So how’m I doing in my quest to re-invent my life, follow my evolving Blisses and create the life I really, really want?
Well, the car is loaded and the twenty (that’ right, 20) items on today’s to-do list checked off.
This despite a full five (5) hours being taken up this morning by a rehearsal (including transportation to and from) for my July 31 Ladies of Jazz concert. Oy.
(If you can believe it, I used to think of myself as lazy. Ha. Turns out I just hadn’t found anything compelling to focus my attention. No concerns in that department nowadays.)
All that remains is to vacuum the kitty fluffs off the carpet (damn I miss having a working Roomba!) and to write this post.
And get to sleep, of course. A rare commodity these days.
The week
This past week has been nonstop headless-chicken-on-a-hamster-wheel activity, as I worked double-time to complete deadlines so I could go to my second music camp of the summer. Because my main source of income is still my ketubah and wedding art/design business, summer (ie, “Wedding Season”) is my busiest time of year. Getting away for not just one, but two separate weeks in the middle of summer is, quite frankly, totally insane.
But when something is really, really important, you do whatever is necessary to make it happen.
So I morph into a headless chicken on a hamster wheel for several weeks in order to get to camp. I will admit: it’s really, really, really, really hard.
But totally worth it.
Every time I’ve gone to camp, I’ve had a goal of being well-rested, with tough calluses on my fretting fingers. I don’t believe I’ve ever succeeded.
This time is no exception. My sleep debt is so deep I’m overextending my credit limit, and my poor fingertips are practically back to virgin status. (And yes, once again I’m realizing that I seriously need an assistant.)
Ah, well. I’ll survive.
It would be so much more convenient if music camp were held in December. But then it would be awfully cold and wet.
As far as proceeding toward my goals, in the weeks before camp I feel lucky if I manage to tread water without going under.
On the one hand, it’s incredibly frustrating.
On the other hand, it’s an opportunity to practice being gentle and forgiving with myself.
Damn. I didn’t get any exercise today or yesterday.
It’s okay; I forgive you, Melissa.
Damn. I didn’t get every self-imposed deadline completed that I wanted to.
It’s okay; I forgive you, Melissa.
Damn. I didn’t call or email everyone I wanted to contact.
It’s okay; I forgive you, Melissa.
Damn. I didn’t play more than a few minutes of guitar.
It’s okay; I forgive you, Melissa.
Damn. I didn’t make any new art.
It’s okay; I forgive you, Melissa.
Damn. (Aside from contacting some new artists to interview) I didn’t make any real progress on the Thriving Artists Project.
It’s okay; I forgive you, Melissa.
In fact, despite my frustrations, I accomplished an astonishing amount, including several rush client deadlines (a custom ketubah text, a ketubah print to Austria, wedding invitations to Italy), and I still managed to get a little bit of self-care in there too.
Don’t forget the self-care, people. As Fawn puts it, “self-care comes first.”
Okay, in reality it doesn’t always make it to the top of the list, but I’m getting much, much better about this. And the fact that I at least have it as an actual goal demonstrates enormous improvement.
And to that end, I believe I’m going to bail on the vacuuming and just get myself to bed.
Have a great week! I’ll be thinking of you while I’m making music in the woods.
Self-care is HARD, and even when you’re committed to prioritizing it, it sometimes slips. I’m way behind on sleep and way over my recommended weekly intake of dairy products, and my body is letting me know I need to rest up and say no to cheese for a few days, but there’s always one more thing to do, and oh look, mozzarella!
Ah, yes: self-care that involves denying oneself something that has negative long-term consequences, but is soooo good in the moment.
Now that’s another story entirely.