
YOU. Inside your own sweet skin is where the gold is. Don’t forget that! #sunday #morning #calligraphy #quote



It’s time for another classic from the archives! Having just returned from a week at Jazz Camp West, it seemed appropriate to pull this one out, originally published on September 25, 2011, and inspired by a teacher at Jazz Camp West a couple of years ago. Enjoy! xoMelissa
You know that little voice that whispers in your ear, “You suck!” Yeah, that one.
The Suck Duck sits on your shoulder, waiting for the right moment to quack at you:
“Ew. That’s not good enough! Who do you think you’re kidding? You suck!“
“You’re not qualified to do that! You suck!“
“Man, oh, man, what in the hell were you thinking trying something new? Just stick with what you know, you dummy! You suck!“
“Oh, no – not perfect. Into the trash can that goes! You suck!“
The voice of perfectionism. The Suck Duck is one manifestation of that bain of all creatives: resistance.
Or as Steven Pressfield calls it, in his gem of a book, The War of Art, Resistance.
I love how Pressfield personifies Resistance, as an entity with will and malignant intent. Somehow the metaphor makes it easier to wrap one’s head around. Easier to identify the enemy and take arms against it.
And when the metaphor is a duck,** well, it just brings it down to size, doesn’t it?
A duck, say a rubber duck, could be drop-kicked out the window, for example.***
Or locked up in a cupboard.
Or even, I don’t know, made friends with and transformed into a friendly duck, perhaps.****
It’s all up to you and your personal style.
Whatever, the whole point is, when that voice starts quacking at you, recognize it for what it is: the Suck Duck. NOT benign reality.
Then dispatch it.
The Suck Duck is hard to kill (and hey, I’m not one for violence anyway‡), but here’s what you can do: Take the Suck Duck off your shoulder, and put it in another room.
Or drop-kick the Suck Duck out the window.
Or buy the Suck Duck an imaginary plane ticket to Timbuktu and send him off.
I assure you, the Suck Duck will probably find its way back, and more quickly than you’d like. So just send it off again.
The point is, make a habit of noticing when the Suck Duck is talking to you (hint: it often sounds a lot like you, and/or a lot like The Truth).
And make a habit of taking the Suck Duck off your shoulder and drop-kicking it out the window (or whatever).
That’s one of the things I do when I teach or lead Playshops, classes or retreats: I remind people – over and over if necessary – to banish the Suck Duck. Because really, not much creative amazingness can happen when the Suck Duck is in the room.
That is why, although I’m extremely uncomfortable with the entire notion of hunting (you know, like with rifles and stuff), I believe all artists and creatives should go hunting for the Suck Duck, preferably on a very regular basis.
Let me know how your Suck Duck hunting goes. How many times did you spot the Suck Duck today, this week, this month? And what did you do to dispatch it?

*Kid Beyond, one of my favorite teachers at Jazz Camp West, was the first person I heard refer to the Suck Duck. I am blatantly stealing his metaphor to share with you here, but I totally got it from him. Just so you know. Visit his website, go watch him perform, love him up. He’s awesome.
**For any Fluent Self/Havi Brooks fans out there, huge apologies to Selma. The Suck Duck is an entirely different species of duck, no relation to Selma. Not a real duck (of either the feathery or rubber variety) at all. Just so you know.
***Obviously you wouldn’t do this with a real duck. I’m very partial to ducks, and would never want to do anything to intentionally or unintentionally encourage cruelty to ducks, or any other animals.*******
****Okay, I threw that one in there for any soft-hearted readers who can’t stomach the idea of dispatching a duck, even of the evil, fantastical and metaphoric variety. Me, I’m all for dispatching. But of course ONLY the evil, fantastical and metaphoric variety. (See *** above.)
***** My favorite charity, fyi, to which I send money every month, is Animals Asia, which works to stop cruelty to moon bears (and also dogs and cats) in China and Vietnam. They ROCK! Check them out!
******With the possible exception of mosquitoes. And fleas. And cockroaches. Though in truth I wouldn’t want to encourage cruelty towards them (I really do believe that cruelty is just plain wrong, even to annoying insects) but I have been known to kill my fair share (sorry PETA).
‡See ***** above.
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When I was a kid, one of the best parts of the weekend was my dad’s sourdough.
Living in the San Francisco Bay Area, we were lucky to share our home with microorganisms that make the best sourdough on the planet, and my dad had it down to an art form. On Friday or Saturday night he’d pull out the ceramic container that lived in the fridge, mix the weird-smelling sponginess inside together with flour and water, cover the bowl with a dish towel and put it up on the top of the cupboard, near the ceiling, where the sourdough-making beasties were most likely to hang out and add their magic to the mix.
The next morning we’d be treated to a super-sour batch of pancakes (my favorite) or waffles (my brother’s favorite), or sometimes biscuits (okay, I lied — these were definitely my favorite).
Weekend brunches were the best at my house!
In addition to the quickbreads above, there were a couple of years there when Pop also made killer sourdough bread once or twice a week. He even bought a special set of Pyrex™ baking tubes, which made eerily perfect cylindrical loaves, which we in turn sliced into perfect rounds of bread.
Sourdough bread is definitely best toasted, and the toaster in our house got a lot of use.
Which meant, of course, that we got very practiced at buttering said toast.
My dad was the pro — his toast was always impeccably buttered, with an even layer of melted butter (or more likely in our house, margarine) from edge to edge. Mom’s technique was more slapdash, resulting in a big lump of butter (margarine) in the center, with the toast getting progressively drier and more butter-poor the closer you got to the crust.
Mom loves butter (margarine too, actually), and would be happy to eat it straight out of the carton, so her technique worked great for her needs. When you’re sprinkling your cinnamon sugar, however, and you want it to cling consistently to every millimeter of your toast round, a mostly-dry piece of toast with a chunk of partially-melted butter (or margarine) in the center just doesn’t cut it.
I was determined to learn to butter toast like my dad did. What was Pop’s secret?
Edges.
Pop learned a saying from someone else (his own father, perhaps?), which stuck with me:
“Butter around the outside, and the inside will take care of itself.”
Or, to be a little clearer:
“Butter along the edges, and the middle will take care of itself.”
In other words, start spreading your butter not in the middle, but along the outer edges, by the crust. As you circle around your slice of toast, keep spreading the butter at the outer edge of the still-dry part of the toast. You’ll end up buttering in an ever tightening spiral, until at last you reach the center.
It’s a thing of beauty.
What does this have to do with living a creative life?
I will explain, dear reader.
Several months back I had a half-day studio session with Cairene.
(Brief interruption to say: Run, do not walk, to work with this woman! And no, that is not an affiliate link. Virtual hugs to the wonderful Laureen for pointing me in Cairene’s direction. And yes, it’s a random coincidence that their names sort of rhyme.)
When the student is ready, the teacher appears, they say. I was oh-so ready for Cairene, who pointed out (among many other things) the importance of giving attention to the edges of your work: exits, endings, transitions from one “container” to the next.
The time I spend writing this post, for example, is a container. At some point I’ll need to shift my attention away from writing a blog post and toward the next thing.
Picking my sweetie up at the airport, say. That’s another container, and something else I have to do today (in about twenty minutes, as it happens).
If I’m going to get to the airport in a timely fashion, so my sweetie doesn’t have to wait out on the curb for a ridiculous amount of time, I need to plan ahead not just for the time it will take me to drive to the airport, but for the time it will take me to transition out of writing a blog post and into the next thing.
What do I need to do to wrap up my writing session? Save the blog post, or if it’s done, schedule it for publication. Bring my attention out of my computer and onto what I need to get myself safely to the airport.
But I actually need to do a lot more than that.
In this case, I need to put on some real clothes (unless I want to drive to the airport in my pajamas), feed the cat — and, oh, yeah, since I’m dog-sitting for my parents’ German Shepherd, Chloe, I also need to let the dog out and feed her, too.
So it’s not really just a matter of stopping writing and *bam!* instantaneously driving to the airport. There is a whole slew of “transition stuff” that needs to be taken into consideration if the rest of my morning is to go smoothly. And just like the buttered sourdough toast, if I pay attention to those edges, I’ll have a much more pleasant experience.
When I get back from the airport, what needs to happen in order for me to turn my attention back to writing, or to whatever container is next?
If I think about these things in advance, it’s truly amazing how much difference it makes!
What I typically tend to do is forget about things like the fact that I have to feed the critters before I can hop in the car, so I extend my writing container for longer than I really have time for. Then I end up scrambling like a madwoman, cursing a lot, and being embarrassingly late for things like picking my sweetie up from the airport.
What I typically tend to do is not think about endings, edges, and transitions, and that means great stretches of otherwise productive time gets lost in a void of never-ending-transition.
My day is in constant danger of becoming a black-hole of spinning my wheels. Or to stick with my toast metaphor, a piece of mostly-dry sourdough toast with a clump of mostly unmelted butter in the middle.
But now, thanks to Cairene, my usual M.O. is changing. Instead of just focusing on what I have to do, I’m learning to shift my focus just an inch to the left and right of that, to how I’m going to end a given container, transition out of it, and transition into the next thing.
Butter around the edges and the middle will take care of itself.
Focus on the edges, endings, and transitions of the tasks, activities, and “containers” of my day, and the whole day flows ever so much more smoothly.
Now I’m going to get dressed, feed some hungry critters, and make myself some cinnamon toast before heading off to the airport to pick up MB.

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!
Photo by Thristian at Flickr
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