This is the third of a 3-part series on my 10 Rules for the Creative Sandbox.

The Creative Sandbox is that space of flow, experimentation and play that, as a creator, I most long to be in. It’s where you lose yourself while finding your joy, and after early childhood, it can be a hard place to find. In my journey toward living my most creative life I’ve found 10 “rules” that have served me well, which I share with you in this series.

Read the full introduction here and Part 2 here.

10 Rules for the Creative Sandbox: Rules 6-10

6. When in doubt, ask “What if…?”

Experimentation is all about trying things, just to see what will happen. Creativity is not about perfection and technical mastery; it’s about finding solutions to problems, making discoveries and allowing them to pull you in a new direction. When you express an idea in a way that pleases you, you may find yourself in a groove, which feels great… until it turns into a rut.

Ruts never feel like the Creative Sandbox. They feel more like a trap. The quickest way out? Ask “What would happen if…?”

What if I drip the paint instead of brush it?

What if I turn the canvas upside down?

What if I sew on the canvas?

What if the character in my story goes left instead of right?

What if I tap my ukulele instead of strumming it?

These are the kinds of questions that can quickly get you joyfully sloshing metaphorical sand about once again.

7. When you get to a crossroads, take the path you fear.

As a visual artist (and in fact as a performer, coach and teacher, too), I prefer to work very improvisationally. I smoosh paint and ink around on paper or canvas just to see what it will do (see #6 above). Kinda like finger painting for adults. I may do this for several layers, then later, after the paper is dry, I find interesting sections on the paper to tear or cut out and turn into a finished piece. (I demonstrate my entire process step-by-step in the video tutorials that come in my Playshop-In-A-Box.)

This is where my editor comes in. Even though I come to the Creative Sandbox focused on process, there’s always a back-and-forth between my 4-year-old and my editor.

It’s something of a contradiction: I have the intention of keeping the focus on process, but I confess I do also aim to end up with something that pleases me, something that feels well-crafted and “finished.”

This creates a bit of tension. There’s often a moment in the art-creation process when a piece doesn’t feel quite “done,” but there’s always a risk that the thing I’m contemplating adding may end up ruining rather than improving it.

My rule for myself here is to always take the route that may lead to “ruin,” even though I might very well lose something I like. (Another reason I adhere to #4 above.)

My thinking here is that I don’t want to get stuck in “preciousness,” stalled in the land of UFOs (Un-Finished Objects) because of fear I’d mess them up. That’s a sure path right back to stuckness — the opposite direction of where I’d like to be.

I’d rather crank out a bunch of “ruined disasters” than never finish anything out of fear I’ll mess up. (Click to tweet this.) That’s the Creative Sandbox path of growth and learning

Do the thing you fear. (If you’re a visual artist, go ahead and make liberal use of your digital camera or scanner if you really want to hang on to what you’ve got before you take that risky step!)

8. The Creative Sandbox is a gremlin-free zone

Gremlins are my term for those self-critical, self-doubting voices that we all have inside. The one that says “You’re not good enough,” the one that says, “Who do you think you are to try this?” and any variation thereof. Also known as the Inner Critic, the saboteur, monsters… they have a lot of names, these gremlins.

Tara Mohr likens this nasty internal voice to a guard patrolling the edge of your comfort zone. As long as you stay safely inside, the guard can go to sleep, but the second you get close to the edge, watch out — that’s when those nasty voices start yelling at you.

Learning to tame those gremlin voices is a life-long process. I’ve learned a lot of ninja gremlin-training tools, but the most important one of all is just to notice when it’s a gremlin talking, hear its voice and decide not to take direction from it.

The thing about true creativity is that it always happens in uncertainty, decidedly outside of your comfort zone. (Think about it: if there’s certainty around what you’re doing, that means it’s been done before, and if it’s been done before, it’s not truly creative, right?)

That means that every single time you engage in a creative act, your gremlins are bound to get loud and nasty.

Knowing this, I advise consciously setting up your Creative Sandbox space as a gremlin-free zone. You can alert any gremlins lurking about that they are not allowed inside, and if (when!) you notice any appearing, physically remove them.

You can have fun with this by literally acting out picking up said gremlin(s) and putting them outside and closing the door, or imagining drop-kicking them out the window (in a less peaceful mood), or sending them off somewhere. (I like to send mine off to get a pedicure. My gremlins get way more pedicures than I do!)

9. The Creative Sandbox is a comparison-free zone.

Another danger lurking around the Creative Sandbox is something I like to call the Comparison Trap.

I think I step in this trap more than anyone on the planet. (I’m a 4 on the Enneagram, and our core “vice” or “passion” [read: challenge] is envy, so it’s not really much of a surprise.)

If you’ve ever looked at someone else’s work and thought, “Man, I wish I could create something as awesome as that! My work will never be that good. I suck,” you know what it feels like to be caught in the Comparison Trap.

Stepping in the Comparison Trap always starts up those gremlin voices.

I had a revelation about this comparison thing many years ago, in a workshop on making decorated letters. Several of us had spread our experiments out on the floor, and I was admiring another student’s work, wishing my work was as cool and interesting as hers, feeling badly about myself. My work just felt so boring in comparison.

Imagine my surprise when this very student turned to me and said “Melissa, your work is so cool and interesting! I wish my work was like yours.”

Something clicked for me right then. I realized that someone else’s work will always feel more interesting and exciting to me than my own, because their work comes from their unconscious — a place that is completely unknown to me. My own unconscious, though not entirely known, is dramatically more familiar a space to me than anyone else’s, so of course my work is going to feel more familiar (and hence more “boring”) to me than theirs!

The truth is that each of us has a unique voice, a unique way of expressing ourselves, which is as valid as any other way. Using that unique way of yours to express what’s inside of you is your birthright, and your gift to the Universe. (And if any judgment starts to hone in on your Creative Sandbox time, don’t forget rule #2.)

10. The Creative Sandbox is a space of self-compassion.

I always like to say that the most important practice we can engage in is the practice of getting back ON the wagon.

Or if you don’t like the metaphor of falling off the wagon, the most important practice we can engage in is the practice of starting again.

You are human. You will make commitments and life will get in the way and you will break them. It happens.

Falling off from a commitment is not a sign that you’re a failure and should give up. It’s an opportunity to remind yourself of how you feel when you’re doing what you love, and to compare that with how you feel when you’re not. It’s a chance to notice, and to choose to start again.

You always get to start again.

In her (highly recommended) book, The Willpower Instinct, Kelly McGonigal cites research that shows that people who forgive themselves for their willpower failures are dramatically more likely to succeed in their willpower goals than those who beat themselves up. Despite what you might have learned otherwise, despite the conventional wisdom that “a good beating” might be what we need to get ourselves back in line, research proves that self-compassion, rather than self-flagellation, is the true route to success.

So there you have it! My 10 Rules for the Creative Sandbox. If these rules work for you, here’s a little graphic I made to help you keep them front-of-mind (click here or on the image to download a printable PDF):

Is there anything you’d add? What “rules” help you get into that state of play and flow?

Pssst! It’s my birthday!

In case you didn’t get the memo…

I’m giving up my birthday (November 5th!) for charity: water, to bring clean water to people who desperately need it. Instead of presents, I’m asking people to donate to my 46×46 Birthday Challenge.

My goal: to raise $2,116, or 46 x $46 — enough to bring clean water to an entire community of 110 people.

You can help me do it!

EVERYONE who donates $5 or more will receive a $20 coupon to use in my store, anytime over the coming year. Plus there are all sorts of other gifts too: books, less-than half-price coachsulting sessions, custom-made videos…

Click here to change lives (and get a birthday present from me!)

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!