So how am I doing in my quest to re-invent my life, follow my evolving Blisses and create the life I really, really want?
It’s been a week of disruptions from “normal” life, so it’s a bit harder than usual to take stock. And you may have noticed that my originally-on-Fridays-and-now-usually-on-Saturdays Review is also over a day later than usual.
Well, first of all I’ve been in the midst of Deadline Hell, which has thrown everything into chaos.
Literally: I’m not the greatest of housekeepers in the best of circumstances, and when I’m in a “work fugue” my physical environment deteriorates around me as everything that isn’t directly helping me complete my deadlines (or an appealing way to procrastinate) gets sorely neglected.
Laundry is piling up. Papers are piling up. And if I don’t vacuum soon I’m in danger of being eaten by the kitty fluffs that are accumulating on the living room carpet and threatening to transmutate into a new life form.
(Obviously cleaning has never qualified as an appealing way to procrastinate. Ah, well.)
Second of all, this past week was the run-up to an event that has been in the planning for 3 years, and in the making for 50:
My parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.
Which entailed three days of parties. And since I’m The Daughter, I was on the hook to help with all of them.
Plus, I was commissioned by my mom’s sister to create a surprise anniversary ketubah for them. (Click to enlarge)
And on top of that, I got it into my head just a couple of weeks ago to make them a special handmade book from me and my brother and sister-in-law: 50 Reasons Why We Love You, Mom and Pop. (Click to enlarge)
(Leave it to me to decide to take on a project like this two weeks before the celebration, when I also had a custom ketubah deadline! Why I didn’t do this book project 3 months ago, I’ll never know. Sometimes I’m not that bright. Or maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment.)
(Click to enlarge)
In any case, I’ve been completely occupied with family obligations for the past three days, and was working non-stop on my multiple deadlines for the previous two weeks before then.
So. My 20-Minutes-A-Day commitment to work on my Irresistible Yogini line of yoga art has fallen into a state of deep disrepair. In fact, I fell completely off the wagon.
I simply could not manage to let myself work on my own artwork when I felt so crunched for time with my deadlines.
Even for 20 minutes.
Which seems utterly ridiculous when looked at from a rational perspective. I mean, come on: I spent way more than 20 minutes procrastinating every day on Twitter and Facebook, or reading a novel, or writing for my blog, or whatever. I could have used that time to make art!
However, if I look at this past two weeks from a rational perspective I also have to concede that I was making art! Just not the art I had committed to concentrating on.
Art for clients doesn’t count for this commitment; those 20 minutes are to be used exclusively for art for me. But the 50 Reasons book absolutely counts as art for me! Even more so than the yoga art, because it was purely a labor of love; nobody’s paying me for that book.
So. Although on the one hand I feel disappointed with myself for breaking my commitment to myself, on the other hand, many of those days of skipping my 20 minutes were not the total loss that I initially chalked them up as.
Occasional imbalance as part of overall balance
I remember maybe 20 years ago hearing someone on the radio talking about occasional imbalance being an inevitable (even essential?) part of a life of overall balance.
For example, when a couple has a baby, their lives are thrown totally out of balance for awhile as the needs of the baby outweigh most other needs. (Something my brother and his wife have intimate first-hand experience with right now! And apropos of nothing, did I mention that my nephew has my hair?)
Or, perhaps, when a daughter who loves her parents wants to help them celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary (while also – did I mention this? – preparing to leave her business for a week to attend Jazz Camp West).
Imagine: 50 years together!
Yoga art and blogs can wait; a 50th anniversary (and the enormous family reunion that accompanied it) comes but once in a lifetime.
Perhaps I can be gentle and forgiving with myself for taking time to celebrate and focus on the commitment that my parents have managed to keep for 5o years. My parents, who have not only beat the odds, but who have actually grown closer together over five decades of joys and sorrows, triumphs and challenges.
How many people can you say that about?
They are truly my heroes.
And life goes on
Somehow, amidst the chaos and the work fugue (did I mention I had to make the 20-minute drive to the framer no fewer than four times this week for my parents’ ketubah? Don’t ask), I still managed to:
- meet a new girlfriend for tea
- do a Thriving Artists Project interview (with photographer Anna Kuperberg)
- start conversations with a couple of artist business coaches about partnering for the Thriving Artists Project (watch for details later..)
- schedule more Thriving Artists Project interviews (with music artist The Shadow Chameleon, percussionist/producer PC Muñoz and singer/songwriter Cosy Sheridan)
- make it to a Linchpin Meetup
- get either a vinyasa yoga class or a long walk by the Bay almost every day
Dang. In the scheme of things, that’s actually pretty damn good.
So although, yes, it’s been a week of chaos and broken commitments, it’s also been a week of forward movement, connection and love.
And really, what more can you ask for?