Last week I sent a survey out to my subscribers and clients, soliciting their feedback in order to learn how I can best help my audience members to live their own creative lives.
Included in the survey was a list of challenges that can get in the way of living the life of your dreams.
On a scale of 1 (“Not an issue for me”) to 5 (“YES! I could TOTALLY use help with this!”), fully half of those who have responded so far rated “I don’t have enough white space in my day” as either 4 (29%) or 5 (21%).
That’s half of my audience (at least of those who took the time to respond) who find the lack of “white space” as either a challenge, or a really big challenge.
I can totally relate.
Creating White Space
BTW, this question was not by any means the one on my survey with the most 4 and 5 ratings. Other higher scorers were the following:
- I want to find my creative voice — 53% (4=24%, 5=29%)
- I want to develop a consistent practice — 60% (4=26%, 5=34%)
- I’m just generally holding back and playing small — 66% (4=37%, 5=29%)
- I have too many interests! — 55% (4=26%, 5=29%)
and the grand winner:
- I just need some accountability to get myself doing and creating! — 69% (4=37%, 5=32%)
I’m working right now on an offer to help with that last one, btw, which I’ll roll out for my subscribers in the next few weeks. If they snap up the available openings, I may never open it up to the wider public. So if that interests you and you’re not already a subscriber, sign yourself up right now using the form at the top right of this page.
And if you are already a subscriber but you haven’t filled out the survey yet, check your inbox for the email with the link to do so (or email me if you can’t find it, and I’ll be happy to send it again.)
But back to the problem of white space.
This is a particular challenge in my own life. As a Passion Pluralite, and one with “Achiever” in my top 5 Strengthsfinder 2.0 strengths, the fact is I’m hard-wired to always want to be doing something, pursuing mastery, and juggling a lot of balls.
John T. Unger once tweeted something about juggling so many balls that he couldn’t see the sky. It was a great visual, one that has stuck with me (and also led me to believe we were separated at birth).
The thing is, I’ve come to realize that I like juggling a lot of balls. Just not always quite as many as I’ve usually got in the air.
I dream of days with wider margins, but creating those margins is an ongoing challenge for me. Just as nature abhors a vacuum and will always seek to fill it, apparently I abhor a vacuum in my day.
Or at least part of me does — the part that keeps adding balls to those already flying around overhead.
So.
As I endeavor to follow the Way of the Peaceful Entrepreneur, I’m on the lookout for what I can take off of my plate to make space for all the stuff I really, really want. Yet so much of what’s on my plate already is stuff I really, really want!
And yet I just seem to keep piling it on…
What’s a Passion Pluralite to do?
This Passion Pluralite learned long ago a Truth of Truths for anyone with a bazillion Blisses that they want, oh-so-eagerly to follow:
You really can do everything you want, just not all at the same time.
This hit me especially hard this week, as I realized that my #12in12 commitment for February, to write a minimum of 750 words/day on my Book-Like Project*, was, in fact, preventing me from doing some of the other Really Important writing I’m committed to.
(Overly detailed note: In reality, my daily word-count has averaged around 1200 words, but I’m keeping the official commitment to 750 so I’m more assured of feeling successful!)
*(“Book-Like Project,” btw, is what I’ve taken to calling it, instead of “my book,” in an attempt to shut up my Inner Critic, who was incessantly snapping at me that I’m not up to the task of writing a book, that I’ll fail, and who am I to even think I could take on such an audacious project, anyway? It seems to be helping. A “Book-Like Project” is much less audacious-sounding than a “Book,” and the term is confusing my Inner Critic just enough that it makes her a bit dizzy (she’s a grey-haired, pinch-lipped senior citizen, and newfangled stuff tends to bamboozle her), and she toddles off to Starbucks for a latte. This is good.)
Much as I wanted (want!) to write daily on my Book-Like Project, it was keeping me from other stuff I also want:
Like my blog posts (which, yes, I could publish less frequently, but I’ve just got so damn much I want to say!)
And the guest posts I’ve committed to doing for other blogs.
And the eBook, which I’ve been in the final editing stages of for way too long now, and simply must finish!
So.
This week, I was reminded of the Passion Pluralite’s Truth of Truths (see above), and took a hard look at my writing commitments.
What if, I asked myself, I shifted my expectations to the side, just a tad? What if, instead of adding “write 750+ words/day on my Book-Like Project” to my already overfilled daily plate, I allowed myself to count ANY AND ALL of my “writing for (eventual) publication” toward my daily goal?
What, I asked myself, might that allow me to do? If I spent, say, 3-4 days a week on blog posts (both of the personal and guest variety), and 3-4 days a week on the eBook (first, and then once that’s done, on the Book-Like Project)?
Here are some of the answers:
- I could finish the damn eBook this week (editing the eBook counts toward the daily commitment, even if it’s spending time editing rather than cranking out 750-1300 words worth of “virgin sentences”)
- I could start to build up a backlog of posts for Living A Creative Life, so I’m not always scrambling to write one at the last minute (which is, I confess, the usual way these posts get written…)
- I could write all those guest posts in advance, too
- I could still work on the Book-Like Project (just not quite as quickly as I want)
Can you say “Major upping of peacefulness quotient”?
Major upping of peacefulness quotient!
Sorry, couldn’t help myself. I’m literally still swooning from the instantaneous decrease in my stress level when I imagined a life with ONE daily word-count standard, instead of several.
Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [Deep, eyes-closed sigh.]
True, the Book-Like Project will have to wait to get the level of attention I’d like to devote to it. But you know what? I’m okay with that.
I still get to do everything I want. Just not all at the same time.
Life is good.
What about you? Is there something you could shift, a whole lot or just a tad, to up your own peacefulness quotient? Tell us about it in the comments below.
PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!
Birdy Diamond, Roving Robin & Alchemist in Feathers says
I so hear you! 🙂 :>
Thnx for the great tip – will remember that as a wide-reaching application.
I had a similar epiphany when I realized that pulling all our websites into one was going to make things a WHOLE LOT EASIER in the overall pic.
The reduction in stress has been amazing, not to mention the upswiing in confidence as I pull the content together and see that ‘wow! we DID actually do something last year!’. 😀 :>
Happy Muse-ing! 🙂 :>
Melissa Dinwiddie says
Yes, anytime you can combine efforts, it’s a good thing! 🙂 Yay for reductions in stress and upswings in confidence!
kitty Kilian says
Ha.. great post. You know what, Melissa? I would love to see your week schedule
Melissa Dinwiddie says
Ha! My schedule is so erratic, Kitty, though when everything is running smoothly I spend the first few hours of the day on creative stuff: journaling, playing my ukulele, writing. Then it’s all appointments and deadlines for the rest of the day (and way too many of those at the moment, it seems!)
Carrie says
I love the reminder that we can do it all just not all at once! I am working on doing something for myself everyday to increase my peaceful quotient. I tend to go go go and right now my body & soul are craving stillness. Thanks for these beautiful tips Melissa!
Melissa Dinwiddie says
I like your daily commitment to something that will increase your peacefulness quotient. I’m also the “gogogogogo” type, so I really have to be conscious and intentional about making myself slow down. 8-}
Emmanuelle says
Oh my, having “achiever” myself, on top of “learner”, I can totally relate. Always have something to do, to achieve, to learn, and when can I take some rest so I don’t feel overwhelmed? Ha!
Between juggling an almost-full-time job + making sure my side hustle as a yoga teacher and coach is taking off so I can quit job in a few months + ongoing coaching trainings, this year has been, er, challenging so far. So last week I decided to take it easy and rest my body and mind, not blogging as much if I didn’t feel like it, not market mindlessly, just do what felt right for me then. And this week, yeah I’m back 🙂
And I have decided to take Sunday Savasana (=relaxation): no computer, no work, just play and rest, and even watching mindless entertainment on TV if I feel like it, just because 🙂
Melissa Dinwiddie says
Although it didn’t show up in my top 5, I think “learner” must be tied for #6, because I can totally relate!
And Sunday Savasana! What a brilliant idea! The very concept feels impossible to me right now, but so did a lot of things I’ve managed to incorporate lately, so consider the seed planted. 😉
Christine (Girl on Fire) Reed says
As someone who just learned at the age of 43 that she is an Aspie Girl (a woman with an Asperger’s brain), I am learning that white space is beyond essential to my mental health. Overstimulation is my enemy. But as someone who as been “passing” as neurotypical for all my life, I am deep into a very long learning curve right now about how to better take care of this different (not “ill”) brain.
One of the things I do that I think could benefit anyone is take time in a very small, no stimulation allowed space. Think of when you were little and you would hide under the covers or in a closet. Coping mechanisms like that can still work wonders. 🙂 I feel like Humpty Dumpty being put back together again in just ten minutes.
Melissa Dinwiddie says
It’s amazing how we all get programmed that there’s one “right” way to be! Which, of course, is never the way *we’re* actually wired. Figuring out how to work with *your* unique wiring is really key — oh, what a difference it makes!
Thanks for the tip on taking time in a very small, no stimulation space. Sounds lovely. 🙂
daphne says
the peacefulness quotient – I love it. So what can I do to up my peacefulness quotient – take 5 minutes every 2 hours to just breathe deeply. I think I’ll do it right now. 🙂
thanks,
The Pleasure Nutritionist
Melissa Dinwiddie says
I like that idea, Daphne! 5 minutes every 2 hours to breathe deeply — lovely!
KatieP says
You really can do everything you want, just not all at the same time.
Wise words that I need to remember. Great post. Thanks ♥
Melissa Dinwiddie says
Yay! Thanks Katie!
Petrea says
Inspiring post that has given me some great ideas to use! So thanks!
BTW loved your workshop at the Pleasure Party today!