So how’m I doing in my quest to re-invent my life, follow my evolving Blisses and create the life I really, really want?
Um… Yeah. Weekly Review…
Well, it’s now this week, and although I aim to do my review of the week when it’s still kinda last week, that obviously didn’t happen this week.
Or, rather, last week.
Which is actually kind of appropriate though, given that the theme of the week has to do with figuring out what works for me.
As in, I love performing, and the Universe gave me a big ‘ol reminder of that with a killer, standing-room-only concert last Saturday.
Or, rather, the Saturday before last Saturday; last Saturday will be part of next week’s review. Or, rather, this week’s review.
Did you get that?
Reminders and validation from the Universe
In any case, not only did I get a reminder of how much I love performing, and validation that I’m kinda really good at it, but I got to do a TV interview and performance, which I took as further validation from the Universe that it’s a really, really good thing for me to keep on doing.
Plus, thanks to a day and a half of being rather disabled by a mysterious and painful sudden hip muscle inflammation, I got a swift-kick-in-the-butt reminder from the Universe not to fritter my time away and do stupid things like put music on a back burner for months on end out of money panic, like I did for most of this year ’til now. Ahem.
All in all some mighty good lessons, I must say.
Playing hooky can be good for you
Meanwhile, after a couple of months of working crazyridiculousinhuman hours to enable me to take two separate weeks away from my business to go to Jazz Camp West and California Coast Music Camp, I’ve been playing hooky a lot in rebellion. Like, to get together with friends I haven’t seen in ages, and to play my ukulele, and to, well, just sorta enjoy life a little.
Working 80-hour weeks will do that to a person.
And I’ve discovered that:
1) Lightning does not strike
2) Somehow I always still manage to get my work done
3) Life is really a helluva lot better with a little “hooky-playing”
Of course, I’m such a native of the Good Girl Planet that I’m rarely able to play hooky without at least a modicum of guilt, but I’m getting better. Exercising my Bad Girl muscles is really, really good for girls like me.
Same thing with spending a little cash on tango dancing
Yep, after several months of lying low, I went Argentine tango dancing twice this week!
I say all the time that if you want to be happy, just figure out the things that make you happy, and do them.
My regular question for everyone trudging through life is “Are you doing the things that make you happy? If not, why not?”
Alas, when I’ve asked this question of myself lately, I’ve had to admit that although dancing is one of the things I love doing most in the world, I have not been doing it.
Partly because money’s been tight, and spending $10 or $15 to go out dancing (plus gas) means not putting that money toward bills or paying down debt.
Partly because I’ve been plagued by a foot injury on and off for over ten years, and I haven’t wanted to face the possibility that my foot is still not healed, three years after the surgery that was supposed to solve all of my problems.
Partly because I decided to spend my time working on my blog and developing my business, rather than going out dancing.
Now I’m discovering that spending a little bit of money and what-might-otherwise-be-blog-writing-and/or-business-development-time on R&R might, perhaps, be worth it every so often.
And, the best gift of all, so far (knock on wood), my foot seems to be doing okay!
So I think a weekly-or-so tango night is not an unreasonable request.
Which brings us to the kicker:
Maybe it’s okay not to be an overachiever all the time
Um, yeah. (Though I really hate that term, with its implications that you’re actually stupid, talentless and incompetent, and are somehow miraculously achieving things anyway. Feh.)
If you know me at all you know I have rather enormous expectations of myself. And rather enormous goals, which frequently include rather short humanly impossible timelines.
As in, my daily to-do list usually includes anywhere from 15-25 items, of which it’s really only humanly possible to complete, oh, maybe three or four, maybe five or six on a good day. And yet, instead of acknowledging that things take time, I instead usually default to beating myself up for not completing all 15-25 items.
It’s really not healthy, and yes, something I’m working on. We Palo Alto kids tend to be pretty hard on ourselves, growing up in the shadow of Stanford University as we did.
So this week (or rather, last week) was an exercise in tipping my toe in the water of “maybe it’s okay if I don’t try to accomplish everything all the time; maybe I get to chill a bit.”
1) Maybe it’s really okay if I only post twice a week on my blog (as my original goal stated! [Yet my internal goal silently morphed into posting daily! Meh!!])
2) Maybe it’s really okay if I don’t do what all the blog gurus and ce-web-rities say you have to do (ie, post excellent content daily)
3) Maybe it’s really okay that I’m letting my other blogs languish and am just concentrating on this one
In other words:
4) Maybe it’s really okay if I figure out what works for me
Obviously, I’m still doing the figuring out part, but that’s what I’ve figured out this week.