What ripples are you creating?
Did you ever see the movie Pay it Forward? Or read Catherine Ryan Hyde’s novel?
Every day, you pay it forward, without even realizing it. Not necessarily with money or physical things, but that doesn’t mean you’re not making an impact.
So what kind of impact do you want to make?
Favorite negative emotions, you ask? What the- ?
Yep, it’s true. Call them Emotions I Hate to Love, if you like. There are a few of them that I’ve learned are very, very useful, once you get past the icky-feeling part.
Envy’s one of my all-time faves! (Okay, okay, just a slight note of sarcasm there. As a 4 on the Enneagram, envy’s a core issue for me. Funsville!)
But seriously, watch the video to find out what’s to like about Envy. Then let me know in the comments what you’ve learned yourself from that green-eyed beast.
I’m a slasher. I freely admit it, and it’s something I’m not likely to change.
No, not the kind of slasher featured in horror movies. (Duh.) The kind that makes frequent use of the / key when describing what I do.
As in, “I’m an artist/writer/singer/songwriter/creativity coach/teacher/etc. etc. etc.”
Recently such use of the slash has been the subject of hot debate in a corner of the blogosphere. It started with this post by Mars Dorian, which begins:
Hello fellow digital crusader !
There’s one thing that’s bothering me lately, and I see it EVERYWHERE nowadays. I see it on Facebook accounts, Twitter profiles and about pages. I see it in email signatures and tweets. It’s making me want to vomit in my mouth, and it’s keeping YOU away from success.
What ?
It’s a terrible description that more and more people give themselves.
It goes like this:
I’m a writer / entrepreneur / traveler / consultant / designer and blogger.
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaang.
That’s the sound of shooting yourself in the foot.
You know what this tells me ? That YOU suck at each and everyone of them !
Baker Lawley of Catfish Parade responded with this post, in which he admitted to almost changing his slasher description of himself after he read Mars’ post. Instead, he ended up championing the cause of slashers everywhere (and mentioning me in the company of several other online slashers I admire – thanks Baker! – which is how I discovered this whole debate in the first place).
Emilie Wapnick, another waver of the multipotentialite flag (her word – ain’t it great?), leaped into the fray with her post SLASHERS UNITE! over at Puttylike.
The conversation happening in the comments on these three blogs kept me up waaaaaay too late late night, and I figured an “official” response was in order. So here it is.
If you spend the time to read the comments on these other blogs (recommended – interesting stuff there), you’ll find that Mars claims that’s he’s not actually saying that people cannot be good at multiple things (though it’s understandable why anyone would come to that conclusion, given his rather bold opening statement.)
What he is saying (or at least what I understand of what he’s saying) is that breaking your career identity into a series of slashes is shooting yourself in the foot. In other words, if you want to have impact, if you want to leave a legacy, it’s much better to combine all those slashes under a single umbrella.
This is debatable in itself, and Emilie shares some good counter arguments in Mars’ comment stream. But let’s stop there for a moment to ponder.
Integrating my various identities into one whole is, in fact, precisely what I’ve been trying to do in the past year of blogging about my journey to follow my evolving Blisses and (re-)create the life I really, really want. How to combine all of my gifts under one title? I was honestly tired of the split identity that all these slashes implied, and have put a lot of thought into how to integrate them all.
I tried on Renaissance Woman for awhile.
Then Multi-Passionate Creative ARTrepreneur.
The problem with this approach, though, is that it doesn’t give a clue as to what I actually do.
Categories, labels, niches drive multi-passionates crazy, but the truth is that human beings also seem to have an innate need for them. And as Michael Martine of Remarkablogger pointed out in a comment on Mars’ blog, the systems humans have created to find what we need – from the phone books and card catalogues of days past to search engines and Wikipedia of today – are not friendly to anything that doesn’t fit into a category we already understand:
The thing is not to pick one thing as you [“you” being Mars] suggest, but to put more thought into the overall theme of all that you do and describe it better.
I don’t need to say I’m a copywriter/blogger/designer/SEO/marketer/strategist. I say I’m a Blog Consultant, which seems like one thing but isn’t. If you think about it, you’ll see how I just solved a marketing/branding/SEO problem all in one stroke. Google “blog consulting” and you’ll see.
Clients need a “handle” by which to understand you and their own problems. It’s a naming problem. In no way does it mean what you suggest: that we abandon other disciplines which we may in fact be better at than most people. That is astonishingly mistaken, in my opinion.
However, it’s somewhat understandable. People who should only focus on one thing often fail to understand that multipotentialites or polymaths (pick your term) excel at multiple disciplines to the extent most people can only excel at one.
I think you would have been better off bringing this idea up as a question rather than as a polemic.
Amen, Michael.
But that still leaves someone like me a bit out in the cold. Is anyone out there using Google so search for “Renaissance Woman” or “Creative ARTrepreneur” (or even “Creative Entrepreneur”)? Um, yeah.
Which points to the need to describe what you do in terms of how, exactly, you help people. A naming problem, as Michael puts it.
Let me now take a brief detour to mention that I’ve never been fully satisfied with Multi-Passionate Creative ARTrepreneur for precisely this reason, and have been hunting around for a more descriptive title. A “handle” by which clients can understand me and their own problems.
Catherine Caine pointed out in our session the other day that the theme underlying everything I do is Creative Abundance. But how to express the various things I actually do atop that foundation? Among other things, I:
How in heaven’s name does one encapsulate all of this into a single title?
I kind of like Creative Abundance Goddess and Guide, but it still leaves me with an SEO problem, and no clear “handle” by which clients can understand me. The truth is, a slasher title – something like Artist/Writer/Coach/Creative Living Consultant, say – while less entertaining, would probably work better for SEO.
I don’t have one. Though I’m thankful to Mars and Baker and Emilie for initiating the debate (and Michael and a whole bunch of others for contributing) because it got me thinking about it.
It seems to me that there’s a place for all of this. There’s a definite trend online toward setting yourself apart with a unique, even grandiose title:
Tara Gentile of ScoutieGirl is a philosopher of creative living and DIY culture & lifestyle design expert. Leonie Allan of the Goddess Guidebook is a Goddess. Laura Hollick of Soul Art Studio is an Artist & Shaman. Alexia Petrakos is an Expedition Leader for Creative Explorers. Caleb Wojcik of Pocket Changed is a World Changer.
I could go on.
Personally, I think these grandiose titles are fun! They give you a sense of the bearer’s personality, even if they don’t necessarily give you a clear sense of what they actually mean.
But it would seem to me a wise move to also break that title down in a way that people can more clearly understand what you’re about.
The funny thing is, even if you do your best to avoid all slashing, I suspect there’s no way you’re going to stop other people from slashing you. With all these crazy-ass titles, I can see scenes such as this becoming commonplace:
Person A: “Melissa Dinwiddie? Who’s she?”
Person B: “Oh, you know, that Artist/Writer/Coach/Creative Living Consultant over at Living A Creative Life.”
‘Nuff said.
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What do you think? Do you think slashing is shooting yourself in the foot? Do you think it means you suck at everything you do? Or are you an unrepentant slasher? Perhaps with a crazy-ass grandiose title as well? Share your reactions in the comments below.
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One of my recent consulting clients, the phenomenally talented Shenee of Eight Thirty Five, invited me to be a stop on her story tour. Enjoy, then be sure to click through to the rest of the tour stops.
The other day I read yet another story of yet another blogger whose blog struck a chord, took off and earned her a handsome full-time income in under a year.
In a flash, I felt the jaws of the Comparison Trap start to close around my psyche once again.
Why hadn’t I managed to make such a success out of my online efforts? What was wrong with me? Was I simply a failure, destined to spend my life working at building an internet empire that never quite makes it? Should I throw in the towel and just give up altogether?
I recognized this feeling. Something about this was familiar…
Then it hit me that I’d felt this way not so long ago, back when I was single and looking, on the quest to find a life partner.
While other single women I knew found “The One” on their first or second internet date, I persevered for years, through dozens of dates (57 in one 2 1/2 year period alone).
There were times when I wondered if I’d still be single and looking in my 80s.
How I envied those other women! It seemed to come so easily for them. Where was my special guy?
From my present time perspective, I understand that my story is just different. No less romantic (in fact, I would argue even more so, though I’ll admit I’m a little biased). No less special, just different.
Where others have stories of love at first sight, my story is of persistence and patience, of a slow boil, of taking the time to really get to know myself and to discover that the person I’d never seen as a “contender” was, in fact, the best of the bunch.
Instead of love at first sight, my story is of gradually wandering into love.
Perhaps, I realized, the story of my business isn’t a story of failure, but of gradual evolution, just like the story of my relationship. It seems I’m not one of the blessed destined for overnight success, but that’s not the only valid route.
Stories are powerful. Stories can offer hope, a vision of possibility. The simple act of retelling myself my story of slow success in my dating life shored me up for the path ahead in my business life.
As I write this, it’s Theodor Geisel’s birthday. You know Theodor Geisel? He’s better known as much-loved children’s book author Dr. Seuss.
How’s this for a story of persistence: Dr. Seuss’s first children’s book was rejected by at least 27 publishers. Geisel almost burned the manuscript after so many rejections, but it finally did get published, and sold 6 million copies.
Stories of success come with lots of different plot lines. Pick the ones that work for you.
[Hint: there’s a surprise gifty thingy at the bottom of the box. Kinda like Cracker Jack, but without the calories.]
What do I want more than anything? To make a positive impact on other people by doing what I love, and to sustain myself in the process.
To change the world for the better, while at the same time feeding myself, emotionally and financially.
To be my fully-creative self and help others be their fully-creative selves, and make a living from it.
I’m definitely on the path, but I haven’t hit my stride yet.
When you’re on the path, the Universe lets you know by sending the right teachers your way.
I met one of my teachers earlier today when I had a Skype interview for the Thriving Artists Project with the wonderful Goddess Leonie. I’d seen Leonie’s website a few weeks back, and immediately flagged it as one of my daily Genius Resources on 365 Days of Genius, so it was a delightful surprise when she contacted me, expressing great enthusiasm for what I was doing with TAP, and offering to be an interview guest.
My ex-boyfriend used to say “always interpret omens favorably,” and I took Leonie’s email as a definite message from the Universe that I was on the right path!
Not that this was the kind of omen that could be interpreted any other way. Leonie is modeling exactly the kind of life I’m in the process of creating for myself. (As soon as my self-imposed moratorium on buying new digital courses and e-books is lifted, I’m signing up for her Goddess Circle membership (affiliate link), which is filled with over $600 of goodies for the amazingly low price of $99 for a year. In fact, I may just make an exception to my moratorium…)
Leonie is actually just one in a long line of recent teachers. Every single interview I’ve done lately (or ever?) for the Thriving Artists Project has brought me rich gifts that I was right then needing to receive.
With artist Michele Théberge, I was reminded that it only takes 15 minutes a day to stay connected to your creative flow. I needed to hear this, and was ready to hear it right then. I’ve made art every day this month, which makes me profoundly happy.
With illustrator and syndicated cartoonist Carlos Castellanos, I was reminded that you should charge most for that which comes easiest to you. I needed to hear this, and was ready to hear it right then. I’m still integrating this one, but am becoming more and more aware of the many areas where I bring real value.
And with Goddess Leonie, I was reminded that on the one hand, making money from my gifts is so much more helpful for me and other people than giving it all away. And on the other hand, the best way to get my gifts out there is to use them to help people, to gift people with a journey. AND I was reminded that my art can be more than pieces I sell to hang on walls or put on shelves; it can be an integral part of what I put out into the world: on my blog, in my e-books and e-courses and anywhere else I share myself. Duh. Apparently I needed to hear this, and was ready to hear it today.
On her blog, Leonie tells a story of how she used to give her art away. Not as gifts to loved ones, given out of delight and generosity, but to anyone who asked, out of fear and avoidance of the hard act of putting a monetary value on her art.
Her teacher arrived in the form of a wise, older woman, who said:
You must charge for your art. In everything – everything – there needs to be an exchange of energy. An equal one. One that fills me up. One that fills you up. If I give you a massage that nourishes and sustains and relaxes you, I ask you for money to nourish and sustain my life too. We must both be involved in the exchange, otherwise it is one sided. We must both be invested, so we both receive value. If I do not allow you to pay money for my service, I do a disservice to myself, but also to you. You must contribute too, in order to be fulfilled. You will value the things you pay for more. And my life will be better because I have helped your life be better. And your life will be better, because you have helped my life be better too. Everything – everything – must be an equal exchange of energy. It is sacred. Money is the manifestation of energy. Money is sacred too.
This is something so many of us struggle with! Johnny B. Truant and Pace Smith even made a course about it – Profitable Idealism (affiliate link – doors closing at midnight tonight, so you only have a few hours to get in, but if you’re wanting to change the world, OR if you’re wanting to make money, this could be a great match for you, and I highly recommend you check it out).
I don’t have a neat and tidy bow to wrap this post up with. Just to say that my chat with Leonie today made me rethink a lot of what I’ve been doing. I’m not sure how it’s all going to shake out, but as usual, I’ll share it with you here.
In the meantime, one thing I’ve been wanting to do for awhile now is to validate for myself the ways in which I can be directly helpful, right now. To that end, I’ll be offering a limited number of f.r.ee half-hour consulting/visioning/coaching sessions periodically over the coming weeks, starting now.
The first eight people who tungle me by clicking this link will get 30 minutes of my focused attention to work on whatever you want:
Heck, I’ll even read your aura if you want (seriously – I’m not even kidding about that!) All up to you.
What’s the catch?
There isn’t one. I just want to get to know my followers and do my best to help you. Period.
Again, click here to get to my Tungle Me calendar and set up your 30-minute session. First come, first served. (But if you don’t get into this group, you’ll have another opportunity down the road. Promise.)
That’s it for today. Now it’s time to get my art on. Catch you later!
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