Frustrated with Your Calligraphy (Or ANY Creative Skill You’re Trying to Learn)? Here’s Help!

Hey Letter-Lover,

Do you ever feel frustrated with your lettering? Like it’s never going to be as good as you want it to be?

Boy, I sure do! Story of my LIFE!

In fact, I was sharing in my Creative Sandbox community just this week that nothing brings out my perfectionist gremlins like calligraphy!

Letters are such small, precise forms. A half a millimeter in this direction or that could throw everything off!

But here’s the thing:

Yes, precision is wonderful. And yes, mastery and excellence are great to aim for.

But they are not everything!

If you’re not having fun, what’s the point?

Truth: part of

what makes it fun for me is the challenge.

Perhaps you’re the same — if it’s too easy, there’s no sense of satisfaction.

Effort is part of the equation.

But sometimes it feels like it’s all effort and no payoff. And if the effort does not also incorporate some joy? Forget it!

After all:

The purpose is joy!

I try to always keep this front of mind.

My gremlins still creep in, though…

In fact, every single time I share my calligraphy, my gremlins tell me it isn’t good enough!

Every. Single. Time.

So why do I keep at it, if my gremlins harangue me every time I share my calligraphy?

My Secret

I keep at it because I have a practice of intentional imperfectionism.

 

This does not mean sloppiness!

Nor does it mean settling for mediocrity, though it may sound like it.

No, imperfectionism is simply the practice of acknowledging and accepting that I am human, and forgiving myself for being human, while I also strive to improve.

I accept that I am not a master yet, and I allow myself to enjoy where I am, while at the same time aiming and working to be better.

It’s a delicate balance, and one that I only started to come to in my late 30s, when I started studying jazz singing.

My Story of Perfectionist Pain

Ten years before that, I had just started diving into calligraphy, and it pained me deeply that I wasn’t as good as my heroes.

I would literally weep while leafing through the pages of Letter Arts Review, because I knew I’d never be as good as my calligraphy heroes!

Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain!

A decade later, when I signed up for my first jazz vocal solo class at the local community college, I felt just as eager (even desperate) to get good at this new pursuit as I had as a newbie calligrapher.

But this time I was able to actually enjoy where I was in the process.

It wasn’t all pain anymore, and oh, what a difference that made!

I still experienced frustration as I climbed the learning curve, but I didn’t torment myself for not being a savant. Instead, I was able to treat myself my gently and kindly.

Hint: Imperfectionism is, in fact, the exact same thing as self-compassion.

Imperfectionism is learning to stop beating yourself up, and love yourself up instead.

Sharing imperfect work is some pretty powerful imperfectionism at work!

When those gremlins come out in force, I want to run and hide, but my practice is to embrace the vulnerability and share anyway.

Scary stuff.

But let me tell you, the more accustomed I become to sharing imperfect work, regardless of what anyone else might say or think, the more empowered I become! The more I’m able to create for me, for the joy of it, instead of in an attempt to impress others.

And yes, that’s what sharing was for me for a long time: an attempt to impress. To prove that I’m enough, that I’m worthy.

Hooboy, is that a trap, because nobody else can make you feel worthy — you have to own it for yourself. Until you own your enoughness, trying to get it from other people is like trying to fill a bottomless pit.

Practicing imperfectionism, on the other hand, is almost like growing a suit of armor!

 
When I can forgive myself for being human, accept myself as I am instead of how I wish to be, and love myself up instead of beating myself up, what anyone else might think of me and my work has so much less of a hold on me.

It’s kind of magical. I wish I’d figured this out back in my 20s. Heck, I wish I’d been taught to practice imperfectionism in school!

Alas, nobody taught this stuff back then. But the good news is, it’s learnable now! At any age.

All it takes is setting the intention to allow yourself to be imperfect.

And remember, you get to do this while pursuing excellence and mastery at the same time.

And perhaps the most important thing to remember is that you get to practice imperfectionism in your practice of imperfectionism! You get to practice self-compassion in your practice of self-compassion!

In other words, if you find yourself slipping back into perfectionist habits, and you start getting down on yourself and beating yourself up, guess what — you get to notice that, forgive yourself, and love yourself up!

It’s a practice, baby. And I’m practicing right alongside you.

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!