Blog - Melissa Dinwiddie | Create the Impossible™ | Innovation Keynote Speaker & Consultant

November 12, 2012

Perfection Is Overrated 2

Calligraphy Art:

Perfection is overrated. Try authenticity!

Media:

Watercolor, watercolor ground, Ziller ink, pencil

Dimensions:

5 5/8″ x 5 7/8″

Creation Notes:

How much of my life have I wasted wishing I were perfect and trying to make myself so? For too long, letting go of the goal of perfection felt like a cop-out. Like “letting myself go.”

Thankfully, I know better now. It’s not my “perfection” that draws people to me. No, quite the opposite: it’s my imperfection, my authentic, flawed self.

It took me a long time to get here, but I can assure you, it’s a much better way to live. Jump on it — the water’s fine!

In the Collection of:

Anonymous

Want an original ArtSpark for your own collection? Watch my Facebook page, because I periodically auction off my ArtSparks there.

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

[scs_post]

November 5, 2012

Happy My Birthday to You!

Hey! It’s my birthday!

To celebrate completing 46 turns around the sun — and the fact that I recently finished a new song I’ve been working on — I made a little video for you with my ukulele.

Happy My Birthday!

The story behind the song: I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much energy in my life has been thrown down the tubes, totally wasted on obsessing over my appearance. I was engaged in a vicious war with my body for way too long, and I often wonder what I might have accomplished if I had instead channeled that energy into creative production.

Sigh… All that time and energy lost…

Ah, well. Correct forward, as they say! And use humor as a tool to hopefully help other women to get off the obsession treadmill and correct forward as well.

If this song speaks to you, please forward it to a friend and/or share on social media. I have a vision of all women turning our energies away from warring with our bodies and towards creating something of value. Truly, we’d be unstoppable.

Meanwhile… more birthday news…

In my last insiders newsletter (not a subscriber? sign up using the form at the upper right), I mentioned that I was feeling kinda bummed out that I have not come close to reaching my 46×46 birthday campaign goal, to raise $2,116 for charity: water.

I’d already lowered my goal from $10,000 when I realized that there was no way I could keep my commitment to end my workaholism if I tried to run a $10,000 fundraising campaign on top of all the other Very Big Projects I had on my plate.

I thought I could hit $2,116, but apparently I needed a lesson from the poet William Stafford, who, when asked how he managed to be so prolific, writing a poem every single day, is reported to have said:

Every day I get up and look out the window, and something occurs to me, something always occurs to me. And if it doesn’t, I just lower my standards.

Apparently I needed to lower my own standards even more. Thanks and a big, warm shout-out to Laureen for reminding me that I could do this again, right now, lowering my standards for my charity: water birthday campaign “to something where you can say immediately, ‘Done it!'”

“Any money you’ve raised,” she reminded me, “is more than having done nothing.”

Indeed!

So here we go, then: Done it!

(Though please don’t let that stop you from contributing! There are a few more hours left before my campaign shuts down, and everyone who donates $5 or more gets a gift coupon worth $20 to use in my store anytime over the coming year. Plus there are a lot of other awesome premiums, too.)

Lowering standards while still pursuing excellence…

I don’t know about you, but I grew up always trying to be The Best. Always trying to be perfect. Now I’m proud to call myself an Imperfectionist (also known as a recovering perfectionist!)

It’s quite an interesting contradiction: I’m still continually pursuing excellence, but at the same time, I’m learning to lower my standards and allow myself to be imperfect, so that I can put myself out there, try things, make mistakes, learn, improve, and put more of my imperfect self out there again.

I’m also discovering that the more I reveal my imperfection rather than shamefully hiding it, the easier it becomes to share whatever I have to offer. (Watch past the credits on the video above for some silly examples of that…)

And, as you may have gathered from the ironic message of my song above, I’m learning to accept and truly love my body in all its glorious, aging imperfection as well.

I wish the same for you.

Happy My Birthday!

What might change in your life if you could stop obsessing and truly accept yourself the way you are?

PS – I’ve got a guest post over at Puttytribe today! The Stovetop Model of Life Design for Multipotentialites. I think you might dig it. Click here to check it out.

PPS – Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

November 1, 2012

Principles of Play: Rules for the Creative Sandbox, Part 3

This is the third of a 3-part series on my 10 Rules for the Creative Sandbox.

The Creative Sandbox is that space of flow, experimentation and play that, as a creator, I most long to be in. It’s where you lose yourself while finding your joy, and after early childhood, it can be a hard place to find. In my journey toward living my most creative life I’ve found 10 “rules” that have served me well, which I share with you in this series.

Read the full introduction here and Part 2 here.

10 Rules for the Creative Sandbox: Rules 6-10

6. When in doubt, ask “What if…?”

Experimentation is all about trying things, just to see what will happen. Creativity is not about perfection and technical mastery; it’s about finding solutions to problems, making discoveries and allowing them to pull you in a new direction. When you express an idea in a way that pleases you, you may find yourself in a groove, which feels great… until it turns into a rut.

Ruts never feel like the Creative Sandbox. They feel more like a trap. The quickest way out? Ask “What would happen if…?”

What if I drip the paint instead of brush it?

What if I turn the canvas upside down?

What if I sew on the canvas?

What if the character in my story goes left instead of right?

What if I tap my ukulele instead of strumming it?

These are the kinds of questions that can quickly get you joyfully sloshing metaphorical sand about once again.

7. When you get to a crossroads, take the path you fear.

As a visual artist (and in fact as a performer, coach and teacher, too), I prefer to work very improvisationally. I smoosh paint and ink around on paper or canvas just to see what it will do (see #6 above). Kinda like finger painting for adults. I may do this for several layers, then later, after the paper is dry, I find interesting sections on the paper to tear or cut out and turn into a finished piece. (I demonstrate my entire process step-by-step in the video tutorials that come in my Playshop-In-A-Box.)

This is where my editor comes in. Even though I come to the Creative Sandbox focused on process, there’s always a back-and-forth between my 4-year-old and my editor.

It’s something of a contradiction: I have the intention of keeping the focus on process, but I confess I do also aim to end up with something that pleases me, something that feels well-crafted and “finished.”

This creates a bit of tension. There’s often a moment in the art-creation process when a piece doesn’t feel quite “done,” but there’s always a risk that the thing I’m contemplating adding may end up ruining rather than improving it.

My rule for myself here is to always take the route that may lead to “ruin,” even though I might very well lose something I like. (Another reason I adhere to #4 above.)

My thinking here is that I don’t want to get stuck in “preciousness,” stalled in the land of UFOs (Un-Finished Objects) because of fear I’d mess them up. That’s a sure path right back to stuckness — the opposite direction of where I’d like to be.

I’d rather crank out a bunch of “ruined disasters” than never finish anything out of fear I’ll mess up. (Click to tweet this.) That’s the Creative Sandbox path of growth and learning

Do the thing you fear. (If you’re a visual artist, go ahead and make liberal use of your digital camera or scanner if you really want to hang on to what you’ve got before you take that risky step!)

8. The Creative Sandbox is a gremlin-free zone

Gremlins are my term for those self-critical, self-doubting voices that we all have inside. The one that says “You’re not good enough,” the one that says, “Who do you think you are to try this?” and any variation thereof. Also known as the Inner Critic, the saboteur, monsters… they have a lot of names, these gremlins.

Tara Mohr likens this nasty internal voice to a guard patrolling the edge of your comfort zone. As long as you stay safely inside, the guard can go to sleep, but the second you get close to the edge, watch out — that’s when those nasty voices start yelling at you.

Learning to tame those gremlin voices is a life-long process. I’ve learned a lot of ninja gremlin-training tools, but the most important one of all is just to notice when it’s a gremlin talking, hear its voice and decide not to take direction from it.

The thing about true creativity is that it always happens in uncertainty, decidedly outside of your comfort zone. (Think about it: if there’s certainty around what you’re doing, that means it’s been done before, and if it’s been done before, it’s not truly creative, right?)

That means that every single time you engage in a creative act, your gremlins are bound to get loud and nasty.

Knowing this, I advise consciously setting up your Creative Sandbox space as a gremlin-free zone. You can alert any gremlins lurking about that they are not allowed inside, and if (when!) you notice any appearing, physically remove them.

You can have fun with this by literally acting out picking up said gremlin(s) and putting them outside and closing the door, or imagining drop-kicking them out the window (in a less peaceful mood), or sending them off somewhere. (I like to send mine off to get a pedicure. My gremlins get way more pedicures than I do!)

9. The Creative Sandbox is a comparison-free zone.

Another danger lurking around the Creative Sandbox is something I like to call the Comparison Trap.

I think I step in this trap more than anyone on the planet. (I’m a 4 on the Enneagram, and our core “vice” or “passion” [read: challenge] is envy, so it’s not really much of a surprise.)

If you’ve ever looked at someone else’s work and thought, “Man, I wish I could create something as awesome as that! My work will never be that good. I suck,” you know what it feels like to be caught in the Comparison Trap.

Stepping in the Comparison Trap always starts up those gremlin voices.

I had a revelation about this comparison thing many years ago, in a workshop on making decorated letters. Several of us had spread our experiments out on the floor, and I was admiring another student’s work, wishing my work was as cool and interesting as hers, feeling badly about myself. My work just felt so boring in comparison.

Imagine my surprise when this very student turned to me and said “Melissa, your work is so cool and interesting! I wish my work was like yours.”

Something clicked for me right then. I realized that someone else’s work will always feel more interesting and exciting to me than my own, because their work comes from their unconscious — a place that is completely unknown to me. My own unconscious, though not entirely known, is dramatically more familiar a space to me than anyone else’s, so of course my work is going to feel more familiar (and hence more “boring”) to me than theirs!

The truth is that each of us has a unique voice, a unique way of expressing ourselves, which is as valid as any other way. Using that unique way of yours to express what’s inside of you is your birthright, and your gift to the Universe. (And if any judgment starts to hone in on your Creative Sandbox time, don’t forget rule #2.)

10. The Creative Sandbox is a space of self-compassion.

I always like to say that the most important practice we can engage in is the practice of getting back ON the wagon.

Or if you don’t like the metaphor of falling off the wagon, the most important practice we can engage in is the practice of starting again.

You are human. You will make commitments and life will get in the way and you will break them. It happens.

Falling off from a commitment is not a sign that you’re a failure and should give up. It’s an opportunity to remind yourself of how you feel when you’re doing what you love, and to compare that with how you feel when you’re not. It’s a chance to notice, and to choose to start again.

You always get to start again.

In her (highly recommended) book, The Willpower Instinct, Kelly McGonigal cites research that shows that people who forgive themselves for their willpower failures are dramatically more likely to succeed in their willpower goals than those who beat themselves up. Despite what you might have learned otherwise, despite the conventional wisdom that “a good beating” might be what we need to get ourselves back in line, research proves that self-compassion, rather than self-flagellation, is the true route to success.

So there you have it! My 10 Rules for the Creative Sandbox. If these rules work for you, here’s a little graphic I made to help you keep them front-of-mind (click here or on the image to download a printable PDF):

Is there anything you’d add? What “rules” help you get into that state of play and flow?

Pssst! It’s my birthday!

In case you didn’t get the memo…

I’m giving up my birthday (November 5th!) for charity: water, to bring clean water to people who desperately need it. Instead of presents, I’m asking people to donate to my 46×46 Birthday Challenge.

My goal: to raise $2,116, or 46 x $46 — enough to bring clean water to an entire community of 110 people.

You can help me do it!

EVERYONE who donates $5 or more will receive a $20 coupon to use in my store, anytime over the coming year. Plus there are all sorts of other gifts too: books, less-than half-price coachsulting sessions, custom-made videos…

Click here to change lives (and get a birthday present from me!)

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

October 30, 2012

Principles of Play: Rules for the Creative Sandbox, Part 2

This is Part 2 of a 3-part series on my 10 Rules for the Creative Sandbox.

Read the full introduction here.

10 Rules for the Creative Sandbox: Rules 1-5

1. There is no “wrong.”

Which also means there is no “right.” This is play, remember. The point is simply that you’re having fun.

2. It doesn’t matter if you like or hate the product; all that matters is joy in the process.

There’s time enough later for editing and crafting. Creative Sandbox time is all about letting your 4-year-old out, and 4-year-olds are much more interested in the experience of creating than in what they make.

If this concept is a tough one to wrap your head around, think sand castles, which will be washed away at the next high tide. Let yourself get your hands dirty (literally and/or metaphorically) and simply enjoy the work itself.

3. Think quantity, not quality.

If #2 above has you stressing, worried that you’ll never master your craft if you let yourself muck around like a 4-year-old, let me assure you, as long as you aren’t being sloppy, if you take care of the quantity, the quality will take care of itself.

There’s a great story, shared in the book Art & Fear, of a ceramics teacher who divided his class into two groups at the start of the semester:

All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality.
His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pound of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot—albeit a perfect one—to get an “A”.
Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work—and learning from their mistakes—the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.

‘Nuff said.

4. Think tiny (and daily).

One way to make sure you’re focused on quantity rather than quality is to keep your investment in any single piece of work really, really small.

After years of meticulously-made commissioned artworks, each taking anywhere from 30 to 250 hours to complete, I determined to dump the perfectionism and focus on cranking out as many finished pieces as possible. I wanted to be like the quantity group in the ceramics class, dammit, and in order to do that I needed to change my working style so that I wasn’t spending dozens or hundreds of hours on each piece.

I was inspired by one of my ArtEmpowers interviews, with daily painter Carol Marine, who found her flow (and a sustainable living, to boot!) when she switched from ginormous canvases to teeny, tiny ones — usually no more than 4-6″ square. When finishing a piece doesn’t require a huge time investment, it’s a lot easier to let go of perfection and just “crank ’em out,” like the quantity group in the ceramics class.

If you’re a painter, try working small. If you’re a writer, commit to a small word-count, maybe 500 words, or even 3 minutes of writing. Whatever your creative expression, I recommend keeping your Creative Sandbox time commitment really tiny, too, but consistent — daily, if at all possible.

When I started playing in the Creative Sandbox I committed to 15 minutes a day — that’s all. What I found was that 15 minutes was enough to get me into that blissful state of flow, where I forgot my ego for a time. It also frequently led to a Creative Sandbox session that lasted for much longer than 15 minutes. The hardest part, after all, is starting — once you start, it’s usually pretty easy to just keep going.

Perhaps the most surprising gift of my tiny, daily practice, though, was that it made me feel much more immersed in my creative spirit than I ever would have anticipated. I like to say that a tiny, daily practice — even just a few minutes a day — keeps your toe in the Creative Stream. (Click to tweet this.)

5. If you don’t know where to start, start anywhere.

Many times in my life I’ve had serious creative blocks, including two dark periods that each lasted over a decade. Each time I’ve feared that I’d permanently lost the ability to be creative.

And each time I discovered that the secret to getting those creative taps to flow again is simply to do something. Anything.

Just as you can’t theorize your way to a perfect pot, you can’t intellectualize your way to creativity — it requires action.

In 2010, when I determined to start making art again, I was burned out on my old, meticulous style of working and decided to try playing with canvas, which I’d never really used before. But I had no idea how to paint on canvas. I’d never used acrylic paints before.

I bought some small canvases at an art store, but it took months to work up the courage to open them up. Finally, with the intention to stay in the Creative Sandbox, firmly focused on process, I pulled out my paints and brushes and started making messes.

I didn’t much like the products of those first efforts (see #2 above) , but I had fun making those messes. And the best part: within 2 or 3 days, ideas were flowing and I couldn’t wait to get into my studio each morning to try them out!

Really, if you just start — anywhere — you’ll be surprised at how quickly you creative juices get going.

Click here for Part 3 (and a downloadable PDF of all ten rules!)

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Look Ma: Birthday Presents!!!

In just six days, on November 5th, I turn 46 (!), and I want to give YOU a present!

I’m giving up my birthday for charity: water, to bring clean water to people who desperately need it. Instead of presents, I’m asking people to donate to my 46×46 Birthday Challenge.

Imagine if you had to walk for hours to get water to drink, wash and cook with every single day, and instead of a fountain or tap, what you found at the end of your walk was a mud hole. That’s reality for millions of people, and it’s a big problem.

Diseases from unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation kill more people every year than all forms of violence,including war. And think of all the time and energy the goes to hauling water (usually women and children) that could be spent in productive ways!

My goal: to raise $2,116, or 46 x $46 — enough to bring clean water to an entire community of 110 people.

You can help me do it!

EVERYONE who donates $5 or more will receive a $20 coupon to use in my store, anytime over the coming year. Plus there are all sorts of other gifts too: books, coachsulting sessions for way-below-regular-prices, custom-made videos…

Click here to check it out and help make a difference in people’s lives. All of the proceeds from my Indiegogo campaign go directly to charity: water, and they’ll put every single penny to work on actual water projects (NOT to administrative overhead). Plus charity: water will even let us see the real people whose lives are touched by our dollars.

Cool, huh?

Help me turn my birthday into a lifesaving reason to celebrate!

Click here to change lives (and get a birthday present from me!)

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

October 28, 2012

Principles of Play: Rules for the Creative Sandbox

You’d think artists are the most creatively fulfilled people of all.

When I started my art business years ago, that was certainly true of me; I was full of energy and ideas, excited to try things, living in my joy. But after 15 years of making art only to the specifications of clients, rarely ever to feed my own soul, my poor creative spirit was malnourished and neglected.

Like a 4-year old locked in a closet, she was desperate to come out and play.

It was so ironic: I made my living from my art, but instead of feeling inspired and energized, I felt empty and lost. Even after I finally determined to get myself back to playing in my studio a couple of years ago, it took me months to actually do so.

I had no idea what I wanted to create, let alone how!

At the urging of a life coach, I spent a few weeks creating a line of calligraphic yoga art — my Irresistible Yogini. This fired me up me for awhile, but I soon found my commitment waning.

This confused the hell out of me. If what I wanted most was to make art, why couldn’t I get myself to do so?

Although it may seem counter-intuitive, the very things we long for the most are usually the ones that also foster the most fear and resistance, (click to tweet this) but that wasn’t exactly what was going on here. I was ready to play again, so why had I stopped?

Then it occurred to me: I was ready to play, but making my Irresistible Yogini pieces didn’t feel like play!

The work was too design-intensive and product-oriented — I’d spend an hour making 50 nearly-identical brush strokes to try and capture a specific feeling, then pick the best ones to scan and manipulate in Photoshop to create the finished product.

I realized that what I was doing “for play” was no different from the work I was doing for clients!

It wasn’t feeding the hunger that I’d gotten myself back at my drafting table to feed.

My creative spirit didn’t want meticulous planning and designing. She didn’t want to try and please potential buyers. She needed to play and let loose! She needed to explore, to make a mess, to ask “what would happen if…?” just like a 4-year old in a sandbox.

Bingo! That was it! My creative spirit needed to play and muck about like a kid in a sandbox.

The metaphor of the Creative Sandbox was born.

Playing in the Creative Sandbox proved easier said than done, at first. I felt as if my creative taps were locked down tight, the well run dry, all creativity quashed out of me from years of working only to please others, focused always on product and perfection.

I’d forgotten how to play!

I intuitively knew that what I needed was the opposite of product and perfection. I knew I needed the freedom to create as a 4-year-old child would create — simply for the joy of creating — but this did not come naturally to me! So to help myself distinguish my Creative Sandbox time from work time I came up with some rules for myself, which helped me let go of perfectionism and create more art in 2011 than I had in the previous decade! Over 150 pieces, in fact (many of which you can see here).

My Creative Sandbox rules have expanded and evolved to a list of 10, which I use in my own creative life, and also bring to the creativity workshops & retreats* I lead, online and around the world. The rules themselves are short, but my annotations got rather long for a single post, so I broke them into two separate articles.

Click here to read part 2 in this series: Rules 1-5.

Wanna make sure you don’t miss a morsel? There are a couple of options:

Sign up here to get my blog posts right in your inbox.

*Hey ho! Announcementy stuff: Retreat!!!

Squee! I’m revving up to lead my very first local, in-person weekend retreat, about an hour north of San Francisco, and you’re invited! You’ll re-connect with your creative spirit, and come away recharged, rejuvenated, and with a new sense of time and possibility. It could even change your life…

We’ll create together in community in a gorgeous setting with rolling hills (doesn’t it look beautiful?) I’ll provide “light” guidance to together craft a bubble of safety and fun (aligned with my 10 Rules for the Creative Sandbox, of course!), but mostly you’ll have 2-3 solid days to work on whatever project you want. Organic meals are included, so you’ll have no distractions — just immerse yourself in your creative joy.

If this sounds intriguing, I’d love your feedback to help me schedule this first retreat. Click here to answer a few short survey questions.

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

Calligraphy Art:

Media:

Dimensions:

Creation Notes:

In the Collection of:

Meanwhile… more birthday news…

Lowering standards while still pursuing excellence…

10 Rules for the Creative Sandbox: Rules 6-10

Pssst! It’s my birthday!

10 Rules for the Creative Sandbox: Rules 1-5

Look Ma: Birthday Presents!!!

The metaphor of the Creative Sandbox was born.

*Hey ho! Announcementy stuff: Retreat!!!

Would You Like Some Cookies?