One of my recent consulting clients, the phenomenally talented Shenee of Eight Thirty Five, invited me to be a stop on her story tour. Enjoy, then be sure to click through to the rest of the tour stops.
The other day I read yet another story of yet another blogger whose blog struck a chord, took off and earned her a handsome full-time income in under a year.
In a flash, I felt the jaws of the Comparison Trap start to close around my psyche once again.
Doubts
Why hadn’t I managed to make such a success out of my online efforts? What was wrong with me? Was I simply a failure, destined to spend my life working at building an internet empire that never quite makes it? Should I throw in the towel and just give up altogether?
I recognized this feeling. Something about this was familiar…
Then it hit me that I’d felt this way not so long ago, back when I was single and looking, on the quest to find a life partner.
Persistence
While other single women I knew found “The One” on their first or second internet date, I persevered for years, through dozens of dates (57 in one 2 1/2 year period alone).
There were times when I wondered if I’d still be single and looking in my 80s.
How I envied those other women! It seemed to come so easily for them. Where was my special guy?
It may not be love at first sight, but it’s my story and I’m sticking with it
From my present time perspective, I understand that my story is just different. No less romantic (in fact, I would argue even more so, though I’ll admit I’m a little biased). No less special, just different.
Where others have stories of love at first sight, my story is of persistence and patience, of a slow boil, of taking the time to really get to know myself and to discover that the person I’d never seen as a “contender” was, in fact, the best of the bunch.
Instead of love at first sight, my story is of gradually wandering into love.
Perhaps, I realized, the story of my business isn’t a story of failure, but of gradual evolution, just like the story of my relationship. It seems I’m not one of the blessed destined for overnight success, but that’s not the only valid route.
One more story of persistence
Stories are powerful. Stories can offer hope, a vision of possibility. The simple act of retelling myself my story of slow success in my dating life shored me up for the path ahead in my business life.
As I write this, it’s Theodor Geisel’s birthday. You know Theodor Geisel? He’s better known as much-loved children’s book author Dr. Seuss.
How’s this for a story of persistence: Dr. Seuss’s first children’s book was rejected by at least 27 publishers. Geisel almost burned the manuscript after so many rejections, but it finally did get published, and sold 6 million copies.
Stories of success come with lots of different plot lines. Pick the ones that work for you.
I love this. It’s a wonderful way to use the joys in our lives to help shine the light on our challenging times.
Thanks Carla! Looking back always helps me look forward more clearly, and it was a delightful discovery that my current challenges are so parallel to my past ones… and current joys! 🙂
I’m taking an eclass right now and we just talked about this exact subject. It’s so hard to not fall into the comparison trap, isn’t it? So hard to recognize our own gifts, or see ourselves as others my see us.
My story is like yours – slow and gradual, but truth is, I think I like that way the best. Plus, I think anyone can be an overnight success if given enough time to get ready, don’t you?
You’ve really hit it on the nose, Brandi: “overnight” success most often happens to those who have spent years preparing for it. 🙂
Either way, steady progress forward is always good.
(And btw, what a visual feast your Color Palette Blog Walk is! Yum!)
Melissa,
Our stories bind us, like chords of spirit reaching out when we share. Your story? 57 dates in 2.5 years. Mine? 54 in 2. Perhaps we can compare notes at #WDS!
xoS
OMG, Sandi, I cannot WAIT to sit down and compare notes at #WDS! Most of my dates (about 44 out of the 57) were in the last 18 months or so. Quite a whirlwind… And an amazing self-growth experience too.
Looking forward to some juicy conversations! 🙂
Patience, Grasshopper, patience 😀 ::hugs::
I think it is a moment where you should be looking at exactly how far you’ve come. Look at what you’ve achieved in just the last few months! Yowser!
And then there is J K Rowling…how many times was she rejected???? A lot. How much money does she have now? A lot. Maybe those amounts have a mathematical relationship? 😀
Remember there are people looking up at you, hon. And the only way they can be looking up, is because you’ve climbed so high.
::hugs::
Nutty
(who might join you up there one day)
Indeed. I think I am the LEAST PATIENT PERSON on the planet.
But yes, it’s important to look where I’ve come FROM, rather than just where I’m trying to get TO. And you’re right — no matter where I am, there are always people I look up to, and others who look up to me. 🙂
Thanks for the hugs and encouragement! 🙂
xo
m
Thank you so much for this reminder!
Things will happen in their own time, and trying to force them generally does not end well.
I didn’t find my sweetie until I’d given up looking.
I need to remember to give my business the same space to grow. :>
Just saw this, Birdy! Oh how right you are: forcing generally doesn’t work out so great…
So glad you *did* find your sweetie, even though you gave up (funny, that!) Finding your true business heart can take awhile too, I’m discovering…
The comparison trap is a BEAST. Absolutely crippling. Have you noticed the physical feelings that go with it? It’s like a bad chemical rushing through your veins.
Thanks for you post and encouragement.
Yes, you’re so right Peter! The physical feeling is really palpable! Bleah…
Thanks for commenting! 🙂