What did your parents model to you about creative Bliss?

Was it seen as important? Or an impossibility, to be shoved aside and boxed away, in favor of more “practical” things?

There’s a legend in my family that when my parents met, my father wanted to be an actor, but that he closed the door on that dream when my mom said she wouldn’t marry someone with the kind of unstable income that an acting career was sure to bring.

How serious my dad was about pursuing the acting bug that bit him in college I’ll never know. Maybe it was a passing phase. Maybe he would have been happier doing community theater and making his income elsewhere anyway. I know he loved the high-tech career he went on to build, and I certainly had a more stable home life with an engineer/systems analyst father than I imagine I would have had with an actor father.

And yet.

What do we model for our children when we “reneg on our gifts,” as my friend B puts it? Her own mother only pursued her inborn talent for art once the kids were all grown and gone, and I could name several other friends off the top of my head whose parents closed the door on their creative dreams in order to support their families.

What message does that kind of self-denial give to a child with a burning hunger to create?

Understand that I’m not casting blame or judgement on any of the adults who made decisions they saw as necessary to support their families. We’re dealt the hand we’re dealt, and we can each only do what we think is right at any given moment.

I am, however, asking us — now — to think about it.

Many of us have the luxury to create lives our parents and grandparents couldn’t have dreamed of. My immigrant great-grandparents escaped pogroms, sailed in steerage across the Atlantic and struggled to survive in a new world so that their children would have a better life. Generations later, I’m grateful for the opportunities in my world that have allowed me to focus on building a business that sustains me financially, nourishes me creatively, and also changes the world.

Imagine!

Time, place and good fortune have made it a helluva lot easier for me to follow my Bliss than it was for my antecedents.

Although “the economy” is in the dumps and this is perhaps the first generation that hasn’t almost automatically surpassed their parents’ standard of living, we still have opportunities that simply didn’t exist for my ancestors in the shtetl.

For most of us, the path to following your Bliss has never been more accessible.

For many people nowadays, at least those with the resources to read a post like this, what’s really getting in the way is not drought, or famine, or living in a war zone, it’s mindset.

The idea that we don’t deserve to pursue our creative passions. Or that doing so is frivolous and unimportant.

If that wasn’t what we were told in words, it’s often what we were told in actions.

Now let me ask you: if the adults in your life boxed up their dreams, imagine, how might your life might be different now if you’d witnessed them making time and space to follow their Bliss instead?

It must be said that a parent who follows her or his Bliss to the exclusion of effectively caring for their family is no better a model than one who closes the door on that Bliss entirely. But there has to be a balance, don’t you think?

–

This is on my mind today because of an email I received from a friend.

A little background:

A couple of weeks ago, in this post, I introduced my friend and business partner, Kelly Hevel, and announced that we’ll be co-teaching a week-long creativity retreat in Istanbul (yes, as in Turkey!) in the fall, and a 12-week online course coming up later this month, Playing Around Online (starting February 29!).

We also announced a contest to win a scholarship to do Playing Around Online for free — all that was required to enter was to answer a survey as to time and logistical preferences, and answer the question “Why do you want to win the scholarship spot?”

The response was terrific, and the scholarship entries were all so wonderful it was really hard to pick! Among the entrants were several clients I’ve absolutely adored working with, friends from the online world, and friends from the 3-D world.

The truth is, I wanted all of them in the course!

But we’re running a business, not a charity, and our goal for Playing Around Online is to make money while we make a difference, so that we can do even more cool stuff to change the world. So we gritted our teeth and determined to limit the winner to one.

[Note: There will actually be a second opportunity to win a scholarship to Playing Around Online, plus other ways to potentially do the course for free, so be sure to subscribe using the form at the upper right and stay tuned!]

Ultimately, we chose the person whose entry most spoke to us as embodying the qualities we’re most looking for in our class participants, including:

• A positive outlook
• Readiness for transformation and change
• A sense of 100% responsibility for their own happiness
• Self-awareness
• A big creative hunger

Here’s the winning entry, from Christine:

It would be so cool to see what my life would be like during the 12 week journey. I am a full-time mum, an emerging full-time artist desperately trying to absorb everything out there in cyberspace to be successful while trying to find what kind of artist I’m going to be. To actually commit to “play” for that length of time. I have a hard time “playing” as my days are so structured trying to manage family, daily paintings, and coming up with a style to jump off from and produce a killer body of work, (I’m taking myself waaaay to seriously!) and I think it would force me to loosen up (omg! scary thought!) and remember why I got a second chance in life to rediscover my first love of making art and not caring who likes it or buys it. :)

Kelly and I loved that Christine is already imagining how her life will be changed by the course. That she’s working hard to figure out what she needs to figure out. That she knows she has a hard time playing and is ready to change that. That she understands the importance of making art for the love of it, even while she’s trying to figure out how to make a living from it.

I don’t actually care whether Christine — or anyone — wants to be an artist, or make a living from their art.

And to be clear, Playing Around Online is most definitely NOT limited to artists! As it says on our not-quite-live website,

We know you are supposed to “target your niche”, but really, Playing Around Online is for everybody! If you are interested in making art, or exploring your creativity, and you’re ready for some transformation, you are hereby given permission to come. No expertise required.

We aim to create a safe place to create, period. These are not master classes and the focus is not on perfecting your technique. Our name pretty much says it all, we want you to play and if you want us, we want you!

Please note: experienced artists and creators are welcome as well. We think everyone should take some time to play.

So, no, it doesn’t matter to me whether you want to make art, or make a living from that art. What I care deeply about is that she (and YOU, and everyone) follows her creative Bliss, whatever that Bliss might be.

What prompted me to share this today was an email from another entrant, and friend of mine:

So glad to read that a busy and full-time mum is giving herself permission to follow her art, and that she won! A mother (or father) who follows her (his) bliss is a MODEL for her child/children. Her/his following her/his passion speaks volumes to a child.

Amen.

It moved me so much that this person, who also really wanted that free scholarship, could look past the fact that she didn’t win, and celebrate how wonderful it is that the person who did win will model for her kids the importance of keeping your Bliss at the center of your life.

Yes!

I don’t have children, but I know that following my passion speaks volumes to those who know me, regardless of their age. It’s ultimately the reason why this blog exists.

And I intend to keep doing it.

Now your turn. What do you think? Did your parents follow their own Blisses? How did their model affect your mindset about your creative passions? And what are you doing now to feed your own creative hunger and follow your Bliss(es)?

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

If January is any indicator, this year is going to whiz by. It feels like I just made my first #12in12 commitment, and boom — we’re at the end of the month!

To recap, inspired by this post by Jacqueline, I’ve committed to taking on a new challenge every month of this year. It may be a goal I’d like to integrate as a permanent habit, or it may be something I’m trying out just for the month.

Either way, you’re invited to join me!

For January, I took on two big commitments, one very publicly, and one which started as a stealth challenge, and then later became public.

Let’s review!

Commitment 1: The Great Bedtime Experiment

My challenge was to get to bed every night this month by 11pm. Lights out.

Given that my previous M.O. was 2am (or later), this represented a pretty radical behavior change. Honestly, I was not sure I could do it. I’d tried — and failed — to move my bedtime up many times in the past, and knew that this could be just one more failure in my logbook.

So, how’s it going?

I’m truly delighted to report that the Great Bedtime Experiment is going glowingly! It has had, however, some rather surprising results!

Unexpected Results: Increased Stress!

I was surprised and rather amused that the first few days of the GBE actually increased my stress level.

Huh?

Previously, if I didn’t finish everything on my to-do list, I’d just stay up later. There seemed to be no real “end” to my day. Of course I’d always get to bed eventually, but my perception of my day was that it was kind of limitless.

Not done? Just keep working!

This vicious cycle kept me up late most nights, which left me wrecked the next day, which was, of course, the big impetus to try a new, more self-compassionate way.

Now that I “had” to get to bed by 11pm, suddenly my work days had a “hard end” to them. I couldn’t just keep going like the Energizer Bunny, and that knowledge stressed me the hell out for a few days. All day long I’d be anxiously watching the clock, knowing I had to get X, Y and Z done, and myself into bed, by 11:00.

But of course it was just a head game. The reality is, I never got everything on my list done, no matter how late I stayed up. Now I was just more conscious of prioritizing. More mindful of having to let stuff go for now.

That unexpected rise in anxiety only lasted a few days, as I mentioned, and then I experienced an energetic shift that felt quite easy and natural. I actually took to the new regime quite happily, which was something of a surprise since previous attempts at earlier bedtimes had always resulted in such dismal failure.

Anticipated Results: Better Prioritizing!

Several times in the past 4 weeks (practically daily, in fact), I’ve had to let go of something I’d wanted to get done because it was time to shut down. Without the Great Bedtime Experiment commitment, I would have kept going — and suffered for it the next day. Instead, I was able to see that all that suffering simply wasn’t worth it. Very few things, it turns out, are really that urgent, no matter how much they might feel like they are.

(Granted, I didn’t have any major product launches or big client deadlines — thank god — so my resolve has not yet been tested as strongly as it might have been… and probably will be at some point…)

Blog post not done? ArtSpark* not loaded and scheduled? You know what, that sucks, and it’s definitely not good to not maintain consistency, but I made the decision that my priority is health and sanity — I’m on the Way of the Peaceful Entrepreneur, after all. Nobody was gonna die (always the ultimate gauge of relative importance), so I went to bed.

And life went on.

Lo and behold, with a “hard end” to my day, my ability to prioritize has (largely) gotten better! And my ability to just let stuff go altogether is improving too, which is, of course, part of my ultimate goal of living a more humane, Self-Compassionate life.

So yay me!

Anticipated Results: Melissa Pushes the Limits!

I confess I have (not surprisingly) learned exactly how far I can push the end of my day and still follow the letter (if not the spirit) of the “law.” I originally set my ideal computer shut-down time as 9:30, or 10:00pm at the latest. That allows for a gentle, meandering wind-down, plenty of time to do my getting-ready-for-bed ritual and toilet (said in a French accent) in a relaxing manner. Even engage in some pillow talk with lights out well before 11:00, and sleep soon thereafter.

More common lately, I’ll confess, is a rushed 10:30 (or later!) shut-down, which has me racing to beat the clock into bed and still fussing with my iPhone after I’ve achieved a “technical” lights-out (but not devices out).

Yeah, skirting the rules, for sure, and I know it! I’m thinking it would be a good idea to set my Mac to automatically shut down at 10:15, or even 10:00, instead of 10:30. (Turns out the Mac gives you a 9 minute grace period. And fyi, it isn’t truly an auto shut down, because most of the programs I run have to be manually quit out of, otherwise they’ll prevent the computer from shutting down.)

So, I’ve learned (or relearned what I already knew) that I’ll push the limits. Better, then, to hem those limits in a bit, I think…

Other results: No Cures, but Improved Quality of Life Nonetheless

Though I was hoping the Great Bedtime Experiment would cure my tendency toward insomnia and migraines, I’ve had no such luck. It doesn’t seem to have affected them one way or another. But, on a positive note, the insomniac attacks have not left me as utterly destroyed as in the past. I’m still exhausted and tired, but before the GBE I was wrecked. And virtually guaranteed a migraine sometime during the week.

Now, even if I’m awake for 4 hours in the middle of the night, the very fact that I got to bed earlier in the first place has established a foundation of sleep that my body likes much, much better. Tired, yes; utterly destroyed, no.

So that’s an improvement.

The Upshot

I LOVE this new way of being (which, by the way, is also helping me open up to taking time for R&R in other ways — a good thing!), and fully intend to continue with my 11pm lights-out general rule going forward.

Commitment 2: Daily Clutter-Busting

Tackling my long-held clutter issue started as a stealth commitment. I decided to try out doing one thing to bust clutter every day, and just see how it went. No need, I figured, to broadcast to the world that oy vey I would really like to clear up my clutter problem!!!

So I’d do it quietly.

I’ve tried similar projects in the past, but never managed to keep it up. This time, though, my persistence has been nothing short of miraculous.

What helped?

First, rather than set a daily time commitment (ie, 15 minutes a day), I made my commitment to “do one thing.” Sometimes my “thing” was tiny, like sorting and filing all the papers in a small pile, and sometimes it was more dramatic, like purging an entire drawer or cupboard, but making the discrete commitment requirement open-ended like this seems to work better for me.

I also intentionally made my clutter-busting commitment just for the month of January. I will absolutely be re-upping at the end of the month (and I expect to do so every month throughout the year), but rather than making my initial commitment indefinite (which makes it feel overwhelming, annoying and downright painful), I’m taking it one month at a time (which makes it feel more like a fun game!)

Meanwhile, once I’d had a week or so of experiencing some real positive change, I decided to pull out another tool that I know from experience is always helpful for me: the power of community.

Let me back up for a moment and say that several months ago I thought of leveraging my ultimate success — complete with Before and After pics — into some kind of paid program (the ability to turn my personal projects into a way to help other people and earn some income always being a positive incentive, after all!) But there was a problem with this idea. I couldn’t possibly lead some sort of home/studio beautification project (I thought) if my own space were a chaotic mess! I needed to achieve, if not perfection, at least massive improvement (I thought) before I could even consider it. And since that felt impossibly far off, the whole thing was a bust.

For some reason, though, I was able at the start of this year to break out of my in-the-box thinking. Thankfully, it occurred to me that (duh) I don’t actually have to be a model of perfection in order to be an effective leader!

In fact, my leadership style has never been one of “I have all my shit together, so follow me,” but more of “I’m trying out doing this interesting thing, wanna join me?”

I knew from experience that my Playshop format of checking in via phone/Skype/web conferencing, then working individually, then checking in again, really does make a difference — Playshoppers have told me as much, and I know there’ve been times when the only thing that got me to do a designated task was the very fact that I was on a call with other people who had set aside the time for that very thing.

Why not, I thought, create a similar group for busting clutter?

ClutterBusters was born.

Currently still a pilot program, I’ve been leading two clutter-busting sessions a week — Mondays at 5pm PST and Fridays at 10am PST — plus there’s a private Facebook group just for ClutterBusters. The pictures here show you some of what I’ve personally accomplished, and the success stories from the members of the pilot program have been so inspiring!

Bathroom drawer before ClutterBusters

Bathroom drawer after ClutterBusters

Under-sink cabinet before ClutterBusters

Under-sink cabinet after ClutterBusters

(Want in? There will be a membership fee at some point, probably in the next month or two, but you’re welcome to join the pilot program now for free if you want — click here for more info.)

What’s up for February?

Now that January is almost at an end, it’s time to set my #12in12 commitment for February! I’ll be continuing with the Great Bedtime Experiment, and with daily clutter-busting (yay ClutterBusters!). To that I’m adding a new commitment I actually started this week: to write a minimum of 750 words a day on the book I’m working on. (More on that later. For now, suffice it to say that my first ebook, Creating Happiness: 9 Essential Secrets for Creative People (and Everyone Else) is in the final edits and slated to come out via aspindle.com in the middle of February, and I’m now working on a new book.)

I’m also toying with the idea of restricting my time on email to twice a day.

Which honestly makes me break out into a cold sweat.

Which makes me think I really need to try it.

What do you think?

Wanna join me with a month of daily commitment? Have you made any interesting changes so far this year? What challenge will you be taking on in February?

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

*As part of practicing Self-Compassion, and in keeping with my Stovetop model of life design for Passion Pluralites, the ArtSpark is currently on vacation while I work on my book. Time to rotate the pots on the stove, in other words. I reserve the right to make art any time I damn well please, of course, but my daily commitment to playing in the “Creative Sandbox” is now a commitment to writing, rather than splashing paint and ink around. If you’re a blog subscriber and/or ArtSpark subscriber, I will, of course, keep you posted when the ArtSpark returns from its travels! (I’d actually like to know where it’s headed — maybe Istanbul? — but it’s been mum on the subject.)

My subscribers are some of the most amazing, creative people I know. It is my great pleasure to introduce you to some of them via my Inspiring Subscriber Showcase series.

Today’s inspiring subscriber is Kelly Hevel, an American artist and creative coach living in Istanbul, Turkey. Kelly discovered Living A Creative Life in October, and a few emails back and forth revealed a kindred spirit, with philosophies, goals and dreams similar to my own.

Actually, I suspect we were separated at birth.

Well, one thing led to another, and before we knew it, we were joining forces as business partners, bringing to life a dream we’ve each had for years: destination creativity workshops and “arts immersion” vacations in different inspiring locales, starting with Istanbul! THIS FALL! (September 29-October 7, to be precise — mark your calendar!)

Our website’s not quite ready for the public, but I’m hard at work to make it ready, and I’ll post a link here when it’s done.

Meanwhile, Kelly and I didn’t want to wait til the fall to play with you, so we’re taking our act online with a 12-week course, Playing Around Online, which we’ll be officially announcing soon, starting with a free seminar — Living the Creative Life: Fact vs. Fiction. You are totally invited! There will be fun (and prizes!)

(My subscribers have already gotten a sneak peek, AND a shot at a free scholarship spot in the course — want in, too? Sign up at the top left and you’ll get the very next dispatch I send out about the course, including how to get in for free, before I shout about it here.)

In any case, I couldn’t be more thrilled to be working with Kelly. I think she’s awesome. I’m delighted to share her with you!

Read on to meet…

Inspiring Subscriber: Kelly Hevel

How are you living a creative life? How are you following your evolving bliss right now?

Living in Istanbul is a big part of how I follow my creative bliss. For me, the air in this city teems with creativity, although having spent a few weeks this summer on the Aegean coast and gaining renewed creative energy and direction from that leads me to believe that the creative energy goes beyond the city.

Is it Istanbul? Turkey? The Mediterranean, the culture, the people?

I don’t know, all I know is that I need to be here right now and being here gives me access to my creative energy. When I’m here I write more, paint more, bake more, MAKE more. The process of making, no matter what it is gives me satisfaction and energy to make more!

Amen, sister!

What Resistances or “self-installed glass ceilings” have have you faced that kept you from following your Bliss(es)?

The “shoulds.” “Shoulds” are the death of creativity and joy.

I should: not start over, follow my established career path, look for an easy, boring, secure job.

Also the “can’ts.” I can’t: learn something new, be an expert, run my own business.

Screw the shoulds and the can’ts!

What allowed you to get past the Resistance and onto your creative path? (Did you have a sudden revelation that things had to change? Did you experience a gradual shift?) What changes did you have to make?

All of the above!

I lived in New York and September 11th changed my entire outlook on life. It made me think about what I was doing with my life and if it was the right thing. Every day, for weeks and months, I looked at photos of those who were lost and wondered if they lived enough, did enough, would have made different choices if they new how short their time was. And I started searching for what I really wanted.

That took some time, and it changes, and I expect it will continue to change. But I always want to remember to make active choices and not allow choices to be made for me by choosing not to choose.

What have you learned by honoring the call of your Bliss(es) that you’d especially like to share?

That my blisses are varied, and change, and that’s OK. Some people have the same bliss their whole lives and that’s OK too.

That it’s OK to try something that seems like a fabulous pursuit and then decide that it wasn’t so great and let it go. Or find that it was great for awhile, but now it’s time to move on. That doesn’t make those non-blisses or failures, it just makes them finished (sometimes just for now).

I have also found that following my bliss gives me superhuman energy and even more ability to focus and concentrate than usual (I have an ex–treme–ly loooooong attention span when I am interested in something). It also makes me forget to eat, which is a not-good thing I am always trying to remedy.

What practices or rituals do you have to honor your creative spirit and keep your toe in the creative stream? (Tips, techniques, tools — whatever works for you. Anything goes.)

This changes over time. I work best if I have a routine: get up at this time, work on such-and-such for so long in such-and-such a place, then do such-and-such. But that routine changes.

For example in the summer I spent a lot of time writing and working at home. I got up at 9AM, worked on my balcony until 1PM, Moved inside and worked until 3PM, had lunch, took a shower (it gets hot in my apartment around 4PM in the summer). Worked for a few more hours, then quit at 7PM and went out into the world to recharge and relax.

My winter routine is completely different, partly because I am doing work which requires running around the city, and partly because of the gray weather. In the winter I work outside of home more, even when I’m writing or working on my computer because if I stay home I’ll just take naps!

Paying attention to what my energy level and body are asking of me help me to be more productive, and I am not creative when I’m not feeling cared for.

What is one more thing you’d like to share to spark up our own creative fires?

I’ll share two. First, creativity should be fun, not painful. I don’t buy that crap that you have to suffer to create art. Is it possible to create art when you’re miserable? Yes. Is it necessary to be miserable to create art? No.

Second, Follow your interests even if they seem silly or random. I love the story about Steve Jobs taking a calligraphy class at university. At the time it was completely random and he did it simply because he thought it was beautiful. But the result of it is that we don’t all have to stare at those weird blocky green letters that used to be the norm on computers. Because Steve Jobs studied calligraphy and offered a variety of fonts because they are visually appealing. So you never know what will come out of those random interests.

Of course, I once spent four months reading everything I could find on chimpanzee behavior just because it fascinated me. I enjoyed every minute of it and would do it again, but nothing useful came out of it–yet!

A Passion Pluralite if ever I met one. Thank you, Kelly! :)

In her own words: Artist, expat, art and creativity workshop giver.

Find Kelly online  over at kellyhevel.com, and on Twitter as @thecreativeurge.

Now tell me, what struck you most about Kelly’s interview? What would you most like to learn from a workshop with her? Share your responses below.

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

I had the great pleasure of interviewing Tara Mohr this morning, and I think you’ll enjoy our conversation. (20 minutes, 17 seconds.)

Some background:

A woman reserves the right to change her mind, and on Thursday, I changed mine.

After swearing I would not sign up for any  new online courses, I handed over my credit card and registered for Tara Mohr’s Playing Big. (I was already proud to be an affiliate partner for the program, but now I’m a paid member, too!)

Have you ever noticed how making a commitment to something changes the energy around it? In a matter of seconds I went from “Ack! I don’t have time! I’m not ready! I don’t have the money! I’m fine without this!” to a sense of serene groundedness. An inner knowing that this is absolutely right for me, right now.

Combined with a fizzy excitement at the big, exciting move I’m making!

Watch the video above for my conversation with Tara about what it means to play big.

Hint: if you’re thinking playing big is just for celebrities, politicians, and CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, that’s not the kind of playing big we’re talking about. As Tara put it, she could have just as well titled her program Liberating Your Inner Creative Voice. Because in the end, it all comes down to the same thing.

If you want to hear more from Tara about the Playing Big program itself, click here to listen to an information call Tara hosted on Thursday (you’ll hear me asking the very first question, which is what helped me come to my final decision to sign up.) And click here to read all about Playing Big (and if you’re ready to take the plunge, join me in the course! As a thank you for buying through my link I’ll give you a 6-month membership in my Creative Ignition Club and ClutterBusters group. :))

Enjoy the video, and I’ll just leave you with…

A message from the Universe

Someone (I think it might have been Tara, originally..?) tweeted recently:

Dear Brilliant Woman:

I made you brilliant so you could heal the world. Please start playing bigger.

Love,
The Universe

Amen.

Let me know your reactions!

Where have you installed your own “glass ceilings”? What if you played as big as you truly could? What kind of impact could you make? 

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

The following is borrowed in whole from Jonathan Fields, because I think it’s brilliant and hilarious:

[FTC Disclosure - You should always assume that pretty much every link on this blog is an affiliate link and that if you click it, find something you like and buy it, I'm gonna make some serious money. Now, understand this, I'm not talking chump change, I'm talking huge windfall in commissions, bling up the wazoo and all sorts of other free stuff. I may even be given a mansion and a yacht, though honestly I'd settle most of the time for some organic dark chocolate and clean socks. Oh, and if I mention a book or some other product, just assume I got a review copy of it gratis and that me getting it has completely biased everything I say. Because, books are like a drug to me, put one in my hand and you own my ass. Ethics be damned! K, you've been warned. Huggies and butterflies. ]

I’m still waiting for my mansion and yacht. And bling, too, btw.

If you like to write, you should know about the cool thing my friend LaVonne has going on over at her blog, one.blue.berry.

LaVonne loves stories — she loves to write them (which she does exquisitely well — check out her juicy memoir about how she married a gorgeous Greek for his green card!), she loves to read them, and she loves to share them.

To that end, she recently started a delightful little project — sign up for her story prompts, and twice a week a one-word prompt will land in your inbox. Reply back with your (true) story — either in an email, or if you prefer you can leave a voice message on her phone system — and you may find yourself published over at one.blue.berry.

I’ve been getting LaVonne’s prompts for a couple of weeks now, and they always spark a memory and an idea, but until yesterday I never managed to carve the time to actually write it down.

This latest prompt, though, grabbed me by the throat.

“Tell me a story about: A Decision,” the email said, and it was as if I were possessed. I had to write it. I couldn’t not write it.

Maybe 20 minutes later I sent LaVonne 408 words about my decision, at age 19, to drop out of college and audition for the dance division at the Juilliard School in New York.

That’s all I’ll say about it here — if you want to read it, LaVonne tells me it will go live on one.blue.berry sometime next week. (I know, I’m mean. So sue me.)

Writing the story got me thinking about more than just that decision, though. This post is the result.

A Paradox: Playing Big and Playing Small at the Same Time

My decision to buck expectations, fly off to New York by myself and audition for Juilliard contains an enormous paradox: on the one hand, what a big, bold move for shy, 19-year-old me! My heart swells with pride for that younger self who did something that scared her so much.

Following my dreams, moving to New York to dance, was what one might call “playing big.”

On the other hand, I remember being struck by how the other dancers at Juilliard didn’t hold back in class. They danced full out. They went for it.

It may surprise you, but this had not been my experience back home. A lot of the time, in dance class, and no doubt in other parts of my life, I stuck to playing small. I danced “in the shadows.” It felt safer that way.

Holding Back

When I first “discovered” dance at age 16, I was thrilled at the attention it brought me. Years of being picked last for sports teams had filled me with a belief that I was a klutz, and yet after my first “real” dance class the teacher kept asking me which competitor’s studio I danced at. He didn’t believe me that my only previous dance experience had been through my high school gym “dance” classes, which were notorious for being, shall we say, light on technique.

Apparently I had some facility at this thing. Who knew?

For the next few years I dove into this new passion, dreaming big dreams of a career as a professional dancer/choreographer, while at the same time not quite believing it was possible.

My life revolved around dance and high school — there was nothing else. I was in dance classes for hours every afternoon and evening, with additional classes in the mornings during vacations. I applied myself furiously.

And yet I also held back.

I remember being so afraid of making a fool of myself, so afraid of failing, that unless I felt 100% confident in what I was doing, I practically refused to dance full out. That’s not the most efficient route to mastery, but this self-conscious display of hiding almost seemed the thing to do, in a studio where so many of the serious dancers were insecure teens like myself.

So while I dreamed of playing big, in my real life I played a lot smaller than my full size. (While at the same time I starved and vomited myself well below my literal full size, but that’s a topic for another time.)

The Power of Models

When I saw my classmates at Juilliard really going for it, holding nothing back, it was a revelation. It suddenly occurred to me that yes, if you want to make a splash, if you want to do this thing (whatever it might be), hiding and playing small is not going to cut it. No dance company it its right mind would hire a dancer who didn’t give it her all — I mean, duh!

Somehow, though, I needed to see my classmates owning the space outside of the shadows in order to give myself permission to be big. To take up space. To go for it.

I can’t blame that younger self for trying to stay safe. Some people can bust through glass ceilings all on their own. The rest of us need models to show us what’s possible.

There’s a reason activists raise a ruckus about film and TV portrayals of people in power being predominantly white and male. If you don’t see any examples of other people like you, it’s hard to imagine that they might exist, and more importantly, that you might fill similar shoes.

I’ve shared many times on this blog that it wasn’t until Chris Guillebeau appeared on my radar that it even occurred to me that I could really create a sustainable living doing what I really, really wanted. (Not that he’s the only model out there, by any means, but he was the first that I became consciously aware of.)

Stepping Out of the Shadows

One beautiful model of playing big is writer, coach and personal growth teacher, Tara Mohr — a personal hero and inspiration of mine.

I actually first encountered Tara years ago when she and her then fiance ordered a ketubah from me for their wedding. Since then she’s taken the internet by storm, blogging regularly for The Huffington Post, and appearing in national publications, and on national radio and TV.

Check out how clearly Tara articulates herself while in the hot-seat on The Today Show:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Clearly, Tara doesn’t let fear of failure — or criticism — hold her back from her big dreams and visions. She’s dancing full-out with the world, right in the spotlight, and the world is better for it.

She’s a model for all of us.

Says Tara:

Most brilliant women don’t see their own brilliance and are “playing small” and they know it: not speaking up, doubting themselves, seeing themselves as “not yet ready” to launch the big idea, the organization, to put themselves at the table.

One of Tara’s missions in life is to help women leaders learn “how to quiet self-doubt, clarify purpose, and become comfortable with taking bold action in the workplace and in the world.”

Amen.

Playing Big

About a year ago Tara unveiled her flagship 6 -month course for women who are ready to bust through their own personal glass ceilings, Playing Big (I’m very proud to be an affiliate partner, and yes, that’s an affiliate link). Now the course is back, and Oh. My. GOD. Do I want to take it!

Want! Want! Want!

Had I not just signed up for both Pace Smith & Kelly Kingman’s The Way of the Peaceful Entrepreneur (also an affiliate link, though registration is no longer open) and Jennifer Louden and Michele Christensen’s Teach Now (that is not an affiliate link, but I wish it were [hint, hint, Jen and Michele!]), I would so sign up for Playing Big!

As it is, I’ll attend Tara’s free seminar on January 19 (there’s still space, as I type this), and hem and haw, and if I’m wise with my limited time and money I’ll take a deep breath and promise myself I’ll take it next time.

Sigh…

Meanwhile, I’ll look to all of the above powerhouses as models as I continue to dance myself out of the shadows and play bigger, and bigger, and bigger.

I hope you’ll join me. The world needs us.

(And if you sign up for Playing Big, will you tell me all about it, pretty please?)

Where have you gotten stuck dancing in the shadows? How are you continuing to play small, and what would playing big really look like in your life? Who are your role models for playing big?

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

Dancer photo by Shoofly @ deviantART.com (Sweet Carolina Design & Photo at Flickr)

We now interrupt this blog about living an awesome creative life to bring you an object lesson in marketing. (Yes, marketing. It’s fun — trust me.) In fact, it’s a sociological study of what makes a person (in this case, me) choose to buy, or not.

Why? Because marketing is part of living an awesome creative life as an internet entrepreneur. (Or any kind of entrepreneur, actually.)

Think of it as the business side of creativity. Or the creative side of business. Or something. It’s actually pretty fascinating when you start getting curious about it. (Trust me.) Even if you’re not personally interested in running your own business.

(Or just come back next time — after all, if this isn’t your thing, another blog post [on an entirely different subject, no doubt] will be coming out in a few days.)

Oh, and be advised, if you proceed, that affiliate links abound below. They won’t bite you, but if you click on one and end up making a purchase, I’ll earn a commission. Just thought I should warn you.

Onward…

El made a comment on my last post that really got me thinking over the past few days about what makes people buy.

Specifically, in this case, what made me buy… and not buy… when two very similar products came out within a couple of months of each other.

A Tale of Two Publishing Guides

When I got an email from Chris Guillebeau back in mid-December that his new Unconventional Guide to Publishing (aff [that means "affiliate link," in case you were wondering]) was coming out on January 10th, I knew I wanted it, and unless it was just crazy expensive, I knew I was going to buy it.

Before I even saw the details about it.

This in itself wouldn’t be so notable, except that just a few weeks before Chris’ announcement, Danielle LaPorte of White Hot Truth launched a very similar offering — Your Big Beautiful Book Plan, co-created with Linda Siversten — and though I had looked at the sales page, and I had thought seriously about getting out my credit card…

…I ultimately nixed it.

As El pointed out, the two packages look very alike from the outside — they both have lots of insider tips, real-life examples of winning book proposals, interviews with industry veterans, and fairly comparable pricing: the price point of Chris’ top-tier “Hemingway” package clocks in at $129, just $21 less than the $150 that LaPorte and Siversten are asking for Your Big Beautiful Book Plan.

And yet I have to say it was pretty easy for me to say no to one, and a total no-brainer for me to say yes to the other.

Why the difference?

Marketing 101

Besides being strangely fascinating (to me, at least), the answer is also an object lesson for any entrepreneur, because it has everything to do with one of the maxims that appears in every basic marketing class or book:

People buy from people (or businesses) they know, like and trust.

I know both Danielle’s and Chris’ work (though, granted, not Linda’s). I know from past purchases that they both produce excellent products, and hold themselves to very high standards, so I trust that they have each made another excellent, high value product. I’ve even met each of them in person (though to be fair, Danielle only briefly), I like them both, and I strongly resonate with the big vision message they each bring to the world.

Know, like and trust are all covered, then. So what else would explain my purchasing decisions?

Beyond Know, Like and Trust

Ultimately, just knowing, liking and trusting wasn’t enough — I bought the product from the business that I felt more strongly connected to.

You can get a snapshot of my connection by my reactions to the news of the product launches:

When I saw Danielle’s announcement about Your Big Beautiful Book Plan, my first thought was, “Hmmm, I definitely have a goal of writing a book, so this would be useful… but I’m not ready to write a book right now, so there’s really no reason for me to shell out $150 at the moment. I can always get it later.”

On the other hand, when I got that email from Chris saying that his Unconventional Guide to Publishing was coming out in a few weeks, my first thought was “OMG, I have to buy that!”

Even though I was no more ready to write a book than I’d been a few weeks before.

Yep. Strong connection.

I suppose that “strong connection” could be said to fall under the “like” category, but there’s a distinction I think is important. For me, feeling strongly connected is more than just liking, and comes down to a couple of different things:

1) How much I resonate with their brand

2) How personally connected I feel (which falls under the “know” category, and is in turn strongly tied to how much I resonate with their brand)

Brand Archetypes

In Action Studio, a month-long intensive course I took with Sinclair over the summer, I learned about the idea of brand archetypes. Sinclair has her own proprietary take, but the concept of archetypes has actually been used by corporations for decades to help them define their brand personality. (A quick Google search on “brand archetypes” yields over 785,000 results.)

Kitty Kilian turned me on to The Storybranding Group, which has its own, very similar archetypal system (and a free inventory you can take to determine your personal archetypes). You can dig into their website (and all the other archetype systems out there in the Googleverse) for a more in-depth look at the whole concept, but as a quick shorthand, here’s a chart from the Storybranding Group system’s creator’s website of the archetypes of a dozen different individuals and organizations:

Think about the feeling you get from Dolly Parton, say, versus Tina Fey. Or Apple versus Microsoft. Totally different personalities and associations, right?

Some on this list you probably resonate with a lot, others maybe not so much. When a brand (which could be a big company or a solopreneur, or anything in between) is in perfect alignment with you — when you totally dig what they’re about, why they do what they do and how they do it — you’re what the wise and brilliant Havi would call that brand’s “Right People.”

My decisions to buy (in Chris’ case) and not to buy (in Danielle’s and Linda’s case) revealed to me that I am very much Chris’ Right People, but I am Danielle and Linda’s not-quite-exactly-Right People.

The reason lies in their archetypes.

Ruler?/Sage?/Magician?

I don’t actually know what Danielle’s primary brand archetypes are, but the ones that seem most likely to me are archetypes that contain a certain amount of distance, such as Ruler, Sage and Magician. Her brand (or my perception of it — yours might be totally different) sets her apart from her audience, up on a hill, invulnerable. While that form of leadership is powerfully compelling for many, it doesn’t really resonate for me.

Although I’d love to emulate her business success, her reach, and her consequent power to positively impact the world, I don’t want to emulate her brand. I’m a heart-on-my-sleeve type, I can’t relate to her super-polished packaging.

Again, I LOVE her message and mission, but I honestly find her web presence, the super-professionally-produced (and can’t-take-your-eyes-off entertaining!) videos, a bit… intimidating. And since I’m so much about making people feel comfy, all that polish feels off-putting to me.

I’m an authenticity junkie. I don’t want to see your mask, no matter how beautiful; I want to see your humanity.

(I should note that when I met Danielle at the World Domination Summit last June, she was the essence of warmth. I introduced myself in the bathroom line and stuck my hand out for a shake, and she said “Oh, honey, hugs, please, I don’t do handshakes” and wrapped me in a genuine embrace. Her stage presentation also emanated a warmth I personally don’t perceive on her website. But again, your perception may be entirely different.)

None of this is to say that there’s anything wrong with Danielle’s brand. It’s perfect for her, and she clearly does not lack for customers. In a single day, her book, The Firestarter Sessions, hit #2 on Amazon — right behind Steve Jobs’ biography. The woman kicks ass (and I bought the book, btw.) She’s one of my heroes.

I’m just not quite her Right People, from a brand/customer perspective.

Explorer?/Hero?/Everyperson?

I also don’t know what Chris’ primary brand archetypes are, but apparently they’re archetypes that my own relate to with a lot less friction. I’d guess he’s got elements of Explorer, Hero and Everyperson.

These archetypes — and his entire way of being — resonate more fully with me.

He’s visibly human. He allows himself to show vulnerability. He shows his imperfection, doesn’t try to mask it. His style of leading is more, “Hey guys, let’s do this! Come join me!” than “I hold all the answers, so come partake of my great wisdom.”

His videos are so obviously “homemade,” so obviously not polished and professionally produced, and that’s part of what I like about them. He seems not like a High Priest With All The Answers, but … like me! And I like that.

I like it enough that I’ve sent a lot (a lot) of money his way. And I fully anticipate sending him a lot more.

I also follow and admire Danielle (and again, I’ve bought some of her stuff), but I follow more from a distance. Chris brings me along for the ride.

A Bit More Marketing 101

Even if I resonate with your brand, of course the product has to be a good fit, too. It has to answer a need or solve a problem of mine, otherwise I won’t buy it. Not all of Chris’ offerings are up my alley, so I’m not a True Fan in the pure sense of the word (ie, a fan who buys every single thing you produce, from this post on the concept of 1,000 True Fans).

Sometimes, though, even if the offering itself isn’t a perfect fit, my resonance with the brand may lead me to buy for other, more “meta” reasons.

Take Pace Smith and Kelly Kingman’s Way of the Peaceful Entrepreneur (aff [yep, another affiliate link!]).

Just over a year ago, having discovered Pace and her partner Kyeli (not to be confused with Kelly) through Johnny B. Truant and Lee Stranahan‘s interview “course,” Question the Rules (aff [and another one!]), I bought Pace & Kelly’s previous joint venture project, a collection of excellent interviews with a dozen or successful e-course creators, called Engaging E-Courses (aff [omg, will they ever stop?]).

I loved it.

And though I can’t say I’ve been a devoted follower of either of their blogs, I pop into Pace and Kyeli’s (again, not to be confused with Kelly) Connection Revolution every so often, and always love what I find there. I love their message and mission (sound familiar?) and I also love their style of transmitting it — with humanity, humor, vulnerability, and total authenticity.

(Check out this video of Danielle LaPorte & Linda Siverten, and this video by Pace and Kyeli, to get a sense of the difference in styles I’m talking about here.)

Let’s face it: I just think they’re really cool.

And as with Chris Guillebeau, I want to emulate not just their success, but their manner of creating it.

Meta Meta Meta & Ulterior Motives

My archetypes (Lover/Creator/Hero – you tell me which one you think is primary), resonate with the archetypes I perceive in Pace (Hero?/Rebel?), so when she and Kelly (not to be confused with Kyeli) announced the Way of the Peaceful Entrepreneur (and yes, it’s still an affiliate link, in case you’re wondering), my ears perked up.

And even though I’m well beyond the just-starting-out (or thinking about it) level the course is aimed at, I decided to hand over my credit card.

Why? Two reasons:

• I suspect there will be value to be gleaned in a review of business basics from Pace and Kelly’s unique perspective
• I want to learn from them with my teacher hat on
  

As a teacher/leader/creative entrepreneur myself, every course I sign up for I take with at least two different hats: my student hat (in which I learn from the actual content presented), and my teacher hat (in which I learn from the way the content is presented: what do I want to borrow? what do I want to make sure I don’t do in my next class or offering?)

Plus here’s a secret I’ve learned from experience: taking courses is a great way to grow my own network. I get to develop or deepen my relationship with the instructors, and I’ve made some amazing, lasting connections with other participants in the interactive courses I’ve taken online.

The Real Ulterior Motive Part

One lesson that Jon Morrow brought home in his awesome Guest Blogging Apprenticeship (amazingly, this one is NOT an affiliate link — Jon, if you take affiliates, can I sign up?), is that one surefire shortcut to building a relationship with a blogger (though of course this applies to anyone, not just bloggers) is to buy it — take an interactive course from them (and interact); pay for coaching or consulting.

Believe me, I have a much stronger relationship with the members of my Creative Ignition Club, and Creative Ignition Circle, and one-on-one coachsulting clients, than with subscribers to my blog who haven’t actually worked with me. Duh, right?

Yep, Pace and Kelly, if you’re reading, full disclosure: part of why I’m signed up for the Way of the Peaceful Entrepreneur is ’cause I want to get to know you better! (And yikes, how scary and vulnerable does it feel to admit that? Like saying “Will you be my friend?” to the intriguing stranger kid on the playground. Can you say “I’m a dork”?)

The Upshot

All this is to say, if you run a business, or are thinking of doing so (this includes solopreneurs), your business has a personality, and the image you present will determine what kinds of people you attract, and who ultimately buys your stuff.

So make sure your mission, message, brand personality, graphics, copy and everything else you put out in the world is consistent and says what you want it to say, in order to self-de-select your not-Right People, and to attract your Right People.

Simple, right?

Um, yeah. Have fun spending the next few decades getting it right.

That’s exactly what I’m working on doing.

If you’re ready to start — or grow — your business in a humane, peaceful way, I’d love to have you as a classmate with me in Pace and Kelly’s course, the Way of the Peaceful Entrepreneur. Tuesday is the last day to get in — registration closes on January 17th.

Full disclosure (again, in case you didn’t see the multiple other times I mentioned this): if you click through that link (or any of the Way of the Peaceful Entrepreneur links [←like that one]) and buy, I’ll make a commission. Which would, of course, make me wildly appreciative.

So much so that I’d love to thank you with a 3-month membership in my Creative Ignition Club as a special bonus. Yep — take the Way of the Peaceful Entrepreneur with me (using one of my links to sign up, of course), and you get 3 months in the Creative Ignition Club.

However, if for whatever reason you want to take the course, but don’t want to send me a commission, or get exclusive access to the Club, just do a Google search, and I won’t ever know the difference. ;)

Do you have any examples of brands you love, and brands that don’t quite do it for you? What works for you about the former, and what doesn’t work for you about that latter?

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

PPS — If you got all the way to the bottom of this verrrrrrry loooooong post, I’m guessing it means you liked it. If you haven’t already subscribed, just use that nifty form at the top right, and all my blog posts (usually 2x/week) will land in your very own inbox.

photo by Ksayer1 at Flickr

2012 is my year of Self-Compassion, Untangle(ing) and Practice. Within those three overarching themes, however, are lots of much more specific goals.

Busting clutter, for example.

Under the theme of Practice, and in keeping with the spirit of my 15 Minutes-a-Day Creative Challenge, 2012 is also shaping up to be my Year of Writing. And more specifically, my Year of Publishing.

Sure, I publish a couple of times a week right here on the blog, but publishing a book is a different animal.

So what am I doing to make this my Year of Publishing?

In addition to my blog-writing time, I put time in every day on writing for publication. I’m starting with an e-book (or ebook? or eBook? the debate rages), coming out via ASpindle later this year. When that’s done, I’m working my way through several real-life projects in Lee Stranahan‘s Digital Publishing Boot Camp. (Super-awesome course, btw — highly recommended!)

With Kindles and e-readers (e-readers? eReaders?) becoming all the rage, self-publishing is a whole new world, with gobs of potential that simply didn’t exist before. (The days of “Vanity Publishing” seem quaint now.) It will be very interesting to see how it evolves.

The big, E ticket goal for many, though, is still to get published, by an already-established, honest-to-goodness “Real Publisher.”

The 80% Dream

It turns out a LOT of people dream of writing a book — some surveys have shown that fully 80% of people have “write a book” on their list of life goals.

The world of publishing, though, has always been a big, opaque mystery. How does one even go about trying to get published? Do you need an agent? If so, how do you get one? How do you write a query letter? How do you craft a strong proposal? If you’re so lucky as to land a contract, how do you navigate the legalese?

The unknowns seem endless.

No wonder very few of that 80% actually ever follow through on their dreams of writing a book and getting published!

Chris Guillebeau to the Rescue!

If you’ve been here awhile, you may know that Chris Guillebeau was the unwitting catalyst for this blog. He’s been an inspiration to me in so many ways, starting with being a model of living the life you really, really want — doing what you love, making an impact, and making a damn good living at it.

He’s also created numerous amazing products that I’ve found incredibly helpful, and have used as models for my own offerings. (The Empire Building Kit, the Unconventional Guide to Art + Money, the Travel Hacking Cartel, to name just a few.)

Now, drawing on the experience of publishing his best-selling book, The Art of Non-Conformity (#8 on Amazon in its first week out), and his 2nd book (coming out in May), Chris has a new, comprehensive guide that anyone with “write a book” on their bucket list would be smart to get their hands on.

The Unconventional Guide to Publishing

Like most of Chris’ offerings, the Unconventional Guide to Publishing is a multi-media package, at the heart of which is a 45,000-word guide by Chris’ own literary agent, 20-year publishing industry veteran David Fugate.

Fugate and Chris have teamed up to offer a comprehensive solution to understanding the publishing industry, and I’m VERY excited about it!

In addition to the 45,000-word e-book (ebook? eBook?) are lots of supplemental interviews, recordings and transcripts, including:

• Sample query letters and a sample agent + author contract
• How to find an agent (and why you need one)
• How to craft a strong proposal that will get editors excited
• Questions to ask when considering an offer
• The three clauses in every book contract you should pay close attention to (Warning: if you miss these, you’ll regret it later)
• Everything about money—advances, royalties, foreign rights, auctions and more

There are three package options — “Hemingway, Fitzgerald and Austen” — and through Friday only you can get the top tier “Hemingway” option for a discount, plus more special rewards:

For 3 days only, early purchasers get:

1. A 25% discount on the $129 tier (discount price: $97) (This is the one I bought!)
2. An extended Q&A conference call with David Fugate, veteran literary agent and author of the guide
3. A personal review of the buyer’s community-building plan with Chris Guillebeau himself

It’s a pretty slick offer, but it’s only available until midnight PST on Friday, January 13, so I wanted to let you know about it asap! Click here to get your discount and rewards.

No I’m off to work on my e-book/ebook/eBook.

Full disclosure: I’m an affiliate partner with Chris, so if you click through and buy via one of my links, I’ll receive a commission. (Actually, for Chris’ stuff, I’ll only receive a commission if mine is the first link you click. So if you want to send that commission to someone else, go click on their link first!)

More full disclosure: I’m actually an affiliate partner with dozens of companies, most of which I never mention here. I only ever promote products and services here which I think are relevant to you, and which I can fully stand behind. (If you’re interested in other stuff I use, love and wholeheartedly recommend, click here.) In Chris’ case, even though I haven’t had a spare second to even skim through my copy of the Unconventional Guide to Publishing yet, sharing it here was a no-brainer.

Every single thing I’ve ever bought from Chris has been top-notch. I don’t even think anymore before purchasing from him — if it’s up my alley, I buy it. Period. I’ve never been disappointed with one of his Unconventional Guides. (If you buy the guide on the strength of my recommendation and are unhappy with it, you can complain to me about it — that’s how confident I am. Plus Chris offers a 100% Effectiveness Guarantee.)

 Tell me, is writing a book on your bucket list? What steps are you taking to make it happen?

PS — Pssst! Know someone else who wants to write a book and could use a secret weapon? Pass it on!

So let’s take stock of how my intentions are going so far, shall we? In keeping with the first of my 3 words for 2012, Self-Compassion, my big intention for January is to get better, and more, sleep.

Specifically, I’ve committed to getting to bed, lights out, by no later than 11pm every night this month — a shift of 3 full hours from my usual 2am bedtime.

I call it…

The Great Bedtime Experiment Debrief

It’s been a week since I started the Great Bedtime Experiment. How’m I doin’?

I’m pleased to report that I’ve succeeded in keeping my commitment, and it is dramatically helping my energy and quality of life, as expected.

What I didn’t expect is the “side effects.”

To wit: for the first couple of days, I was surprised to find my tension and stress level much higher throughout the day than normal. My usual M.O. has been to just keep working as late into the night as necessary, until I literally had to stop. Now, with a “hard endtime” to my days, I no longer have that “luxury,” and the perceived limits on my time added some extra felt-pressure — “gotta get X,Y & Z done, NOW!” — that I hadn’t felt before.

I swear my blood pressure rose several points for a couple of days there.

Thankfully, that began to stabilize as the week went on, as I kinda figured it would.

The ritual of shutting down started to become normal and my perspective on the shape of my day began to adapt and adjust.

I’m much more conscious of planning ahead, and though I’m still in major catch-up mode (inevitable, when you’ve been living in last-minute, push-til-the-wee-hours-whenever-necessary land for as long as I have), it’s shifting, and it feels great!

Surprises

One thing that’s really surprised me is that the Great Bedtime Experiment has revealed how seriously overextended I am.

Let’s be clear: I knew I was overextended, but somehow pushing late into the night had masked just how overextended. There’s no hiding when you face a hard-stop at the end of the day, and 7 items are still staring at you from your “must get done this week, preferably today” list, uncompleted.

I knew I had a tendency to overestimate just how much I could get done in a day — I just didn’t realize how much I overestimated.

So.

What to do? It’s a situation that cannot be sustained.

Reality Bites

I started by writing down every single thing I do on a regular basis that takes up my time. Then I looked at that list. Something has to give, but what? I honestly don’t want to give any of it up! I still haven’t come to any happy conclusions, beyond possibly posting less here on the blog…

I have, however, allowed myself to drop some planned projects from my “foreseeable future of 2012″ list — such as my long-held dream of creating a Uke Diva site, with video tutorials on how to play my original songs on the ukulele.

…which I’d hoped to have up by the end of 2011

…which obviously didn’t happen…

Yes, I’m still very eager and excited to do this, and I’m not letting it go entirely, but I just have to be ruthless about my priorities, and with only space for 4-5 pots on my stove at any given time, this pot is just going to have to wait. I’ve got other bubbling pots to attend to right now, which are threatening to burn or boil over if I’m not careful!

So.

Meanwhile, my sweetie and I are in agreement that this new, earlier bedtime regime is working very well. We’re both much better-rested (though I still seem to be a lot sleepier than I’d like [what's up with that?]). I’m no longer totally steamrollered when I get up, and come to think of it, I don’t feel on the edge of a migraine all the time.

Unfortunately the Great Bedtime Experiment hasn’t yet eliminated my tendency toward insomnia, but the month is yet young.

The Other 2 Words

Meanwhile, I’m also very pleased with my attempts to integrate my other 2 words for 2012, Practice and Untangle.

Mornings are highly creative times for me, and I love to spend the first hour (or more!) of my day sitting up in bed, writing in my journal. I do some “morning pages”-style brain-dumping, but my journal (good ol’ paper and pen) is where I strategize, brainstorm ideas, and more often than not, pen drafts of blog posts (like this one!), sales pages and emails.

It feels like Lazing Around Time, since I’m sitting in bed in my pajamas (as opposed to sitting in front of my computer in my pajamas), but in fact, I get some of my best, most important work done there!

It’s a practice I’d let slide, and although I’m not able to do it every day, it feels good to be incorporating my morning strategizing/writing time back into my days.

Two other rituals I’ve started (or, rather, re-started) are going well too:

1) My Write-Ride: Every day, usually in the morning, I hop on my exercise bike-cum-satellite work station and write. Yes, I sometimes pop over to email, Facebook, etc., but one of my big goals for 2012 is to publish, and I’m committed to working on something for publication every day, with a target of at least 700 words, or an hour on the bike. (Sometimes the Write-Ride is more of an Edit-Ride, which is why I decided not to be a total stickler about the number of new words produced.)

This commitment has helped me bust through a block that had kept me stuck for weeks on my e-book, and I’m finally at a point I thought I’d never reach: actually looking forward to my writing time each day!

On the down side…

2012 is shaping up to be much more focused on writing than on art-making, and I confess I’m sad about letting my art time slide, but I remind myself that whatever mode I’m creating in, it all counts as time in the Creative Sandbox. (Fellow Passion Pluralites, remember, you can do it all, just not all at once!)

I’m also taking steps to make teeny-tiny little art-making moments more likely to happen: like clearing off my drafting table, and stretching a sheet of watercolor paper to have at the ready for a spontaneous moment of smearing/dribbling/brushing paint/ink/gesso.

2) And last but not least…

I made a secret commitment to myself at the start of the week that I would try out doing something — one thing every day — to rid myself of clutter.

My thoughts are very organized, but my environment, not always so much.

Now that I know some tools that work well to keep me motivated, I thought I’d put them to work on a big goal that has been all-too-easy to put off for way too long.

Here are the drivers that I know work for me:

• Time-limited commitments. “Every day forever” feels impossible, and makes my inner rebel want to run for the hills. “Every day or one month” feels like a fun game!
• Public accountability. That public may be a single client, waiting on a project; or my ArtSpark subscribers, who expect art delivered in their inbox on a particular schedule; or it may take another form. As long as there’s an element of wanting to avoid letting people down, my ego is vain enough to kick me into gear so I don’t!
• A tribe/gang/team facing similar challenges. There’s some overlap between this driver and public accountability, but a tribe, or community, or support group is more than just an accountability group. Our successes inspire each other, and counseling each other through the times when we get off track helps strengthen our own resolve.

These elements are part of what make my Creative Ignition Club and Creative Ignition Circle so powerful. (There’s still room in the next Circle, btw! Starting Tuesday, 6pm PST. Click here to snag your seat.)

Soooo… Knowing all that, I decided to try yet another experiment this month:

The ClutterBusters Pilot Program

I have to admit, I’m a bit giddy about this one. I’ve already cleaned out a desk drawer and purged & sorted my crammed-full bathroom mirrored cabinet, and tomorrow at the first ClutterBusters session I may start tackling my file cabinets.

It’s going to take a big change — and change is hard — but I am dedicated to creating the uncluttered home and studio of my dreams. And if you’ve got your own Closet of Doom, you can join me!

You can read all about it here. No charge for the first month, except the request that you offer your feedback whenever I send a survey.

And now, as this review-of-the-week-that-was has gotten long, I’m going to sign off and turn it over to you.

How was your first week of 2012? Have your intentions colored anything in your life so far? What’s going well? What are your challenges?

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

My subscribers are some of the most amazing, creative people I know. It is my great pleasure to introduce you to some of them via my Inspiring Subscriber Showcase series, in which I discover how a fellow Creative is living a creative life.

Today’s Inspiring Subscriber appeared on my radar in a big way last August, when she signed up for my very first Creative Ignition Circle (next session starting Tuesday, btw!) It was a joy to watch her develop and evolve her inspiring art practice, and the tools to keep it strong, over the two months of the Circle.

It was also a joy to listen to her sage advice to the other members of the Circle, and I was delighted beyond words when she joined the Creative Ignition Club (which didn’t exist at the time of that first Circle, but is now a benefit of Circle membership).

Laureen is not one to waste words. Whenever she offered her thoughts in the Circle, I knew everyone was in for some lustrous pearls of wisdom, and I always perk up when I see she’s posted something in the Club, because I know it will be a gem.

The woman can write, too. When she recently announced her brand new blog, I popped over for a visit and was deeply impressed with the richness of her descriptions and the clarity of her voice.

I shouldn’t have been the least bit surprised — when Laureen takes something on, she doesn’t half-ass it. She does it with grace, and with the utmost attention to quality and detail.

Read on to meet…

Inspiring Subscriber: Laureen Marchand

How are you living a creative life? How are you following your evolving bliss right now?

Right now I’ve got the most wonderful creative life in the most amazing location. I make paintings; operate my own art gallery, Grasslands Gallery; write about art and the business of art, both on the gallery blog and for other publications; and am currently dreaming up new things I can offer through the website and blog for other people who want more out of life than what they currently have.

The possibility of this life came from the decision I made in 2009 to leave the medium-sized city I’d been in for 26 years, and the “good” job that had become way too demanding and artistic-spirit-squashing. I’d been able to keep half a working and exhibiting artist’s career and half a library career (the link’s a bit out-of-date and should say 2008 not 2010, but the idea is there) for 20 of the years before that, but cities seem to start out manageable and then grow and get expensive. I got to the point where just staying ahead was taking all my strength and my studio life had all but vanished.

My heart was breaking all the time.

It was stay and die creatively or change something. The place I moved to is the tiny (135 people) community of Val Marie, gateway to Grasslands National Park. I picked it because the landscape here is gorgeous, because a good friend had preceded me here and through visiting her I’d come to know the place and some of the people, because having a good friend in your otherwise all-new life is a Really Good Thing, and because I could sell my city house for money and buy an inexpensive one here.

When you are running away to join the circus, if helps to choose your circus!

So I have my artist life and my business life. Since I believe in community as a legacy of creative thinking, I also have my giving-back life. Right now I’m Chair of the Board of Directors of Prairie Wind & Silver Sage, the “friends” group for Grasslands National Park. We operate a summer museum (which we’re currently exploring taking in the new direction of ecomuseum), in a heritage building where we have museum and art exhibitions, a gorgeous Prairie-related book and gift shop, and an espresso bar.

Not bad for a tiny town in the wild west!

I’m also on the board of our local community-owned share corporation Whitemud Grocery (and work there once a week), and on the loosely structured Val Marie Culture, Heritage and Youth Elevator Committee, dedicated to preserving and restoring our 1927 wood-crib grain elevator.

And I’m incredibly lucky to have the love and support of companions, friends, and colleagues in Saskatchewan, North America, and Europe — we all know what joy the creative life is, and we have each other’s backs.

I have to add, in case this all sounds too idyllic to be true, that I still face some of the same money worries that I had before. So sometimes I take jobs that mean my art practice gets less of me. But I try to do those jobs with honor and creativity. In addition to my local job, I teach for University of Maryland University College in an online library and research skills course required for new distance education graduate students. I also have a contract with UMUC as a course manager, helping revise and re-develop course materials and helping support course faculty.

The local job is one morning a week, and the UMUC work is intermittent, so that helps to keep things under control. But if the gallery and the possible other offerings take off, I plan that life will become more integrated. And the gallery is mainly summer-seasonal at this time, so I have winters to focus on studio and teaching.

What Resistances or “self-installed glass ceilings” have have you faced that kept you from following your Bliss(es)?

It’s probably pretty easy to see that I like to have a lot going on. Sometimes I have too much going on. I’ve never been able in my life to tell when things are going to be Too Much until it’s really full-blown. I’m working on that.

When I left my city life for this one, I thought it would be like walking into a permanent artist’s residency. But I’d lost the practice of working at art, and that was an incredible shock. It wasn’t easy to get it back. I took on too much work for other people, both paid and volunteer, and the art got further away, not closer. It was a huge disappointment.

What allowed you to get past the Resistance and onto your creative path? (Did you have a sudden revelation that things had to change? Did you experience a gradual shift?) What changes did you have to make?

As much as possible, I try to move out of darkness into light. I floundered on and off for a year. One day, doing nothing but play computer Solitaire and be in pain about not painting, I began to Google “creativity coach.” Light led me to Alison Gresik, who led me to Havi Brooks, who led me to…Cairene McDonald, Catherine Caine, Molly Gordon, Chris Guillebeau, Lisa Baldwin, and so many more.

And to you, Melissa.

Bless you, your Creative Ignition Circle was one of the last pieces of the puzzle that got me going. Now I’m painting regularly, and planning and dreaming, and there’s a lot more light than there was.

{Editor’s note: the next Circle session starts on Tuesday! At the time of this writing, there’s still room — if it’s calling your name click here to read more and join.}

What have you learned by honoring the call of your Bliss(es) that you’d especially like to share?

Oh, aren’t we amazing? And if we can hear our own self call, life can be so rich!

What practices or rituals do you have to honor your creative spirit and keep your toe in the creative stream? (Tips, techniques, tools — whatever works for you. Anything goes.)

I need dailiness in my art practice. I’ve learned that if my easel gets too far away from the front of my brain, it’s really hard to get it back where it belongs.

Right now I’m trying to paint 2 or 3 hours every morning, usually four or five days a week. More hours a day would be better, but I also need some realism in terms of life interruptions — if I insist on every morning come hell or high water and don’t make it, that can feel like failure. Feeling like failure is bad for artists. We should feel like successes all the time. We are!

I need to have plans and goals and dreams. If life becomes too much grindstone, my spirit starts to fade. I need to have something to aim at. I’m looking forward to three weeks’ residency at the beautiful Tyrone Guthrie Centre in Ireland in February and March, where I can work every day in an atmosphere of artistic belief and support. To be in the studio all day every day — heaven! I’m also applying for a solo art exhibition. My last one was 4-1/2 years ago, and that’s too long. I used to exhibit really regularly. Getting back to that demanding and lovely state is a big goal right now.

What is one more thing you’d like to share to spark up our own creative fires?

Keep hope. Move towards light. “Because,” as Cathy Yardley said about life as your own story, “I know the damned thing works out.”

Thank you, Laureen!

In her own words: Laureen Marchand is a practicing artist and the owner of Grasslands Gallery.  She lives and works in Val Marie, Saskatchewan, Canada. Laureen has exhibited widely for over 25 years, showing in more than two dozen solo or two-person exhibitions, as well as over 30 group shows, including both single-location and touring exhibitions.

Laureen’s paintings have been recognized by major funders, are held in many public and private collections, and have been represented in exhibition catalogues and reviewed in newspapers and magazines. As well, she has contributed widely to Canada’s artistic community as organizer, teacher, writer, and curator. Laureen holds the Centennial Leadership Award for Service to the Province of Saskatchewan.

Laureen Marchand paints in her home studio in the winter and at Grasslands Gallery during the gallery’s summer season. Always aware of the darkness behind light, she explores in her paintings the relationship of appearance to reality. Her current artworks use the image of the rose to wonder about beauty, loss, and the passage of time.

Now tell me, what struck you most about Laureen’s interview? Share your responses below.

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

Is it just me, or did all this recent reflecting about The Year That Was and intentionizing about The Year That Is Yet To Be — before The Year That Was was even over — feel a little weird?

Nope — it’s not just me. The amazing and wonderful Havi just pointed out this very thing in a recent Very Personal Ad.

Ahhhh… Recognition!

And validation for the fact that, hey, I just need a little more time to process, thank you very much. And that’s okay. (Chris Guillebeau, how do you do it all by December 26?)

Seriously, if one has a goal of being more mindful throughout the year (and I do!), resting all one’s hopes and dreams on intentions set in late December feels a bit manic anyway, you know?

Deep sigh.

So let’s take a moment for some more reflecting and intentionizing, shall we?

3 Words for 2012

Every year since around 2006, superstar blogger Chris Brogan has been challenging people to come up with three words to help you define your goals and experiences for the coming year.

Last year, my then business partner, Heather, took this idea and assigned all of us working with her the task of choosing three words of our own for 2011. My words were Reach, Abundance, Serenity.

All well and good, except that I didn’t really do much to keep those words front-of-mind, and honestly forgot all about them until I re-read last year’s post…

Still, I like the idea of three words, and I’ve been thinking of what mine will be for 2012.

Self-compassion, for sure. But the others? Mull, mull, mull…

Then I happened to see Chris Brogan’s recent post, My 3 Words for 2012, and I had my answer. (More on that in a moment.)

12 Commitments

First, Chris shared a link to Jacqueline’s post, 12 in 12, that got me all excited. What a brilliant idea!

In short: 12 month-long daily commitments, one for each month of the year. #12in12.

I like it!

As I mentioned in The Great Bedtime Experiment post, time-limited challenges seem to work very well for me. I may pick some goals with the intention of using the month-long challenge to make a habit permanent, or I may choose a month-long goal purely as an experiment, to see if I even want to incorporate this practice/thing/habit into my life in this way. Or I might use it as a way to accomplish a closed-ended project.

Whichever, it’s a great way to create an arc to my year, and hopefully make some awesomelicious transformation!

Wanna join me?

If you need some ideas for what to do daily for an entire month, try one of Jacqueline’s suggestions:

*Any physical fitness activity (pushups, running, yoga, pilates, weight training, boxing, crossfit, walking, biking…) It can be the same one for the month, or a mix.

*Read everyday for a specific length of time (15min, 30min, 1hr…)

*Give up something (TV, sugar, complaining, alcohol, the elevator, twitter/facebook, coffee, texting, Starbucks/Dunkins, eating out…)

*Volunteer

*Write (Keep a journal, start a blog, hand write letters)

*Say hello/compliment a stranger

*Wake up 30-60min earlier

*Take one photo a day

*Meditate (if only for 5min/day and work your way up)

*Try one new food a day

*Learn one new word a day (or five!)

*Unplug by 7pm

*Cook all of your meals

*Look in the mirror and say “You are perfect. You matter. You can do achieve anything. I love you”

*Check your email only at set times of day

*Take public transportation

*Try a different eating philosophy (Vegan, Raw vegan, Paleo, Mediterranean, Vegetarian)

*Do cartwheels and handstands

My first commitment is The Great Bedtime Experiment: lights out by 11pm every night of January. (Quite a little band of “bedtime buddies” is forming around this commitment! Seems I’m not the only one who wants to change her relationship to sleep!)

I’ve also got some other commitments — including a top-secret pilot program I’m running with members of my Creative Ignition Club (one of the benefits of Club membership is getting to help me develop new programs and offerings). But I’ll keep those private for now…

Meanwhile…

Back to My 3 Words

To determine my goals for future months, I’m following Chris’s example and using my three words as a starting place.

I’ve already got Self-compassion, as I mentioned. Which means that I will treat myself with utmost care and compassion. This includes adequate sleep (Great Bedtime Experiment!), and it also means giving myself yoga, walks and other exercise. Eating well and mindfully. Being mindful of where I invest my time and energy, and what media I consume. And, of course, forgiveness, and humane (rather than Super-Human) expectations.

My other two words I’m stealing directly from Chris Brogan, because they captured so exactly what I want for this coming year:

Untangle — What a perfect word to express the desire I have to streamline, to create and build from a place of authenticity and groundedness. To unhook as best I can from my frozen need for external approval. To get rid of stuff I don’t need, both physical and mental. To (as Chris so aptly put it) “stop acting like I have ADD and focus on a few things and do those well, instead of a lot of things and just barely succeed.” Yes. Ahhhhh. Exactly. Thank you, Chris!

Practice — As Chris Brogan says, “the practice is the reward.” I discovered this viscerally when I embarked on my rediscovery of my art with my 15 Minutes-a-Day creative challenge. Hell, I’ve known it for a loooong time. Yet maintaining practice is hard for me! I fall off the wagon continually, and have to practice getting back on. My intention for 2012 is to keep coming back to practice — in my art, my business, my music, my writing, my physical practices. (Thank you again, Chris!)

Self-Compassion. Untangle. Practice.

Last year, my words felt like a patch. A last-minute scrambling to fulfill an assignment.

This year, my words feel true. Emerging from a place deep inside. These are the three major themes that I need right now. My intention is to use these words as a touchstone throughout this year. It’s hard to imagine I would ever choose any other 3 words, but we’ll see how I feel in another 360 days or so. ;)

Onward!

What 3 words will define you and/or your challenges and intentions for 2012? What is your commitment for January? Let’s talk about them in the comments, or blog your own 3 words post and leave links in the comments. Let’s make 2012 a year of amazing action and creative abundance!

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!