Have you ever noticed how,
when you long for something for ages,
saving up for it,
plotting & scheming how you’re going to get it,
once you finally have it,
it’s not as sparkly as you imagined it would be?
The colors not as vivid,
flavors not as intense.
My first marriage was like that.
Graduating from college.
The Gloria Vanderbilt jeans I ached for for months in 8th grade.
Is this it?
Really?
Just a little man behind a curtain?
The Emerald City glows so much brighter from a distance.
Process Notes:
As this project progresses, I notice myself getting more and more critical of what comes out on those little index cards, more self-conscious that — sh*t — this stuff is going to be public! What was I thinking???
Confession: today is not the first day I’ve filled up more than one 3×5 card, because the first was just too embarrassing to post. Ahem.
In keeping with the original intention of the project, then, here is a pic of all three of today’s cards, not just the one that was “least cringeworthy” enough to officially post.
My goal of freely writing, unhampered by the inner critic, and my goal of writing things I’m actually pleased with, seem so often to be at odds with one another.
But then, that’s exactly why I’m doing this in the first place.
Onward!
[scs_alt]
PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!
