bliss, which I pursued with a manic passion, until I was permanently sidelined by an injury a few years later (long story).

But drawing? Painting? Making cool stuff with my hands? That, it seemed to me at the time, was the purview of other folks.

Meanwhile, while I was focusing on other things, my friend Karen was honing her already-significant drawing and design skills. A visit with her to the art classroom in high school, where other classmates’ works lined the walls and shelves, seemed to offer irrefutable evidence that art was something other people had a monopoly on.

They were the artists. Therefore (or so I believed), I wasn’t.

I forged ahead, through college and grad school, with a rather zombie-like doggedness, and pretty much gave up on my creative spirit. (Academia has a way of sucking creativity out of you.)

The inner creative child cannot easily be suppressed forever, though, and thankfully, finally, at 28, I “re-discovered” mine. She was not dead, as I’d almost come to believe, but just needed some permission and play to spring fully back to life.

I gave my inner creative child art and creativity classes in every form and genre I could find — writing, painting, drawing, ceramics, calligraphy — and that last one, calligraphy, bit me hard. I was quickly hooked, immersed myself in the pursuit of mastering this art form, and gradually, over the years, I turned it into my livelihood.

The “Not An Artist” title, I discovered, had never been an accurate one, although I should say that it took me a number of years to fully claim the title as “Artist” (a fact which deserves, and no doubt will get, its own blog post another time).

Now I can only shake my head and laugh sadly at the pain those years of denying my creative spirit caused me. I now refer to the time from age 13 to 28 as “my 15-year hiatus.”

The Persistence of Resistance

I’d like to tell you that I and my inner creative child lived happily ever after from that point on, but I’d be lying.

As I share in the video above (and in this post), the reality is that, after I had finally reconnected with my creative spirit, it didn’t take long for the demon of Resistance to rear its ugly head and try and separate us once again.

What helped? That time around (because, dear reader, I hate to tell you, but Resistance comes in a multitude of costumes and is nothing if not persistent), what brought me and my creative spirit together again was the book The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, now known the world over as a classic in the realm of helping people reclaim their innate creativity.

Julia gave me permission to play. To experiment. To discover what was inside me to discover. To be okay with and embrace my own, unique way of dancing with my inner muse.

I still think fondly of that time of re-emergence, and Julia Cameron has my undying gratitude.

If I were to do it all again, though, this time around I wouldn’t go it alone. I’ve learned how powerful it is to go through a transformative process in community with others on the same path.

The really cool thing is that I do get to do it all again. We all do.

I don’t mean re-reading and re-doing The Artist’s Way (although that’s certainly an option!) I mean allowing my creative spirit to grow, re-emerge, shed its skin, become more truly me and shine ever more brightly.

And the best part of all is that now, oh-so-many years later, I get to guide other people on their own journeys of creative re-discovery. That’s my main focus here, in the Circles I run, in my coaching practice, and in the courses and workshops I’m brewing up.

Playing Around Online

Speaking of which (see how I did that?), I’ve got just such a course coming up in about a month, which I’m super-excited to be co-teaching with my brilliant partner and fellow artist and coach, Kelly Hevel. It’s called Playing Around Online, and it’s our way of introducing ourselves, and our new joint venture, to you.

(It’s also our online version of what we’re brewing up in “3-D”: creative immersion vacations in inspiring locations around the world! Coming September 29-October 7, Playing Around Istanbul — a week-long creativity retreat in (wait for it…) Istanbul! Yeah, you seriously want to mark your calendar and start saving your pennies for that one. But back to Playing Around Online…)

For 12 weeks, from March 14-May 30, we’ll gently lead you in an ongoing “playdate for the big kids,” where you’ll get to shed your inhibitions, try out new techniques, inject your personality into your art, writing, and creative crafts — and learn to use your unique life story as inspiration!

I’ll be sharing more about Playing Around Online over the coming weeks (including the “grand opening” of our website). For now, I invite you just to notice how your body and soul respond to the idea of 12 weeks together, attending to your creative spirit.

Excited? Scared? Raring to go? Resistant?

Any one of those reactions could be your inner creative telling you it’s time for this.

No need to make any decisions right now — just notice. And pay special attention to that voice of Resistance, which might be saying something like “You’re not an artist!” or “You don’t deserve this!” or “You don’t need this!” or “What a ridiculous waste of time!” or “What a ridiculous waste of money!” or “You’re not good enough!”

Um, yeah. (All voices I’ve heard in my own head, by the way, when seeking to dance more fully with my own inner muse. And pretty reliable indicators that whatever is making them shout so loud is probably exactly what I need!)

Free Tele-Party!

Ready to battle that Resistance demon? Mark your calendar and fill in the form below to come to the free tele-party* that Kelly and I are hosting on Wednesday, March 7, from 10:30-noon PST, Living the Creative Life: Fact vs. Fiction. We’ll be sharing the stories of our own creative journeys (including how we’ve battled the Resistance demon!), exposing the myths and truths around what it means to live a creative life, and inviting you to join in what we hope will be a lively conversation.

Plus you’ll get a chance to win a free spot in Playing Around Online — how cool is that?

If you’re even the slightest bit interested, just fill in the form below (or if you’re reading this on email and the form isn’t working, just click here to fill out the online form) and we’ll keep you posted on how to register for the free tele-party and the chance to win that scholarship spot.

I hope you’ll join us on March 7th!

What forms has the Resistance demon taken in your life? How have you succeeded in battling it?

PS – Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

* What’s a tele-party? It’s like a party of creatives (including “wannabe,” and think-they’re-not-creatives), over the phone. We could call it a teleseminar, but that sounds so “markety,” dry and academic — which we definitely are not!

“What?” you may be thinking. “Has Melissa flipped her lid? Everyone knows you can’t buy happiness!”

Ah, but they’re wrong. You can buy happiness. Just not in the way you probably think.

Read on…

True, accumulating stuff is not the route to happiness — I’ll be the first to grant that. But money can, indeed contribute to happiness.

And yes, I submit that actually spending money can lead to happiness.

I’m not just talking about the “indulge in a modest splurge” recommendation that Gretchen Rubin makes in her best-selling book, The Happiness Project, either. My $10 OXO grater gives me a sparkly moment of happiness every time I use it, but that’s not the kind of happiness I mean.

I mean an overall sense of well-being. A baseline of “happy,” as opposed to a baseline of “meh” or even worse, a baseline of “low-grade misery.”

That’s the kind of happiness I’m talking about, and yes, you can buy it.

(With some caveats.)

Here’s the thing: as I’m writing about in my upcoming e-book, one of the keys to happiness for Creatives (and for everyone, really) is do the things that make you happy (which for Creatives, would obviously include doing their creative thing(s)).

Pretty (ahem) obvious, right?

Except the problem is, a lot of people don’t do the things that make them happy. Resistance gets in the way, and they just never make the time.

(I’m not going to go into why they don’t make the time in this particular post, but given that getting people doing their creative thing is pretty much my biggest passion in life (along with doing my own creative things, of course), you can rest assured it’s a pretty hot topic in these here parts, so poke around, or just stay tuned, and I guarantee you’ll hear more from me on the subject.)

What if, though, you could buy something that would help you do the thing that makes you happy?

Voilá! You just bought yourself some happiness, darlin’!

Of course, there’s a caveat:

Just buying the thing is not enough. You actually have to use it too.

Thought experiment: Say you’re passionate about, oh, golf (ex-husband, anyone?). You’ve played a bit, and you like the idea of playing more, so you buy yourself a fancy set of golf clubs.

Which spend the next several years gathering dust and cobwebs in the garage.

That, my friend, is not going to cut it (as my ex-husband would probably be the first to tell you).

Golf clubs represented the kind of life my ex wished he had, as a person who had the time made the time to play golf. But owning the clubs did not transform him into someone who made time to do things like play golf.

What my ex-husband really needed was transformation. Stuff (in the form of golf clubs) was not enough.

Same thing with the expensive mountain bike, 20-foot sail boat, and vintage Porsche. But I digress.

Now imagine if my ex-husband took the money he’d spent on those golf clubs and invested it instead in lessons from a golf pro. And imagine that he actually scheduled and took those lessons.

With one swipe of his credit card (and granted, some wrangling of his calendar), he just transformed himself from Someone Who Wishes He Did Fun Things Like Play Golf [whether or not YOU think golf qualifies as a Fun Thing is beside the point; bear with me here] into Someone Who Actually Plays Golf.

(Okay, he’d still have to rent or buy some clubs, so he couldn’t take all the money he’d spent on the original set of clubs, but hopefully you can see where I’m going with this.)

Money buys transformation, which buys happiness.

In short, buying stuff: not enough.

Buying transformation, though, that’s da bomb.

It’s sure worked in my own life. When I wanted to transform from a Person Who Doesn’t Know How To Do Calligraphy into a Calligrapher, I spent my money on as many classes, workshops, conferences, and books I could get ahold of, and dove into them like my life depended on it.

I also bought enough tools and materials to stock a good-sized walk-in refrigerator. And some of them I needed, to be sure, in order to master my craft. But the tools alone, without the inspiration and motivation to use them, might as well have been locked away permanently in that proverbial walk-in refrigerator.

The classes and workshops and conferences and books inspired and motivated me to keep at it. (Plus they were just plain fun along the way!) They were the catalyst I needed to transform myself. And that transformation — especially the process of transformation; the pursuit of mastery more so even than the achievement of it — made me very happy indeed.

Money bought transformation, which bought happiness.

When I wanted to transform myself from a Person Who Doesn’t Know How To Sing Jazz into a Jazz Singer, I spent my money on classes and CDs and concerts and music camps and nights at the local open mike to hone my craft. Which were fun and wonderful in and of themselves, AND they inspired a transformation that made me very happy.

Money bought transformation, which bought happiness.

When I wanted to bring my great passion for inspiring others to the world in a way that would nourish my audience and myself, I spent my money on seminars and classes and workshops and e-books and membership sites that helped me pursue mastery in all the various and sundry tools and knowledge I’d need to realize my vision.

All of which have helped transform me from a Person With A Vision But No Clear Path To Realizing It into a Creative Thought Leader Building A Following And Making My Mark On The World. Which, in turn, has made me very happy.

Money bought transformation, which bought happiness.

Of course, I’m still very much a work in progress in each of the above examples (and believe me, there are plenty more where those came from). But the operative word here is progress. And spending money on all of the above helped me make some in a big way.

And yeah, if I’d bought all those courses and camps and conferences and stuff and hadn’t invested myself in any of them, no amount of money would have helped. So money alone still isn’t the answer.

But used wisely, it can be part of the answer. If you buy something, and you use it, and that helps you do the thing that lights your fire and makes you feel alive, that, I daresay, is money well-spent!

Which is something to consider as we launch ever deeper into holiday spending madness.

Tell me, have you ever bought transformation? What have you spent money on that made you happy?

Aaaaaand, if you’re looking for inspiration and transformation, I may have just what you need. Visit the recently re-stocked “Get Fired Up” Shop, or just scroll down for a list of inspirational and transformational goodies I’m pleased and proud to be offering right now.

PS – Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

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Buy Yer Happiness Here!

In order of most time-sensitive, here’s what I got that you might want to get your paws on:

Ready to get fired up? Are you dying to do that creative thing you’ve been so hungry to do for oh, so long, but feeling a little stuck? You don’t have to try to do it alone! I created the Creative Ignition Club just for you, and other Creatives just like you. It’s a creative recharge, creative toolbox, and creative support community all in one.

All memberships come with my 30-day kick-start, the Creative Ignition Kit, and memberships of 3 months or longer also get my Playshop-In-A-Box for free ($37 value).

Click to join now — Early-Bird Holiday Special pricing ends Friday!

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The Day of Genius (link opens in new window) is a day-long virtual retreat, co-produced by Michelle Nickolaisen of Let’s Radiate, to help you shake off holiday stress and get your New Year off to the right start. Focus on you, clarify your true values, create heart-centered goals, establish habits that stick, all in a relaxed, supportive environment. You get a full day of live, streaming video AND recordings of all seminars to review on your own time, whether or not you’re able to attend live. Plus workbooks, worksheets, and the opportunity for individual coaching / “hot-seating.”

Oh, and buy a premium ticket and you get a 1-month membership in the Creative Ignition Club for free! (Plus some other cool bonuses.)

Click to get your ticket now — Early-Bird Special pricing ends Friday!

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Personally, I don’t care if you want to make money from your art or not. My biggest passion is just to get you doing your creative thing. You might never want to sell it, and that’s cool.

But I’m also passionate about deprogramming the “starving artist” myth that keeps so many artists from achieving the kind of success they deserve. If you do have a dream of earning a real income from your art, ArtEmpowers.Me, the online course and membership site I co-created with Cory Huff of the Abundant Artist, will teach you how.

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Playshop-In-A-Box includes all the content from the live telephone Playshop (Playshop!) I offered last September. Treat yourself to some time to play and make art. It’s like a spiritual bubble-bath! Includes 6 tutorial videos, the 90-minute Playshop mp3, and the opportunity to show your stuff right here on the blog if you like.

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Stuff! Yes, indeed! I don’t just have digital goodies — I’ve got your 3D stuff right here.

But inspirational stuff. A real book (like with paper and everything), beautifully-printed in full color, with 100 original artworks from my 2011 ArtSpark newsletter, to inspire you to get cracking doing your creative thing.

Click here or on the image to preview the entire book.

Use the code HOLIDAY to get 15% off your order, or get 20% off any two books with the code GIVEGIFTS, through Nov. 30.

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Want more? Check out the “Get Fired Up” Shop.

Oh, yeah: sleep!

That’s what I’m hoping to catch up on this week, after the marathon I’ve been running nonstop for the past.. week? Two weeks? Who remembers anymore?

I didn’t do the worst job ever of keeping myself from being sucked into the creative obsession cave. But I’ll confess didn’t do the best job, either.

It’s been a crazy push, but the engagement of my beta-testers in the brand-new Creative Ignition Club site has been hugely gratifying. And apparently, this project was just due.

I said to someone over the phone today that it felt kinda like I’d been quietly gestating this thing for 5 months, tra-la-la-la-la-la, wondering if/when it would ever happen, and was I a flake, and should I just let it go, and then suddenly it was like Ack! You are fully dilated, honey! 9 centimeters! This baby is COMING OUT NOW!

Sometimes life is like that, I guess. At least for me.

And so it is that, with great pride and a certain amount of exhaustion, I officially unveil for you my latest baby:

Check out the very detailed sales page while I head into that room with the big soft thing that normal people spend a third of their days lying on, and get re-aquainted with that sleep thing.

(Maybe next time I’ll make a little more progress on keeping out of the creative-obsession cave. Every little bit helps, right?)

PS – The cart is open for new members ONLY today and tomorrow – I shut it down at 11:59pm November 1. So if you think you might be interested, or know someone who is, you won’t want to dilly-dally. Just sayin’.

It started off very innocently.

A simple idea, really. Just a little tool box for creatives, to kick-start them into a daily creative practice. Just for one month.

A kit to get them creatively ignited…

Because if you can hang onto a daily practice for a month, it’s pretty much proof that you can hang onto it for as long as you want.

And my goal is to get everyone with a hunger to create doing their creative thing.

So I dreamed, and tinkered, and started working like mad.

(Thank goodness for circuit-breaker boyfriends!)

But as these things so often do, what started off small and innocent, quickly grew to something much bigger and… well… downright powerful!

Here’s how it happened:

Me the Innocent: “Hmmm… My Creative Ignition Circle members get so much out of the group interaction, on the phone and online… Wouldn’t it be awesome to offer some kind of online forum and maybe a couple of conference calls for the first group of Creative Ignition Kit buyers?”

Me the Manic Dreamer: “Yeah! But you know, a forum is so dry and… linear. So un-aesthetic. What would be really awesomelicious is if we could create some kind of hangout that feels more like the secret Facebook page where Circlers hang out. Where we can post pictures and videos and have them show up right there in the feed, instead of having to dig through a bunch of text to find stuff we want to look at.

Me the Innocent: “Ahh, yes. That would be great! I wonder if there’s anything like that available…”

Mmm… That dangerously delicious question: “I wonder…?” When Me the Manic Dreamer gets hold of a notion, it all-too-often triggers an obsessive-compulsive quest to Figure Stuff Out.

[Read: Manic searching of the Net-that-is-Inter for a Facebook-like platform for my Kit buyers, followed by discovery of said platform, followed by Multiple Unsuccessful Attempts to make platform play nice with blog software, accompanied by much gnashing of teeth and tearing of hair.]

Usually followed by a moment of throwing my hands in the air and giving up entirely.

[Read: Firm decision to Just Stick With a Forum, dammit.]

Followed in turn by an upsurge of renewed determination. I Will. Make. This. Work.

And extreme-sport-like climbing of technological learning curves.

[Read: Several manic-obsessive insomniac nights and early mornings putting. Up. A. Brand. New. Website. {creativeignitionclub.com, in case you're wondering}]

And that’s how the Creative Ignition Club was born!

A week ago, it was a “hmm… wouldn’t that be nice someday?” dream that I didn’t quite believe was possible.

Today, it’s an actual reality.

A home for anyone with a hunger to create and a big heart. (Because it’s about supporting each other, having each others’ backs, lifting each other up so that each one of us rises with the tide.)

A way to spread the deliciousness of my Creative Ignition Circles out to more people.

(Because after all, there’s only one of me, and I only take 4 members in a Circle at a time.)

From Innocent to Powerful

Now, instead of offering an online forum and a couple of conference calls just for the first group of Creative Ignition Kit buyers, I am delighted to announce the Creative Ignition Club, where people can get sparked by the Kit (included with every Club membership), but stay stoked by the community.

After all, my Circlers continue to meet up online, even after their 2-month session is over. A community of passionate, loving, supportive creatives has already started sprouting. Let’s water it!

So what is the Creative Ignition Club, anyway?

Glad you asked!

It’s open-heartedness and sharing. It’s playfulness and experimentation. It’s vulnerability and safety. It’s validation and accountability and empowerment and self-love.

In a nutshell, it’s a vibrant community of creatives. And a lot more.

What happens in the Creative Ignition Club?

Lots of stuff. Here’s a snapshot:

• There’s a Forum that’s much richer and juicier than your typical online forum. A digital home where we share what’s going on in our creative lives, help each other brainstorm, work on whatever gets in the way and push each other forward toward our biggest visions for ourselves.
• Amazing, brilliant, big-hearted people, who actively support each other. The love and brilliance in this group is a-ma-zing.
• Really, really good listeners, with ideas and possibilities to suggest that you may never have imagined in your wildest dreams.
• Smaller Groups inside the larger community, where sub-circles of members can interact around specific interests, topics and themes. (Or not. Some people hang out only in the smaller Groups; others stick with the main one. Some people float in between. Up to you.)
• Did I mention that YOU can also create your own Groups? Yep. You can. Want a Group just for left-handed German-speaking book artists who also juggle? Go for it!
• Every month you get to rendezvous with me in a Club-wide conference call, where I put on my X-ray Vision Goggles and help get people past their Sticking Points, and everybody gets to contribute.
• We also do a Playshop every month, where we rendezvous on the phone again, but this time to do our creative thing. I create a bubble of safety for everyone, we kick the Suck Duck out the door, and we all go play in the Creative Sandbox for a set amount of time. Then we re-convene to check in and do it all again. Then we re-convene (again) to check in and say goodbye. (Everyone is pretty high at this point, while being at the same time also totally grounded. It’s really cool.)
• You get answers. And insights. And ideas. And epiphanies. And earth-shaking paradigm shifts. Sometimes partnerships spring up. It’s amazing.
• You also get a powerful kick-start, in the form of the Creative Ignition Kit – a whole toolbox of goodies and inspiration to keep you doing your creative thing every day for a whole month:
• Daily emails to inspire you and keep you on track (very brief, to keep the focus on your creative time!)
• A hand-drawn (by me!) downloadable workbook/journal, to chart your journey
• A hand-drawn (also by me!) downloadable wall chart, to check off your commitment goal each day
• A hand-drawn (by me too!) downloadable Commitment Contract, to concretize your commitment to your creative self
• A weekly video to keep you jazzed, and keep the Resistance at bay
• A meditation mp3, to get you grounded and clear and ready to work (or play!)
• A special “Emergency Pack” to be opened only in case of emergency (ie, if you miss a day of your commitment)
• There are also some cool bonuses, like the fact that you get first dibs and super-special pricing on new products and programs, and you even get to help me develop some of them.
• Plus a $50 discount on any Inner Circle/Creative Ignition Circle group coaching mastermind as long as you’re an active member.
• Oh, and 3-month and 12-month members also get my Playshop-In-A-Box – the recording of the original Playshop I offered in September, including 6 tutorial videos. (Which will soon be on my shop shelves with a price tag of $37, fyi.)
• And of course, you get to interact with me and ask me any questions you want whenever I’m hanging out in the Club.

All that (and more) for $54 for 1 month, $72 for 3 months, or $198 for a full year. (And the first three members who sign up or a full year get a 1/2-hour private phone or Skype session with me.)

That’s just a taste. Just words. You really have to experience it to know what it’s like.

And now you can.

Or soon, at least. Monday, to be exact. That’s when I’m opening the doors to new members.

(But if you already know this is for you, sign up here to get on the waiting list, and I might just let you in a day or two early…)

As for me, I’m headed to bed for some much-needed rest…

PS – Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!