They’re here! Yes, I’ve actually been handing them out.
Do I feel a little dorky? You betcha.
But I’m doing it anyway.
Own it, baby!
Renaissance Woman Business Cards
On the Pursuit of… Pursuit?
In which the author rambles on about creativity and the pursuit of excellence, and ultimately ends with a non sequitur about canine games.
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If there’s one thing I love, it’s a creative skill. (Not a big surprise to you, no doubt, gentle imaginary reader, given the title of this blog.)
I’ve been a dancer, an artist, a singer, a writer, you name it. Every Bliss I’ve followed I’ve endeavored to achieve mastery at (with varying degrees of success), but sometime within the past five years or so I discovered something important: it isn’t the mastery of a skill that makes me happy; it’s the pursuit of mastery.
This little discovery has actually been life-changing.
The beginnings of being a beginner
At age 16 I discovered dance (Bliss #1, though at the time I wasn’t aware there would be more than one.) I fell madly, passionately in love with it, and within a few months I was in dance classes three to six hours a day, every day.
I was a woman on a mission: to become a Professional Dancer. And not just that, but to become the best damned dancer I could be.
This part was especially important, and I spent a great deal of time and energy:
A) lamenting that I wasn’t a better dancer than I was, and
B) wishing, desperately, to be really, really good.
Since I was a beginner at an age when many Professional Dancers were already embarking on their professional careers, I felt over the hill at 16, hopelessly behind the curve. Being a beginner was merely a painful stage that I had to endure on my way to becoming really, really good.
Allowing myself to try something that I didn’t already do well – to be awkward and bad at it en route to getting good – was hard!
As fate would have it, I was sidelined by an injury before I ever got to prove myself or fulfill my “potential,” and I spent several years in a state of semi- to downright-miserable depression. Eventually, though, I got on with my life, graduated from college, got a masters degree en route to a PhD (thinking I wanted to become an academic), realized (thankfully) that the ivory tower wasn’t for me, and at age 28 I picked up a calligraphy pen and discovered Bliss #2.
A beginner again… and again
Once again, it seemed terribly important that I become really, really good at this new thing, preferably as quickly as possible.
And once again, I spent a lot of time and energy at A and B above (substituting calligrapher for dancer, of course).
Once again I was a beginner, which I still viewed as a painful but necessary state to escape from as quickly as possible.
About ten years later I discovered another Bliss, and found myself as a beginner yet again, this time with a microphone in a class on jazz vocal technique.
I was terrified, and yes, I wanted to be really, really good, preferably as quickly as possible, but there was a distinct difference this time around. By this time in my life and self-development, I was actually okay with being a beginner, okay with where I was.
Sure, I still wanted to be over there, and my goal was to get there, but I was also able to enjoy being right here, right now. I noticed I did not waste (much) energy on A and B, but instead was actually able to enjoy being a beginner and allow myself to fully experience the process of growing into my art.
What was the difference?
For one thing, at age 38 I’d already established a solid identity for myself as an Artist. I’d achieved some things, and felt secure in who I was. My ego wasn’t dependent on other people thinking I was really, really good at this one thing, because I already knew I was okay at other things in my life.
This was really important.
But equally important was the discovery that mastery of the skill is not what creates happiness for me.
Mastery is great – the more mastery you achieve, the more freedom and fun you can have doing the thing, and this is good. But happiness, for me, is in the journey, not the destination.
So, it turns out, the Pursuit of Mastery is part and parcel with the Pursuit of Happiness.
And here’s another thing: ever since I made the commitment to put creating the life I really, really want at the center of my world, I’ve been creating every day, and I’ve been a helluva lot happier.
In a certain sense, in the very process of striving to create the life I really, really want, I’m actually already living the life I really, really want. (Though still without the financial security part, unfortunately; I haven’t yet manifested great gobs of cash from my daily bursts of creative activity. Patience… patience…)
The Pursuit of Happiness, it turns out, is actually what makes me happy.
And finally, the canine games part
I guess this shouldn’t be so surprising. After all, the thrill is in the chase, right? If you throw a ball for a dog, doesn’t she just usually bring it right back for another throw?
It seems my life is simply one big game of fetch. Which, if you think about it, is kind of a cool metaphor.
It sure makes my over-complicated existence seem a helluva lot less serious, and a helluva lot more fun.
PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!
My Identity Crisis: Solved by a Title? Or “What’s In A Name?”
Today I made what feels like a pivotal decision. I’ve been “identity crisis girl” for way too long, and I think I’ve finally found the solution. For years I’ve been tip-toeing my way around it, but in one fell swoop I’ve finally consolidated all of my identities into one: Renaissance Woman.
This may not sound like such a big deal to you, gentle imaginary reader, since I already describe myself as such pretty much everywhere you look all over this blog (as well as on my other blogs, KetubahDiva and The Dating Queen), but since the change is internal, it’s actually quite huge.
And here’s the thing: I’m now claiming it (“Renaissance Woman”) as my official job title.
That’s right, with business cards and all. In fact, it was the business card idea that make me bust through a block and finally, once and for all, just CLAIM that identity! Woot!
A somewhat interesting (at least to me) background story
Several weeks ago, while at the theater with my then-bf/now-ex-bf, I was on the fringe of a conversation that he was having with a stranger he’d chatted up in the lobby during intermission. When said stranger asked him what kind of work he did, he replied “I’m a writer,” pulled out his card, and elaborated on the writing niche he occupied.
Then the stranger turned to me.
Ack! What to say?! I’d only a week or so before officially launched my own writing business, so I was trying on that identity and also wanting to network as a writer, so I said, “I’m actually a writer too. I help businesses communicate more effectively with their marketing materials: brochures, newsletters, ads, case studies, press releases, websites, etc.”
But then, not wanting to miss an opportunity to network around my other offerings, I handed him my “Artist” card, and explained that I also make fine art documents and stationery for weddings and other lifecycle events…
Okay…
And then (oh, stop me) I pulled out one of my CD samplers, and told him that, btw, I’m also a jazz singer and songwriter…
Oh, the pain.
When we got back to our seats, the then-bf/now-ex-bf expressed what can only be called disgust with my over-enthusiastic card-handing-out. A stranger in the lobby of a theater you hand THREE BUSINESS CARDS for god’s sake? Gauche, indeed. Have some restraint, girl!
I was horribly humiliated. He was right, of course, that handing a stranger a passel of business cards upon first meeting is just … not cool. Yuck.
Resolving the multiple-business-card/multiple-identities crisis
But what is someone like me supposed to do? Just giving someone one card – say, my writer card – leaves a huge chunk of what I do and who I am out of the equation. Of course, if you work at ABC Accounting Firm and you hand someone your card, you don’t expect that they will think all you do with your time is accounting. Quite the contrary; they will assume you make your income from accounting, and probably have some kind of life and identity outside of being an accountant (or whatever job title you hold at ABC).
What gets a little tricky is when your job and your identity are so closely merged. And when you have multiple businesses, each of which is merged with said identity to one degree or another (even if some of them make more income than others).
It’s an interesting situation in which to find oneself.
And today, I have stumbled upon a solution that will finally allow me to hand out one business card, while proudly maintaining my right to own each of my multiple identities, because they are now all wrapped up in one: “Renaissance Woman.”
That’s what my new business card says, with various subtitles and their associated URLs on the back. No more will I have to say “I’m a writer, and artist, and singer/songwriter,” or “I’m an artist.. and musician.. and I write, too..” or any other variation thereof.
I am, from this point forward, hereby claiming my new job title as Renaissance Woman.
Man, it feels good!
Just to say…
Okay, it’s late, I really need to get some rest (one of my commitments to myself), but I am so jazzed that someone posted a comment on one of my posts that I had to express my excitement!
My ex-bf used to say “Always interpret omens favorably” (probably still does, though I wouldn’t actually know about that.) I don’t know if those were his words, or if he borrowed them from someone else, but I have taken them to heart. And I’m taking the fact that someone posted a comment here, the day after I started the dang thing, as a favorable omen!
In my experience, whenever my life is in Flow, when I’m on the Right Path, the Universe has a way of letting me know. When I started making art, within a span of a few months I had THREE articles published about me and my art in local newspapers. That’s what I’m talking about.
This is the Universe’s way of saying, “Yeah, honey, FINALLY you’re doing what we’ve been trying to get you to do for years (you dang fool)! Keep going!”
Meanwhile, my ex-ex-bf (you know, the one before the most recent ex), whom I adore, just sent me an email praising my “brilliance” (his word) for my other blog, The Dating Queen (which may or may not be of interest to you, dear imaginary reader, but in case you’re curious, it’s aimed at savvy single women, and is subtitled “find yourself while looking for love,” and in fact, the theme is really pretty much the same as this blog when you come right down to it, but since I may not feel compelled to write forever about dating I figured it made sense to also create a blog about something I know I’ll feel compelled to write about forever, and which also doesn’t have an imaginary audience that’s limited to single women – capice?)
I realize from your perspective I may be grasping at straws, but I am choosing to interpret all omens/signs/messages favorably, no matter how small, thank you very much!
And today I did a lot of Bliss-following! I wrote a lot, I painted and made major headway on several new pieces for my new Zazzle shop, and oh, btw, did I mention I created a new Zazzle shop? It doesn’t look the way I want it to yet, but it’s got stuff on it, and I’ve actually sold something already!
And that is for sure another message from the Universe.
So tonight I feel like I’m on the path of following my evolving Blisses, or at least some of them anyway. (Music and dance are getting short shrift these days, though I did play guitar for a few minutes this morning – musn’t forget about that!) And I also treated myself to a fun social outing (or inning? is it still an outing if you actually go to someone else’s house?), because the semi-private calligraphy class that I’ve been teaching got rescheduled (one student’s sick, another has a deadline) so my evening was free, and rather than work all night – my typical M.O., being, as you’ve most likely already gathered, gentle imaginary reader, a rather driven sort – I decided to get out and be with people. Because being with people that I enjoy is one of the things that makes me happy, and my commitment to myself is to create the life I really, really want, which includes all the things that make me happy, not just the creating part. Capice?
So all in all it’s been a great day.
Poem: The Journey, by Mary Oliver
One of my tools to keep me on the right track is to sign up – and read – any and all newsletters that will inspire and energize me. Of these, one of my biggest inspirations is Chris Guillebeau, the creator of The Art of Nonconformity.
In today’s AONC newsletter Chris posted a poem by the amazing Mary Oliver, whose work has always moved and inspired me.
What perfect, serendipitous timing!
Oliver expresses exactly what I’m feeling right now. I’m reposting it here in the hopes that it may inspire you, my imaginary audience.
The Journey
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late enough,
and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world, determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~Mary Oliver
