“Angular” – Inktober prompt for 10/16/18. And the word in my head as I started today’s Doodlecam, which you can watch in my Story for the next 24 hours. 🖍
As with yesterday’s doodle, I’m not crazy about how this one turned out, but again, it’s not *about* the outcome, it’s about the *process*. I’m not worried about the fact that I don’t like this one, because I make doodles pretty much every day, so it’s only a matter of time before I make one that I like again. (Plus it’s just a piece of paper!) Besides, you need the crap to fertilize the good stuff! It’s the practice of creating that will lead to something good in time. 😊
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10/15/18: weak.
This doodle felt very weak to me. I don’t like it. I didn’t like it while I was creating it on the live, streaming Doodlecam (which you can watch on my Story for the next 24 hours, or on my IGTV channel). But it’s not about whether you like it or hate it, it’s about DOING IT! It’s about letting your inner 4-year-old take the reins for a bit. Muck about, not try to impress anyone. Did you try to impress anyone when you drew with crayons when you were 4? (Or if you were any overachiever, if you were 3. Or 2.) NO! You did not! You were simply exploring! Asking yourself the question, “What would happen if..?” 🖍
This is what it means to play in the creative sandbox. This is what my Creative Sandbox Way™ Guideposts are designed to help you do! To let loose! To make messes! To free yourself from perfectionist paralysis so you can CREATE and get back to having FUN again, without worrying about whether what you’re creating is “good enough.”
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Who the ***** cares if it’s “good enough”??? What the heck does that even mean, anyway??? This doodle is a big, ol’ mess. My gremlins are horrified and embarrassed that I made it, embarrassed I’m sharing it, but you know what? My inner 4-year-old had a blast making it! And THAT is what matters!
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So who are you gonna listen to? Who are you gonna take direction from? Your gremlins? Or your inner 4-year-old? I can tell you which one will lead to greater happiness, and it’s not your gremlins.
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Rant over.
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The last third of Creative Sandbox Playday, after finishing one page spread in my Paris travel journal, I debated about taking the rest of the time to just doodle and muck about with line, shape, color—no attempt to make *things* that look like anything. But ultimately I decided to plow ahead with another page spread, because hey, I was on a roll, so why not? The only time I’m probably going to work on this is at a Playday or a Retreat, so why not just do it, right?
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I didn’t finish this spread—not even half way there—but you know what? I had so much fun doing this! It utterly delighted me to paint this, try to figure out *how* to tackle the various elements, and to let it be imperfect!
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That is the greatest lesson and gift of this entire travel journal: just doing it—in pen and watercolor, totally “unforgiving” media!—is giving me great practice in intentional imperfectionism! My drawings of photographs don’t look like the photographs, and whereas 30, 20, even 10 years ago that would have terribly upset me (so much that I probably wouldn’t have even made the attempt at all—can you say “perfectionist paralysis”?), today I really *enjoy* my wobbly inaccuracies! Now they *delight* me, because I see that they are what give my drawings character.
It also doesn’t hurt that this journal is of our trip to Paris, where we saw paintings by Matisse and Modigliani, et al, *whose portraits did not look like photos of their subjects*!!!!
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I’m not interested in being a camera. I have a camera for that. I’m interested in capturing *feelings*. And it delights me that my journal does that.
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I think I’m going to call this page spread done. About 90 minutes of painting time today, plus some painting time already invested last month at my Creative Sandbox Retreat. 🖍
I wasn’t going to work on my travel journal today. Why not? Fear gremlins, of course! But they disguised themselves as “Oh, you’re past that now, on to other things,” and other, similar thoughts. The reality, though? Fear of not being good enough. That’s what it essentially boils down to. Or fear of wasting my time—after all, why spend time on a stupid travel journal??? What’s the point??? (Yes, my gremlins STILL harangue me with those thoughts!)
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But right now, in this moment, with all the goofy imperfection of this page staring back at me, my main feeling is one of delight. Pleasure and delight that I DID THIS! I busted through the fear, stuck with it, persevered, sent those gremlins off to get pedicures, and DID THIS! And whether anyone else likes it or not, I LIKE IT! Because I made it, and it’s a memento of my trip. 😊
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I’m here at the 2nd Creative Sandbox Playday in Palo Alto, California, feeling SO HAPPY that I made this happen! And so happy that the next one is on the calendar! Come join us on November 25th! Link in profile, or go to http://bit.ly/2NWuyAa
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#traveljournal #artjournal #originalart #imperfectionism #artistsofinstagram #artistsoninstagram #creativesandboxway #creativesandboxplayday #moleskine #pigmamicron #watercolor