Oh geez, Christmas is, like, on Saturday! And you’re not ready, are you?
Don’t worry – I’ve got a solution.
If you’re ready to be rescued from your Christmas-gift woes and have no time for entertainment, scroll down right now to get to the point.
Hurry! Time’s a-wasting!
———-
For the rest of you, the organized ones with the already-checked-off gift lists (or the procrastinators and lazy people who just don’t have sense of urgency, god bless ’em), I didn’t want to leave you out, so here’s a little story:
My Family’s Crazy-Wild Christmas Party
Back in the day, my family used to make a huge deal about Christmas. Tree, ornaments, Advent calendars, stockings, presents.. the whole shebang.
(Yes, I’m Jewish, but that’s from my mom’s side; my dad comes from a line of Protestant Brits, Scots and Germans, so Santa Claus definitely came to our house.)
It was all so exciting I couldn’t stand it
My dad used these crazy-bright lights to take home movies, so my memories of Christmas morning are of magic and sparkly brightness.
However, I think my issues with insomnia started during childhood Christmas season. I’d go to bed on Christmas Eve and be totally unable to sleep from excitement. (Hmmm… Could be a good thing to bring up in a co-counseling session…)
Then it got stressful
And as I got older, Christmas meant multiple trips to the shopping mall, scrambling (and lots of impatient waiting) to find parking, elbowing my way through the crowds to try and find the perfect (or face it, just adequate) gift for the last few people on the list.
Oh, the stress. You could cut it with a knife.
Then we got smart
Eventually, we wised up and scaled back. Perhaps assisted by the fact that my parents got more involved at my synagogue, and Pop actually converted a few years back, much to the surprise of the rest of us.
None of us, though, is what anyone would call an “observant Jew.”
In fact, my mom was probably the most reluctant to “give up Christmas,” and today, my family does what I refer to as a “residual Christmas.”
The only tree is the stuffed one my mom made when I was in 6th grade, which sits on the piano, trimmed with ric-rac and little red glass balls. The more interesting ornaments we collected throughout the years adorn the household furniture in sprightly little clusters. (My mom really knows how to do the decorating-for-the-season thing.)
Enter the infamous “gift exchange”
Our celebration has shrunk to a dinner potluck on the evening of the 25th (with probably more Jews in attendance than actual Christmas-celebrators) and the gift-giving has been pared down to the following: each person brings one gift, valued at not more than about $15. Said gift must be wrapped, and not tagged in any way, so as to be anonymous.
After we’ve stuffed ourselves on the potluck feast, we gather in a big circle and the “crazy-ass gift exchange game” commences.
Though it’s not technically accurate to call it a gift exchange. More like a battle to the death.
Where stealing is condoned and encouraged
It works like this: everyone gets a number, and one at a time gets to either open a gift on the table, or steal an already opened gift from someone else. If your gift is stolen, you get to then either open a wrapped gift, or steal one from somebody else, and so on. Ad nauseum.
The rule is, the gift rests after the 3rd steal. (Or is it the 2nd steal? The rules are the subject of great debate every year, which frequently takes almost as much time as the game itself.)
This is no “white elephant” game, either; the goal here is to be the supplier of the gift that is stolen the most, and you can sense the pride of those who manage to tap that magical je ne sais quoi that makes for a much-fought-over gift.
Food and wine usually go over very well (especially when they involve chocolate), though one memorable year a mini-umbrella almost broke up some lifelong friendships.
You’d be amazed at the lengths people are willing to go to snag their coveted $15 gift of choice. Voices are raised. Alliances are formed and broken and formed again.
It’s the E-ticket of the season.
So what’s the point of all this?
Your family probably celebrates Christmas in a much more “normal” manner, in which case you probably have a lot of people to get gifts for, and I know there’s somebody on your list that still has you stymied. (Maybe even yourself!)
Or maybe you’ve procrastinated, or you’re just a lazy-ass kinda person who couldn’t be bothered to fight your way through the crowds at the mall (or get your lazy butt in front of your computer screen back when Christmas delivery was a viable option).
Whatever. I pass no judgment.
I am, however, about to save your butt, lazy or not.
How?
With my extra-special Holiday Promo!
–>(Procrastinators, lazy people, and anyone else interested, here’s where you stop scrolling and start reading again.)<–
What, you ask, is my extra-special Holiday Promo? It’s actually two different things:
Thing 1:
An amazing half off all consulting services through the end of the year.
Thing 2:
Special Thriving Artists Project full-year membership for less than what a basic 18-week membership will cost when I officially open the doors again in a few week.
Yep, that’s right! Here’s the deal:
Thing 1: Half Off Consulting Services
Sign up for consulting for yourself or someone else by December 31, and you get half off my current prices.
That’s a half hour session of “Whip Your Website Into Shape” Consulting, or “Master the Internet” Technology Mentoring, or “Get Unstuck” Creative Consulting — or any combination thereof — for $85 only $42.50
Or a full hour session for $150 only $75
Or a package of four hour-long sessions for (egad, I can’t believe I’m doing this!) $500 only $250
Why, pray tell, am I making such a crazy offer?
Because I’m feeling extra generous. Because it’s the holiday season, and I’m so phenomenally happy with my life and how I’m thriving that I want to pass that feeling on to you, and help you thrive without something silly like money getting in the way.
Want more info? Check out my services page and click through for details on the particular consulting you’re interested in. Then come back here to select your service and sign up.
Unless you want to pay me full price, which is okay by me, but kinda silly when you don’t have to.
Remember, these special prices go away on January 1 (and no, you don’t have to actually schedule your session before Jan 1, I probably won’t have time anyway; you just have to pay for it.)
Oh, and I’ll even throw in a special downloadable gift certificate, which you can print out and give to your giftee (or email them if you’re really short on time)
Sign me up!
Yes, I want consulting services for HALF PRICE!
(for me or as a gift for someone else)
Thing 2: Full-Year Membership in the Thriving Artists Project for hella cheap!
Buy a membership — for yourself or someone else — in the Thriving Artists Project by December 24, and get a full year of access to all content for only $67.
When I open the doors to the public in a few weeks, this level of membership access will be over four times this price, so if you’re considering buying in, now’s the time. There will not be an offer like this again.
What’s included? You can get full details here, but in a nutshell:
- 20 MP3 audio interviews with: artists and creatives who are making their living from their creative thing; artist business coaches; and other professionals with great info to share
- Video and PDF lessons with useful tips, marketing secrets, business basics, information, resources and inspiration
- Worksheets and checklists to help you deprogram yourself of the “starving artist” mentality, to help you set clear goals and to keep you moving forward
- Resource lists of useful tools, products & services for artists and creatives (plus updates!)
- Periodic additional email updates & reminders to keep you inspired, motivated and thriving into the future
- Exclusive Members Forum where you can ask questions (the best of which I use to create new lessons), share how things are going and connect with other creatives
- Exclusive “Website Makeover” & Q+A webinar to whip a lucky member’s website into shape and address whatever questions come up for you during the course ($27 value)
Plus bonuses:
- Additional audio interviews delivered over the course of the entire year
- Four free Sandbox Sessions with me to help you get unstuck. These 3-hour productivity sessions offer support, accountability and (gentle) butt-kicking, and are the perfect way to get your projects done ($40 value)
- Automatic affiliate membership and a generous commission (up to 51% after the official launch), means that you can make back what you paid for the course!
- Special pricing on One-on-One Consulting and Mentoring with me — 25% off for the duration of your membership
- Additional partner bonuses TBD, special discounts on products and services from my partners
Plus:
- I’ll even throw in a special downloadable gift certificate, which you can print out and give to your giftee (or email them if you’re really short on time)
When I open the doors to the public, a full-year membership in the Thriving Artists Project will start off at $297 (and probably go up from there), but if you buy by midnight on December 24, you get it all for $67.
Just sayin’.
Why so cheap?
Again, ’cause I’m in the holiday spirit. And I want to help you thrive without a silly thing like money getting in the way.
And also because I’m still in the process of creating content for the course, and I want you to be one of the guinea pigs in my test laboratory (mwah-ha-ha-ha!!) The initial group of Thriving Artists Project members actually has the power to set the course of the course (as it were) so it delivers exactly what you need to grow your own thriving creative business.
Sign me up!
Yes, I want the Thriving Artists Project!
(for me or as a gift for someone else)
[Sorry, this offer is no longer available.]
Want more info? Click here to read more about the Thriving Artists Project, but be sure to come back, because this page right here is the only place where you’ll have access to this offer.
‘Nuff said. Happy Holidays!
