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This week I’m grateful for newfound hope.
People comment a lot about my “amazing energy,” and yes, I do have a lot of energy, but the truth is, for a long time I’ve also suffered from unexplained, sporadic and persistent fatigue. Many mornings I wake up feeling beyond exhausted, almost as if I hadn’t slept at all, even after eight or nine hours.
An extreme sleepiness sometimes clings all day long, but sleeping more doesn’t help.
And it’s not just sleepiness; it’s a weird, thick feeling in my head and eyes that’s hard to describe.
I call it my “sludgy” feeling.
This has been a random, sporadic issue in my life since I had a bad case of “first year blues” the year I taught nursery school when I was 23. I caught every bug the kids brought in that year, and was sick so much that I developed an autoimmune disorder.
Gradually my health improved, and over the years, as I realized my self-concept was stuck on “weak and sickly,” I intentionally busted that self-installed glass ceiling and replaced it with a self-concept of “strong, healthy and energetic.”
But there were still those occasional “sludgy” days, which, mysteriously, have seemed to become more common lately.
It was seriously distressing.
Was I just getting old? Or was I harboring some terrible disease? Or…?
(These are the kinds of corners my mind gets stuck in late at night…)
Why I’m hopeful this week is that I just discovered that my symptoms may have a name — adrenal fatigue — and more importantly, a cure.
I’ve been reading the book Adrenal Fatigue, by James L. Wilson, ND, DC, PhD, and am finally motivated to make some de-stressing/quality-of-life lifestyle changes that I’ve known were needed, but haven’t had the commitment to follow through on until now…
…like getting back to an earlier bedtime schedule (goal: to be in bed and headed toward sleep by 10:30)
…and getting off my computer at night
…and planning ahead better, so I’m not always rushrushrushing when I go somewhere (guilty as charged…)
(It kind of tickles me that the written exercises that Dr. Wilson recommends in order to suss out what needs to change in your life are pretty similar to some of the worksheets I use in workshops and with clients. Coach, heal thyself! ;))
Oh, Yeah… Science!
I also remembered (doh!) that I’d had an Elisa food sensitivity blood test back in 2004 (I can’t remember exactly why)… which I’d promptly filed away and forgotten about.
I dug it up a few days ago and discovered — whoah! — that I’ve been practically OD’ing on some of the foods that my blood serum reacted to.
The bad news: the broccoli pancakes that have been a staple for MB and me for months are out! Turns out I’m sensitive to broccoli (and all cruciferous veggies, in fact), and egg, and wheat.
!!!
And yeast. And I seriously love my breadstuffs….
(I also tested sensitive to cow’s milk and goat’s milk — but miraculously NOT to hard cheeses, praised be! — and brewer’s yeast. Plus, rather randomly, amaranth, kidney beans, and lamb.)
Sheesh! No wonder my system’s been out of whack!
I’ve been overloading my body with foods that trigger an immune reaction!
Not to mention my tendency to overwork myself… (Ahem…)
The good news: the last couple of days, since avoiding the fourteen foods I tested as sensitive to, I’ve definitely felt better. Not 100%, mind you, not even close, but better. Enough to notice a real difference.
And as my ex-boyfriend (the one before MB) used to say, “Better is better!”
This could, of course, be a coincidence. But I’m hopeful that with my new diet and lifestyle changes I’ll be back to my regular, full-energy self eventually.
Support In Becoming a Well-Nourished Woman
My recent discoveries could not be more serendipitous, because on Tuesday I start Sue Ann Gleason’s Well-Nourished Woman Inner Circle.
Sue Ann is a culinary nutritionist and nourishment counselor, and I’m sure she’ll have lots of wisdom to share about how to regain my full health and energy.
(If you’re a subscriber to my insiders’ newsletter, watch your inbox for a way to join me in Sue Ann’s program for a special insiders’-only price — today only.)
I’m very glad I’ll have a supportive community to share my experiences in, because not everyone I’ve talked to about adrenal fatigue is very receptive or supportive. The medical industry, chained as it is to the insurance industry and Big Pharma, does not give credence to the idea that adrenal fatigue is an actual thing.
“It’s all in your head,” is a common retort from patients seeking help from their regular doctors. That and a prescription for antidepressants.
WTF?
Sigh… Well, I’ve had decades of experience with alternative modalities, when “traditional western medicine” has failed me in the past. I’m learning who I can talk to about such things, and who is better for me to keep mum about adrenal fatigue with.
Whatever issue you’re struggling with in your life, it always behooves you to identify true allies, and those whom you’d think would be supportive, but for whatever reason are more likely to undermine you in your quest.
Surround yourself with the former, and be very, very careful among the latter (avoid entirely if necessary).
That’s what I’m doing.
Meanwhile, I downloaded an app to help me track my symptoms, and everything I put in my mouth, to see if I can suss out some patterns.
And I’m finally feeling hopeful about this sludgy thing.
Life is good.

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!
Okay, the short answer is because I (almost) never buy a ticket. Which does, of course, make me slightly less likely to win than if I did (but only slightly).
But that’s not the real reason I’ll never win the lottery.
The real reason has a lot to do with a great post the Seth Godin wrote today. “Entrepreneurial hope,” he writes, “is essential.” But there’s a certain kind of hope that’s more damaging than helpful: the hope of the magic lottery ticket.
I know this hope only too well, and I’ll bet you do too. Who hasn’t fantasized about winning the lottery and never having to work a day in your life again?
It’s that same fantasy hope that Oprah Winfrey will read your book and turn it into a bestseller.
Or that your song will be catapulted onto the top of the music charts.
Or that your amazing performance/product/business will be magically discovered and become an overnight success.
The problem, of course, is not only that such fantasy hopes rarely come true, but also that putting energy into the hope of the magic lottery ticket takes energy away from doing the hard work necessary to create the life you really want, on your own terms.
Take a detour past the gatekeepers
I spent last weekend in Vegas with 100+ other music artists who have figured out that we don’t want a gatekeeper determining our fate. Forget trying to get signed with a label (or getting your artwork shown in a big gallery, or your writing picked up by a major publishing house). Smart artists take the reins of our careers into our own hands.
The thing is, with the right strategy, a musician (or artist/writer/creative) can actually make a better living (and possibly a better quality of life) by finding her audience directly than she would by signing with a label.
(Oh, how many sob stories have I heard about musicians signed with labels? Their biggest goal is frequently to get out of the contract that’s making the label rich at the expense of the artist’s creative freedom. Labels are set up to make the record company rich in the same way that the gallery system is set up to make the gallery owners rich.)
Having your work seen or heard or read by a million people is not the only way to succeed. How about 100 or 1,000 truly dedicated fans, who buy everything you create?
Yeah, it will probably take a helluva lot of hard work, but the sooner you start, the sooner you’ll get there. Waiting for a shortcut in the form of miraculous overnight success will just keep you from doing the important work that’s calling to you.
As Godin writes:
When someone encourages you to avoid the magic lottery, they’re not criticizing your idea nor are they trying to shatter your faith or take away your hope. Instead, they’re pointing out that shortcuts are rarely dependable (or particularly short) and that instead, perhaps, you should follow the longer, more deliberate, less magical path if you truly want to succeed.
If your business or your music or your art or your project is truly worth your energy and your passion, then don’t sell it short by putting its future into a lottery ticket.
What he said.
The pleasure and pride that comes from building it yourself
Which brings me to the real reason why I’ll never win the lottery: I don’t really want to.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. If a pile of money landed in my lap I would certainly not turn it down! I’d be thrilled, to be honest (right now I’d sure love a windfall to pay off my debt!) But my goal is not to lie on a secluded beach sipping exotic drinks for the rest of my life.
I want to create something I’m proud of.
I want to prove to myself that I’m capable of building the kind of success I seek.
Although I’m grateful for help and support whenever it comes my way, I don’t want to be rescued, I want to rescue myself, thank you very much.
And though I have mixed feelings about the whole Law of Attraction thing, I do believe that to a large extent we create our own reality. If my overarching goal in life were to win the lottery, well, perhaps it would happen.
But on the other hand, if my overarching goal is to create my own success, a winning lottery ticket is almost certainly not in the cards.
And I’m okay with that.
Which, if you think about it, is a very good thing.
For another great blog post that touches on this subject, see The myth of the overnight sensation, at the Creative Penn.
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