Just about every year, for the past several years, I have gifted myself with three experiences of creative immersion, three “islands of time” that have become almost sacred events on my calendar.

Very few things are important enough to get in the way of my doing them.

Attending these retreats, come hell or high water, is one way I live my creative life. Long before I made space in my daily life for my creative self, I held space for these:

In March, there’s the Spring Retreat with my calligraphy guild, the Friends of Calligraphy – 5 days of undirected creative time in a serene former convent, working on whatever the hell I feel like working on, in the company of 29 other creative souls.

The creative energy in the air is palpable here, and for years, this was the only time over the course of the year that I actually let myself create art just for me. Astonishing, I know, but true. This retreat was my sole point of connection to my visual-artist self. My oxygen tank.

Thankfully I’ve figured out how to feed my creative soul the other 360 days of the year, but I still give myself the gift of the retreat, because there’s simply nothing like it.

In late June, the Season of Insanity begins with Jazz Camp West – 8 days of swinging in the trees. A pretty intense summer camp for adults, who also all happen to be jazz musicians.

Followed soon thereafter In mid-July by California Coast Music Camp – a week of acoustic music-making in the woods. This one’s a more laid-back summer camp for adults who enjoy playing – or want to learn to play – acoustic music in a variety of genres, from folk, to Bluegrass, to old timey, to Brazilian, to swing.

Sounds great, right?

And it is, but…

The problem is, as a self-employed solopreneur with a wedding art business that’s slower in fall and winter and ramps up in spring and summer, getting away for a single week during peak season is, let’s just say, a big fat pain in the ass. It essentially requires me to compress 3 to 4 weeks of work into the week or two before I leave.

This is bad enough in the spring, but the amount of effort it takes me to get away for two separate weeks of sleep-away camp in the course of a month of summer weddings is basically insane.

Insane, yes, but totally worth it.

I learned this the hard way.

A couple of years ago, in a misguided attempt to grow my wedding art and stationery business, I decided to invest in a booth at a couple of wedding fairs, which, for time and money reasons meant missing both of my music camps.

Oh, the pain! And what a mistake.

I won’t even go into the dismal ROI I got on the fairs (you can read all about that fiasco here). Missing out on camp hit me just as hard emotionally as that lousy business decision hit my finances, and turned out to be a loss much greater than the lack of those 15 days of fun.

A creative immersion retreat like my music camps, it turns out, has an impact far beyond the time actually spent there. If you’ve ever given yourself the gift of a creative retreat experience like that, you know what I’m talking about.

Once the spirit has blossomed, it doesn’t go back into the bud. Quite the contrary: the transformation and growth that happen at music camp, and at my calligraphy retreat, create momentum that propels me forward through the rest of the year.

Thanks to that notorious Wedding Fair Fiasco Summer, the two years between music camps felt like a long, dry desert.

I learned my lesson that year. Since then I’ve busted my butt to make sure I get to music camp. Even when money’s been tight and I’ve had to apply for a scholarship to get there. Even though it always means a Season of Insanity.

There are simply some cases where crazy hard work is worth it.

This year, though, there’s additional evidence that I may, indeed, be certifiably insane, because this year I layered another piece on top of the craziness.

Late last night I got back from Profit Catalyst, a 3-day business-building seminar in Portland that took place right before Jazz Camp.

In fact, Profit Catalyst actually overlapped with Jazz Camp. Yep, I made the tough decision to miss the first two days of my sacred gift to myself in order to give myself a gift I decided was equally important: three days of intense focus on transforming my business into the the vision-driven, world-changing entity I’m determined to evolve it into.

I have yet to see how missing the first two days of camp impacts my experience. It’s certainly not ideal, and it could be that I’ll regret it deeply at the end of next week.

But after the experience I had at Profit Catalyst, I doubt it. If I could have bottled the feeling of love, support and freakin’ powerhouse ENERGY in the room at the end of yesterday’s final session, I’d give you a drop, and it would change your life.

I can’t do that, of course, but what I can do is pass on my own version of that energy.

Which is exactly what I’m working on doing. Here’s a little secret: part of what I’m most excited about creating in my business (and a small piece of what I directed my focus on while at Profit Catalyst, in fact) is live, in-person creative immersion experiences that give you the same kind of blossoming that I’ve gotten from my music camps and calligraphy retreats. (And Profit Catalyst too. Except that my retreats won’t be about building your business, but about lighting your creative fire.)

Doesn’t that sound fun?

Watch for an advance notice sign-up list and more info down the road. For now, I’m signing off so I can get my butt to Jazz Camp!

Have a great week, and go get creating!

xo,
Melissa

I do tend to dive right in the deep end, and now I realize it’s high time for an explanation. So let me back up and fill you in.

I started my blog to chart my journey to follow my evolving Bliss(es) and create the life I really, really wanted. At the World Domination Summit two weekends ago, more than one speaker talked about how human beings are hard-wired to want to be of service, and from the start of this journey my overarching goal has been to be of service to other people who want to follow their own evolving Bliss(es).

The best way for any of us to do that is to utilize not just our gifts, but our most precious gifts, (as Danielle LaPorte would call them). To hang out in our “genius zone” (as Laura Roeder would put it). As I’ve gotten more clear about what my most precious gifts and genius zone actually are, I’ve been focusing my writing and my offerings more clearly around those gifts.

I’ve always known that I need to create, and I’ve always felt called to help other people get creating too. Although the ways in which I do that are many and varied (me being a Multi-Passionate, after all!), those, in a nutshell, are my most precious gifts.

Another thing that Danielle LaPorte said at WDS is that we come to our edge either through a desire to be of service, or through a desire to self-express. Sitting in the audience, it occurred to me that when I’m at my best, everything I do springs from both desires merging into one.

The art that I create, I create from the desire to self-express, AND the desire to be of service – to inspire YOU to create.

When I sing a funny song I wrote, my desire is both to self-express, AND to be of service – to make you laugh, or think or feel more deeply.

When I write a blog post, I write from the desire to self-express, AND the desire to be of service – to make you smile, or think differently, or make a change in your life.

Although this journey has been ongoing (after all, I’ve been on it for as long as I’ve been alive), in the past couple of months I have gained clarity at a turbocharged pace. (Action Studio and WDS in 4 weeks will do that to a girl.) And ever the impatient-to-get-stuff-done type, I’ve made a mad dash to translate that internal clarity into my external world.

So I dove head first into the deep end (as I’m wont to do) and in one fell swoop I:

• changed the look and feel of my site
• changed the tagline
• changed my offerings

Whew! Only now, stopping to take a breath, do I realize that it would be have been awfully cool if I’d, oh, maybe asked your opinion on my tagline, for example!

Doh.

Lesson learned. But let me ask you now: What do you like about the new site? And what would you like to see from me next?

I’m brewing some stuff up that I think you’ll like, but I want to hear from you: How can I best be of service?

That’s the question I’m asking myself, and it’s the question I’m asking you. I’d adore it if you’d share your responses below.

xo,
Melissa

1) You flail around for a time, not knowing what you’re doing, wondering if you’ll ever figure it out.

2) The haze lifts, it all miraculously starts to become clear, and you begin to lock in on a direction.

3) Now that you have a clear direction, not only do ideas start to pop like dried out corn kernels in hot oil, but your desire to get down the path already blooms into a breathless sense of urgency. (Insomnia optional, but frequently included.)

—

Let me interrupt for a moment here to state that it works this way no matter what you’re creating: a new piece of art, a blog post, a new song, a direction for your business, a Halloween party…

Sometimes the intervals between 1, 2 and 3 above are excruciatingly long, sometimes they’re so short you barely notice them. But they’re always there.

And here’s what almost always comes next:

The Irresistible Draw of the Non-Urgent

Need to get a client project done?

Suddenly the kitty fluffs that have been multiplying on the rug for weeks must be vacuumed now.

Blog post overdue?

Suddenly your toenails, which have been neglected for months, require a pedicure right this minute.

Have a website to overhaul and a big, new thing to create?

Suddenly the rosemary bush out back, the one that’s been threatening to devour the entire rest of the yard for the past 6 9 12 months must be clipped immediately!

(That last one? Um, yeah, that was me today.)

But wait, there’s more.

Life is complicated, and those urgent, important, cannot-wait-to-get-them-done projects have a way of layering themselves.

Take the big ones on my plate this week, both Action Studio-inspired:

• Now that I have a clear message and direction for my business, I’m rarin’ to go on the new (briefly aforementioned) thingy I’m brewing up to get you off your good intentions and actually doing your creative thing.
• And at the same time, now that I have a clear message and direction for my business, I was finally rarin’ to overhaul my website (also briefly aforementioned) to better reflect who I am and what I do.

If you’ve been here before, you may notice that I’ve made a tad bit of progress on the second bullet item above. As in a complete overhaul. (And yes, I’d love to hear what you think!)

Which effectively sucked all of my time and energy away from the first bullet item above.

And yet, I can’t really file this under the Irresistible Draw of the Non-Urgent, because getting my website clearer was actually a more urgent need than getting the new thingy done. Choosing to spend time on Urgent Project A over Urgent Project B is simply part of what I call Life and Business Triage.

Perhaps now that the website is, if not done (a website being always a work in progress), at least in a state of acceptable for now, perhaps now I can return my attention – finally – to the new thingy.

But let’s first return to our ordered list.

—

Where were we? Oh, yes:

4) The Irresistible Draw of the Non-Urgent tugs at the hem of your clothes. (You may get a lot of cleaning or purging or other things you normally avoid done during this time, which is a lovely silver lining.)

5) You finally get to work, and hit:

The Wall of It-Will-Never-Be-Good-Enough

And here’s where you get to work on your stuff, as they say.

Hello Perfectionism, my old friend.

Thankfully, I’m getting better at sitting Perfectionism down with a cup of coffee and leaving it there while I get to work.

Affirmations help. In a guest-star matinee appearance for Action Studio last Wednesday, Kelly Kingman reminded us that perfect is the enemy of done. And as an ex-boyfriend of mine liked to say, better is better.

So…

6) Armed with these weapons against Perfectionism, you let go of perfect, get back to work (interspersed with repeated visits to #4 above) and let yourself get to done.

And maybe (in the case, say, of a website)…

7) You keep tweaking to make it better.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

—

Fear and Resistance and Stuckness, Oh My!

Perfectionism and the Irresistible Draw of the Non-Urgent are just a couple of the many demons that get in the way. The new thingy I’m brewing up is like chain mail to help you past them – it maybe won’t kill them, but it will give you the confidence to get out of your cave and walk past them.

Or maybe a better metaphor (at least for we fair-weather Californians) is an umbrella or rain slicker. You actually doing your creative thing is like taking a walk in the rain. Without the proper gear, it’s just not gonna happen (at least in my world). But with warm clothes, a waterproof layer and a sturdy, wind-proof umbrella, a walk in the rain can be great fun!

You doing your creative thing, once you get going, is way more than great fun. It’s breathing. It’s love.

But you’ve gotta actually do it to get that.

I want this thingy I’m brewing up to help. (Hell, I’m going to use it to help me! That’s where all the daily art I make and the blog posts I write spring from – my desire to inspire myself!) So if you haven’t already let me know in a comment or email what gets in your way, and where you could use a boost, let me know!

Consider the thingy custom-tailored to your special requirements.

And in the meantime, comments on the new site are welcome too!

Have you spent time really looking into that question? Do you know what gives you joy, what makes your soul dance and your heart sing?

And here’s the bigger question: are you doing it?

Because here’s a secret:

Happiness comes from doing

I figured out some time ago that my own happiness rests on two pillars. Let’s start with…

Pillar #1: Expressing myself creatively

It seems obvious now, but I didn’t always know this.

I’ve spent years – decades – shut down from my creativity. The child in me was so stifled I almost forgot she was there.

There was a time the poor thing was so malnourished I truly believed my creativity had been permanently quashed out of me.

I struggled with fear. Resistance. The crippling belief that connecting to my creativity wasn’t important, that it was a waste of time.

And even if it wasn’t a waste of time, surely whatever I might create wouldn’t be any good anyway, so what was the use?

When I look back now, I’m amazed I ever got past all this negative self-talk!

But the drive to create is powerful.

I believe that human beings are wired to create, just as deeply as we’re wired to stay alive.

That hard-wiring drove me forward, and somehow, with a lot of stumbling and bumbling, I managed to find cracks in the blocks in my way and squeeze myself through.

I figured out that expressing myself creativity was not just frivolous; it is an essential part of my happiness.

In other words, happiness comes from doing my creative things.

When I get disconnected from my creativity, I get cranky. If I stay disconnected for long enough, I’ll get depressed.

Life feels flat. Shades of grey, instead of Technicolor.

But as long as I stay connected, as long as I do my creative things – even if that means just dangling a toe in the stream of my creativity – I’m alive. Joyful.

And when I’m connected at my best, I’m on fire!

Think Dorothy in Oz, instead of black & white Kansas.

As I said, though, my happiness rests on two pillars, not just one. Let’s look at…

Pillar #2: Inspiring YOU to create

In addition to my deep need to create, I have a deep need to make a difference.

I have a dream of a world where everyone is in touch with their own creative muse. Where everyone is creating, everyone playing in the Creative Sandbox.

Can you imagine such a world?

I don’t care whether you paint, or dance, or sing, or write, or build atomic models out of Legos.

Whatever is calling to you, I want to see you doing it.

Nutty once called me an Inspirationalist, and it tickled me no end. YES! That’s exactly what I want to be. What I am.

When I get an email or a tweet from a client or reader telling me how much I’ve inspired them, the wattage of my smile could light up San Francisco.

I want to inspire you. I want to use what I’ve learned about getting past my own blocks to help you get past the blocks in your way.

Even the art I’m making in my Creative Sandbox time is all about inspiration.

I want to get you creating!

In fact, I’m working right now on brewing up something to do just that.

I’ve spent the past two weeks immersed in Action Studio, figuring out what my business is all about, and what I want to share with the world.

I’ve figured out that I’m a Creator, first and foremost (not a big surprise), and that getting you creating too is how I most want to change the world.

And here’s where I could use your help.

In order to help get you past your blocks, I want to know what those blocks are.

Where do you get stuck?

What gets in between you and doing your creative thing?

What thoughts or “voices” keep you from creating?

What fears get in your way?

I’m genuinely curious, so please share in the comments below. There are no wrong answers. I truly want to make something that will get you creating, and the more you’re able to share, the more you’ll help me do that.

Watch this space for more info on what I’m brewing up… (And if you want first dibs when the new thing is ready, sign up below to get on my advance list.)

And if this post has inspired you already, go get creating!

I just spent a week in a time machine.

At least that’s how it felt. The past seven days have gone by in a flash, but on the other hand it feels like last Monday was about a month ago.

Why? Well, Monday marked the start of Action Studio, an intensive course with Sinclair of Self-Activator to hone in on your brand and build a new income stream in 30 days.

Since then I’ve been immersed in exercises to discover my primary and secondary brand archetypes (Creator, flavored by Caregiver, Sage, Every Woman and Lover, if you’re curious), and wrap my head around how that applies to my business.

All with the support of the most loving, brilliant community of women + one guy I’ve ever encountered.

Did I mention it’s intense? Let me tell you: it’s intense.

As in epiphanies popping like popcorn. As in rethinking every single thing we’re doing, from the ground up. As in “cast members” regularly admitting to liberal doses of tears in between the excited revelations.

Yep, major shifts are happening, and it’s a glory to behold.

Want the inside scoop? Check out the gossip from the set, posted Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays by three of my amazingly talented fellow cast members over at the Action Studio site.

The downside of popcorn epiphanies

All this intensity has me bouncing off the walls with excitement as I bubble over with a new sense of clarity of purpose, direction, and ideas.

It also has me utterly exhausted, because when I get in a super-creative phase like this, my insomnia kicks in.

Insomnia. Sucks.

Sometimes, however, exhaustion is a gift. Kinda like getting walloped upside the head with a 2×4 by the Universe is a gift, if you’re willing to take the lesson such wallops are there to teach.

In this case, I’m getting clear that the overextended schedule I’ve been scrambling to keep up with is simply unsustainable.

Yes, I like being engaged in lots of projects. Yes, I prefer being busy to being bored, but this is ridiculous.

So tonight I made some decisions that have been brewing for months. Decisions I’ve been in conflict about, not yet ready to implement.

All of them aligned with my new, clearer-than-ever understanding of exactly what I want to be doing and with/for whom.

Do you know what it feels like to stand on bedrock? To stand right in your sweet spot?

Thanks to a mere week in Action Studio, that’s where I am on the inside. Finally.

It feels amazing.

Now my job is to bring my outside into alignment with my inside. In other words, I have a lot of work to do.

And given that I already have more work on my plate than any sane human would try to juggle at one time, it’s really, really clear that something has to give.

Destruction makes space for generation

Letting go of something (“destroying”) is always hard, even when you know it’s to make space for a bigger dream. But when your goal is to live the life you really, really want, not just the close-but-not-quite life, it’s gotta happen.

The only way to rock out the great is to let go of the good, dump the “almost right but not exactly.”

Scary, and painful, but true.

So watch for changes in this space.

And now I’m off to see if this is the night I finally beat the insomnia dragon. Hold a good thought…

Scene: A dark restaurant. New Orleans. Heart of the French Quarter.

The food was outstanding (accompanied by the lazy ritual of watching filtered water drip through a sugar cube to opalesce a glass of absinthe). The ambiance romantic (we sat side by side and gazed down the bar from inside the three walls of a private booth). The waiter was the right blend of friendly and discreet (and even sported a classic New Orleans accent).

The Bombay Club was a find, but the real reason we ended up there was because in my sweetie’s cursory search on his iPhone for a good dinner spot, it was the first to advertise live jazz.

Last Tuesday night this turned out to be the stylings of vocalist/pianist Amanda Walker, the jewel in the Bombay Club’s ambiance crown.

We tipped her on the way out, but as the door closed behind me I paused.

Creative abundance requires courage

If I didn’t want to live with regret, it was time to screw my courage to the sticking point.

“Just a minute,” I said to my sweetie, and went back inside, heart pounding.

“I’m a singer too,” I told Amanda, who had just finished a song. “We’re visiting from California, and I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your music.”

Thus began a little friendly conversation. A simple thing, but a challenge for this still-sometimes-shy native-introvert.

Creative abundance requires courage.

CDs were exchanged (jazz singers, I’ve found, tend to be a friendly and generous tribe). “Too bad you didn’t tell me earlier,” Amanda said, “I’d have let you sit in.”

Then: “Actually, you can sit in right now if you want.”

90 seconds later I made my New Orleans debut.

To an audience of about six people – plus waitstaff and my sweetie – but hell, I still played New Orleans. And those few minutes are one of my best memories of my first visit there.

All because I took a risk.

Creative abundance requires courage

Every time I post a blog I run the risk of people not liking it, unsubscribing, or worst of all, deciding I’m boring.

Every time I put a piece up for sale or show, or send out my not-quite daily ArtFix newsletter, I run the risk of a negative response, or worse, no response at all.

Every time I get up in front of an audience to sing and make them laugh, I wonder if all the other times were flukes, and this time I’ll fall on my face. Or hear the sound of crickets.

It’s scary shit, this putting-yourself-out-there thing.

But consider the alternative. Do I really want a small life, keeping my gifts entirely to myself? Do you?

The only way to grow, to vibrate at the creative abundance I desire, is to take the risk.

Jump.

When I look back on my life so far, I have no regrets about the times I jumped; only about the times I didn’t.

Creative abundance requires courage

So tell me, what step are you taking today to live your own creative abundance?

In all the hustle and bustle, I forgot I was a musician.

This is what happens when you’ve got multiple Blisses.

Or at least it’s what happens to me. I learned years ago (thank god) that trying to do all of my Blisses full-steam-ahead all the time doesn’t work, so instead I allow them to cycle around at will.

It’s really the only way to stay sane, if you’re me. But the downside is that when one of my Blisses is simmering on the back burner, sometimes I forget that, oh, yeah, I’m actually really good at this thing and totally in love with it!

That’s what gigs are for: to remind me.

Take last night. I performed with my 3 partners in crime, Cathi Walkup, Leanne Weatherly and Jennifer Lee, in what I think was the 5th of our Women of Song (formerly Ladies of Jazz) concerts. This time at an amazing house concert venue in Oakland called Avonova.

The Women of Song concerts are done not-quite “in the round”, each artist taking turns to sing a few songs at a time — 3 songs in the first set and 2 more after the break (all original material, by the way – we’re all singer/songwriters). At the very end the four of us do closing number together – so far it’s always been Bye, Bye Blackbird – where we each get a chance to stretch out in an improv solo, finishing up with some group harmony.

It’s a lot of fun, and with the four of us (and our four individual mailing lists) we have a lot more draw than I’d have doing a show on my own. Although my mailing list is over 550 people at this point, you’d be surprised how hard it is to fill a room.

Plus, although we’re all really more influenced by jazz than rock-and-roll, these women ROCK. I feel incredibly honored to be included among such talented musicians and songwriters. We’re all very different from each other, but with complementary styles.

In other words, it’s a solid show.

The response from attendees is always great. I get new fans at each concert – people coming up to give me heartfelt thanks, which always touches me; people raving about my “comedy act” and telling me I should get into the comedy club circuit; and last night one guy, who’s a songwriter himself and moving to Nashville, actually told me that my not being in Nashville is a travesty.

This does not suck.

I’m all for developing independence from external validation, but the fact is, when people respond enthusiastically to your work, it makes a difference.

It validates that what you’re doing is important. It encourages you to persevere. It reinforces that yes, you are supposed to be doing this thing.

This is one reason why I feel it’s so important for creatives to share what they do with the world.

For many of us, the majority of the time we spend doing our art is in isolation. We may get into the flow, feel deeply connected to our creativity, to Spirit, to… something.

But human beings are social creatures, and without a connection to other people, something is lost.

This is exactly why I started my not-quite Daily Artfix newsletter. I knew intuitively that sharing my work, getting responses from other people, was somehow important.

I was right. Just the act of creating the newsletter and sending my work out into the ether — even without knowing for sure if anyone would look at it — affected my sense of myself as an artist. And though nothing is as powerful as an in-person connection (as at a gig!) the emails I get in response to my not-quite Daily Artfix dispatches energize me to keep doing it.

I’ve made my living from my art for years, and still this is important!

Every new creative thing you try is like a fragile child you’re sending off to school for the first time. No, it’s like sending your own soul off to school for the first time.

What will it be like? Will anyone like me? Will people pick on me? Will I be safe?

Yes, I make my living from my art, but I still have these fears. Besides, the art I make my living from, my ketubah art, is a totally different form, different style, different everything. Plus it’s frequently created to the specifications of my clients — I know they’re going to like it before it’s even done, because it’s exactly what they’ve directed me to create.

Now I’m finally expressing what I want to create. And feedback from people who resonate with it helps my scared inner artist child know that it’s safe to keep putting it out there.

And it is scary. I know it’s scary. It’s scary for me every single time.

But it’s also important.

Artists must not only do; they must also share.

Well, of course they don’t have to, but what a loss when they don’t. Kathryn Siranosian recently wrote about an astonishing and tragic case of talent going unshared over at 365 Days of Genius, called Don’t Be A Lost Linchpin.

The title says it all.

Now, this is obviously not in danger of happening in my life — I love the limelight way too much for that! But even so, there was some block keeping me from putting my art out there in a big way. And busting that block, getting a newsletter out and my new artwork up for show and sale on my website was a powerful act.

Whether you’re a musician, a visual artist, an actor, a comedian, a writer or any other kind of creative, sharing your art with the world establishes to you that yes, you are an artist.

So what’s stopping you?

–

You may have noticed that the Weekly Review went AWOL. If you were wondering why, here’s the story. (And no, the Weekly Review did not get drunk and stumble back to the base with a tattoo it didn’t remember getting. Though that would have made for a good story.)

–

Question: Have you ever had way too much to do and not enough time to do it?

Err.. Let me rephrase that.

When you have way too much to do and not enough time to do it, what do you do?

Aside from feeling stressed out and running around like a chicken with its head cut off, that is.

If you’re smart, you probably prioritze.

I call it Business & Life Triage.

I look at my list of urgent stuff to get done like an ER doctor looks at incoming wounded, then tackle the critical ones first (assuming they’re the most likely to survive, of course) and leave the rest to languish until I can get to them.

Sometimes B&L Triage is pretty easy. Migraines tend to trump everything, which is what happened Sunday night when I finally turned to the Weekly Review.

That doesn’t, of course, explain the Weekly Review still being AWOL on Monday.

Ah, triage.

It’s frustrating at best, and definitely not a good long-term way to exist. And since I seem to keep adding items to my ongoing task list, one of my big priorities lately has been to move as many tasks as possible off of my own plate and on to someone else’s.

In other words, delegating. To (get this) an assistant!

Or, more precisely, a Virtual Assistant.

That word may as well be gold-plated, it has felt like such an out-of-reach treasure for so long. But a couple of months ago I started paying my 365 Days of Genius partner’s VA (short for Virtual Assistant), Katy, to do the data entry for the daily “Genius Resources” on that site.

The up-front costs (aside from cash)

This tactic was not without its challenges. I had to put time in on the “front end,” setting up a system to capture the info I needed to load and get that info to Katy (for which I discovered an amazing new technology called a “spreadsheet – maybe you’ve heard of it?) And since I hadn’t been using this system from the start, I had to change my workflow.

At first, all of this required more work from me as I scrambled like mad to get all the necessary info filled in for months of resources.

But, here’s the beauty: once I’d established the system and put my virtual assistant to work, my workload dramatically decreased.

Ahhhh!

All the time I’d been spending loading stuff onto the site? I could now use that time for other stuff.

Stuff I’d not only rather do, but that the Universe would really much rather I do – my special gifts. Stuff that only I can do. Like making my art, writing my writing, recording interviews, working with my clients.

A taste is not enough

Loading the daily Genius Resource links for 365 DofG was time-consuming, but in fact it only made up a tiny fraction of the time-sucking things that have to get done in order to keep the engine of my business humming along.

For a long time I felt stuck around delegating more work, though.

How could I spend more money on getting help with my triage – most of which is stuff that doesn’t directly produce income – when what I needed was to make more money?

Sometimes I’m a little slow. A little resistant. I confess that things often have to get really bad before I finally wake up to reality.

In this case, it took the launching of my new not-quite Daily ArtFix newsletter. Suddenly I had created for myself a whole series of new tasks that had to get done almost every day: putting my art up on my site, scheduling listings of the originals for sale on EBay, scheduling the actual newsletter to send out to my list.

What was I thinking?

When was I going to have time to work with clients, write new content, create the stuff I’ve been brewing behind the scenes, and make my art (let alone exercise, sleep and eat)?!

The old, poverty-mindset me would have said, “Oh my god, this is too much!” and simply dropped the newsletter idea as unmanageable.

The new, big-thinking, creative-abundance-mindset me said, “Oh my god, this is too much! I need help!”

Sure, paying for help felt scary, but when I looked at the amount of time it would liberate for me to work on creating more value – value that would ultimately make me more money – it was a no-brainer.

That doesn’t mean it wasn’t still scary, because it was.

It is.

But scary doesn’t mean bad. It just takes some getting used to.

Getting around internal roadblocks

Never having delegated ongoing tasks before, I had to overcome some internal resistance. What if she did it wrong? What if she isn’t reliable?

I had to keep reminding myself of the payoff: that the more time I liberate from the drudge work that anyone can do, the more time I have to spend on the high-value stuff that only I can do.

Granted, I still had to put a ton of time into setting up the systems in order to be able to delegate: I had to create a method for holding and organizing the data to be entered (did I mention that amazing technology, the spreadsheet?) And I had to train my virtual assistant on exactly how to enter it on the various sites.

Thank god for Camtasia, my video-creation software! Since Katy’s on the other side of the world, I recorded several videos of me walking through & narrating every step of every task I needed help with.

This helped me clarify in my own mind exactly what needed to be done, and showed me additional fields I needed to add to my growing spreadsheet.

Within a few days, the first “trial” batch of tasks was ready. I sent them to Katy (only later remembering to set up sharing in the Google docs so she could get to the data! Doh!)

Quick as a bunny, Katy loaded up my stuff. Now, the next step: reviewing her work.

I was pleased to see that she’d done a great job. Just a few things were not exactly as I wanted them, so I emailed notes, with illustrative screenshots, and we were off to the races!

I have a virtual assistant!

Yep, suddenly, after years of longing for one, and putting a little time and effort in at the front end, I actually have an assistant!

And here’s the most beautimous thing: now that I have a virtual assistant, I keep thinking of new tasks I can delegate to her.

It’s kind of addictive.

Plus I’m seeing how I might delegate other tasks, for which she’s not qualified, to someone else who is.

Did somebody say “leveling up”?

That’s exactly what I’m doing here, and it feels great.

And speaking of leveling up…

If getting going with an honest-to-god virtual assistant is Phase One of leveling up, Phase Two is something else that’s been brewing recently: working with a mentor to help me power forward.

In the past year of blogging, I’ve sought out people ahead of me on the path whom I could learn from. I’ve downloaded more free resources than I can count. I’ve bought several excellent paid resources (the Empire Building Kit, Question the Rules, Engaging E-Courses, a bunch of Dave Navarro’s stuff, to name a few). I’ve taken advantage of free consulting from Catherine Caine, Jenny Bones, Lee Stranahan, Michael Martine, Peter Shallard and Sinclair, among others. (And why yes, I’m affiliates for all of the courses mentioned above. And the lovely Ms. Catherine Caine. I’d be affiliates for the others, because they all ROCK, but I don’t think they have general affiliate programs. Just sayin’.)

All of these have been more than great. They’ve each been stepping stones on my journey to where I am now.

And now I’m ready to take it up a notch.

I’ve known for awhile that I would eventually want to work with someone more closely, and this week I actually took the leap.

A little before I was prepared to, but that often how these things go.

Whom did I choose?

The first consulting session I can remember having was just about a year ago, with Sinclair. I remember sobbing into the phone, knowing I wanted to get… somewhere… but not entirely sure where.

I wanted what she had: confidence, clarity, and the ability to make a difference for other people.

At the time, I think she was charging $180/hour.

Now she offers intensive month-long mentorships, to the tune of $6,000.

She’s grown from a $100,000 business last year, to a $250,000 business this year.

All without a whiff of spamminess.

That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

So when Sinclair sent her list the info for a free coaching call, I jumped with both feet. And when at the end of the (awesome) call she offered a steep discount on a 3-hour intensive with her, I gritted my teeth and handed over my credit card.

And when she invited me to be an affiliate and offered me early entrance into the upcoming session of Action Studio, I jumped again.

Now listen up

Not only will I be sharing my experiences with Sinclair and Action Studio over the next several weeks, but on Thursday, I’ll be interviewing Sinclair (who will reveal some secrets from the set of Action Studio). AND I’ll be opening the phones up for questions too.

From YOU, that is!

Yep, we’ll talk about creative, profitable biz-building – how to be more authentic than ever and build your business around that.

Not much cooler than that!

Again, that call will be:

Thursday, April 28
5pm Pacific (that’s 8pm Eastern)

Want in? Just sign up below and I’ll email you the dial-in info.

Oh, and one more thing: if Action Studio feels like a good fit for you and you decide to join me in this session, I’ll actually sweeten the deal and give you a free year of access to the Thriving Artists Project ($97 value) and a 60-minute consulting session with me ($150 value). That’s almost $250 of rock-your-creative-business value on top of the supercharging you’ll get from Action Studio.

The catch? You just need to make sure you use my affiliate link to sign up for Action Studio in order to get the bonuses.

Can’t wait!

So how’m I doing in my quest to re-invent my life, follow my evolving Blisses and create the life I really, really want?

Talk about creative abundance: on Monday I interviewed artist and shaman Laura Hollick, of Soul Art Studio, for the Thriving Artists Project, and added yet another shining star to my growing constellation of impressive role models.

In fact, Laura found me, rather than the other way around. She stumbled across the Thriving Artists Project website, saw that we are doing the same thing in our own unique ways, and reached out to say hello. We made a date, shared stories on Skype a few days later, and I knew I had to interview her for TAP!

(That interview did not disappoint – Laura’s story of going from poverty and “starving artist” thinking, to a job as a letter carrier, and ultimately to wild success as an artist and shaman, a 3,000 square foot studio, a worldwide following and a thriving income is gripping and inspiring. TAP members, watch for it soon!)

A Brief Review of the Comparison Trap

Often when I look at someone who’s steps ahead of me in creating their vision and developing their business, as Laura is, I find myself caught in the Comparison Trap. Envy, that familiar green face, rears its ugly head, and I inevitably feel badly about myself for not making as much money/being as prolific/having as large a following/being as successful/[insert envied thing here] as the person I admire.

Since my entree to the Blogosphere just over a year ago, I’ve intentionally sought out role models to help direct me, putting myself in a prime position to be caught in the Comparison Trap, consumed with envy and bad feelings. When I set about to create the Thriving Artists Project, my opportunities for getting trapped increased even more, as I regularly found new thriving artists to interview.

Don’t get me wrong – doing the interviews has been an extremely effective way to get to know more about other thrivers, learn their secrets and new tricks to apply to my own business and life. It’s been a huge boon, and given me exactly what I’d hoped it would: inspiration and real-life role models.

But sometimes I’ve still found myself dragged down by the Comparison Trap.

“I should be doing things like [Blogger X].”

“No, wait, I want to be like [Artist Y]. That’s how I should do things.”

“Damn, I wish I were as successful as [Life Coach Z]. I need to be more like her.”

“Ooh.. I love how [Slasher Q] combines her blogging, art and coaching! She’s the one I want to emulate!”

Of course I emulate aspects of each of them – that’s why they’re role models – but much as I might envy a given person’s success and want to copy it for myself, one thing I’ve always known is that, in fact, I’m not copying someone else’s model, nor do I want to.

I am creating my own, unique model, and the more I can vibrate at my own energy and create a model that’s uniquely mine, the more I will attract the people who resonate with me.

Building My Constellation

So yes, I do want to emulate my role models. I just don’t want to try to be a carbon copy of any of them.

What I really want is to emulate bits and pieces of each of them. And it felt to me like some kind of concrete… thingy… might help with that.

So here’s what I did:

Tuesday morning, while writing in my journal, I decided to put all of my heroes into a sort of mind map, in order to see all of them in one place. In woo-woo terminology, every one of the people I admire is vibrating at a different energy. A unique color, let’s say. When I look at them one at a time, I automatically start vibrating to match that particular color. (In non-woo-woo terminology, I start thinking I need to do things their way, try to be more like them.)

But that color isn’t actually my color vibration, it’s theirs. And when I vibrate too intensely at that color (which happens a lot if I’m operating out of envy!), it’s all too easy for me to forget that there are other colors that make up my personal spectrum too.

All of this may sound very abstract (and yes, woo-woo – gotta love it), but here’s what I did to make it concrete: I wrote in the center of the page:

“People who are doing their own version of what I’m doing, very successfully, a few steps ahead of me, and whose energy I want to match.” (Or, in non-woo-woo terminology, people whose business models I admire and want to emulate.)

I drew a box around that statement, and in the space surrounding that box I proceeded to write the name of every role model I could think of.

The very act of creating this mind map – my Constellation of Role Models – shifted something for me. (There’s a reason human beings have created rituals since before recorded history: they’re powerful, and they work. Not necessarily in a The Secret I-think-certain-thoughts-and-the-world-changes-for-me kind of way, but in a my-inner-world-changes-for-me kind of way.)

Suddenly, with all of my role models on a single sheet of paper, I could see the entire constellation in one place. If I imagined that each of them was vibrating at their own color, for the first time I was able to see the whole spectrum.

And seeing the spectrum laid out on the page (even though I didn’t actually color them in – it’s an imagination thing, see?) allowed me to hum at my own vibration, while drawing energy and inspiration from each of them, no one of them dominating my vision.

Instead of comparing myself negatively, from a place of envy, something about seeing 21 different names on the page allowed me to feel inspired. Inspired in a multitude of different ways from this diverse group.

Here’s another metaphor (for those who relate better to food than astral bodies)

(Because one can never have too many metaphors. Plus I’m hungry.)

“I’m creating my very own brew,” I wrote in my journal. And the individuals floating around the perimeter of my Role Model Constellation mind map are ingredients that contribute different flavorings to the soup.

I haven’t decided whether they’re vegetables that go into the stock, or spices that go into the soup.

But that’s neither here no there. The point is, I figured out a way to turn the Comparison Trap into a source of strength. And that’s pretty cool, if I do say so myself.

–

Who are your role models and heroes? Do they inspire you, make you envious, or both? If they make you envious, have you found a positive way to deal with that feeling?

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Photo by ganesha.isis at Flickr

So how’m I doing in my quest to re-invent my life, follow my evolving Blisses and create the life I really, really want?

–

The email started like this:

Hi Melissa,
One year ago, we began a journey together. You signed up for the Empire Building Kit and joined the longest email follow-up sequence in history.

By doing so, you self-identified as a dreamer and a doer. Now as we come to the close of the formal series, I’m wondering… How has the journey been thus far? Compared to one year ago, how is your business now?

It landed in my inbox yesterday, exactly one year – 365 days to the day – after I bought Chris Guillebeau’s Empire Building Kit (affiliate link), affectionately known as the EBK. The final email in Chris’s 365-day autoresponder series.

One year.

A month into the EBK I wrote a review, giving it 4 7/8 out of 5 stars (not a full 5 only because the emails didn’t all exactly match up to my expectations that every single dispatch would include a specific step to take). If anything I only think more highly of it now.

A year later, thanks to the EBK I sit at the helm of my multi-million dollar internet empire.

Kidding. Oh, so kidding.

But.

If I stop looking forward, at where I want to be, and take a moment to look back at what I have achieved in the past 365 days, the truth is it’s a lot. I’m proud and pleased. And yes, the EBK has been a significant element. Not the only one, by any means, but a resource I will definitely return to again and again. One with real-world practical tips and inspiration that actually translate (or will, when I’m at the appropriate stage to implement each particular one) into a better bottom line. And a “lifestyle business” doing what I love.

And that is nothing to sneeze at.

The EBK was one of my major inspirations (along with Question the Rules and Engaging E-Courses [affiliate links], to name but two) to create my own online course, the Thriving Artists Project. And “traveling” along with Chris for a year was a tremendous value in itself. He unknowingly inspired me to start this blog, and continues to be a huge inspiration. A personal hero.

I’m going to miss seeing him in my inbox every day.

Growth and change

But I’m in a different place now than I was when I bought the EBK, with a clearer vision and a straighter path. I’ve figured out a number of pretty important things in the past year:

• One of the primary pillars of my happiness comes from expressing myself creatively, preferably on a daily basis
• Another comes from helping others, especially helping others to express themselves creatively
• Being multi-passionate is hard-wired into my being, and while I acknowledge the challenges this creates, I also embrace the wonderfulness it brings me
• The more in alignment I get with my true gifts, the more easily everything flows
• My path is different from anyone else’s, and just as valid, no matter how impatient I might be for it to move more quickly
• Love doesn’t always happen by falling; sometimes it creeps up on you

How far I’ve come

A year ago I sobbed into the phone during a 1/2 hour consultation with the brilliant Sinclair (still one of my heroes). I felt lost, unclear, vaguely desperate. I wanted to have what she had: clarity, direction, a thriving business making a difference for other people by using her true gifts.

Today I coach and give consults myself, and am blessed with the most lovely, glowing testimonials from the wonderful, creative people I’m privileged to work with.

After years of making a living from my art, but almost never creating any new art (except at my heavenly annual retreat with my calligraphy guild), I’m now in the practice of playing in the Creative Sandbox for at least 15 minutes every day. I’m more prolific than I’ve ever been, and I’m getting my art out into the world where others can enjoy it, both here in my online art galleries, and in my not-quite Daily ArtFix newsletter.

I’ve built a growing following by sharing myself here at Living A Creative Life (I love you, my not-so-imaginary-any-more readers!), and I’ve expanded my network even further with my other blog, 365 Days of Genius, where I have the great pleasure of featuring the work of other writers. (And have discovered yet another gift: who knew I was a good editor? Turns out I really enjoy it! Interested in guest posting? I’d love to have you! Read this.)

Miles to go before I sleep

There’s still so much more I have yet to accomplish. We won’t dwell on the fact that my studio is only slightly less cluttered than it was 365 days ago. Or that I haven’t managed to cure myself of the tendency to stay up waaaaaaaaay too late and take on waaaaaaaay too much. Or that my mountain of debt is still mountainous.

Ah, well. It’s like traveling somewhere far away. There’s never enough time to see everything you want to, but then that gives you a reason to go back.

If we stick with that metaphor (which I grant you is a little awkward here, but bear with me), it’s a good thing I’m a member of Chris Guillebeau’s latest stroke of brilliance, the Travel Hacking Cartel (affiliate link), because I’m gonna have to buy a whole lotta return tickets to get where I want to go, so I can use all the frequent flyer miles I can get! (Okay, still an awkward metaphor. Oh, well.)

The moving target

12 years ago, in the middle of my divorce, my goal was just to make enough money to get by. I’ve since busted the glass ceiling that made me think that was all that was within my reach.

Turns out I’m an ambitious one after all.

The internet empire I sit at the helm of may not be a multi-million dollar one… yet. But you never know. I have no doubt that it will grow a helluva lot bigger than it is right now.

And in the meantime, I’m sure as hell enjoying the ride.

PS – I’ll be at Chris Guillebeau’s World Domination Summit in Portland the first weekend in June. Will you be there? If so, let’s meet up!