Blog - Melissa Dinwiddie | Create the Impossible™ | Innovation Keynote Speaker & Consultant

February 12, 2012

Upping the Peacefulness Quotient

Last week I sent a survey out to my subscribers and clients, soliciting their feedback in order to learn how I can best help my audience members to live their own creative lives.

Included in the survey was a list of challenges that can get in the way of living the life of your dreams.

On a scale of 1 (“Not an issue for me”) to 5 (“YES! I could TOTALLY use help with this!”), fully half of those who have responded so far rated “I don’t have enough white space in my day” as either 4 (29%) or 5 (21%).

That’s half of my audience (at least of those who took the time to respond) who find the lack of “white space” as either a challenge, or a really big challenge.

I can totally relate.

Creating White Space

BTW, this question was not by any means the one on my survey with the most 4 and 5 ratings. Other higher scorers were the following:

I want to find my creative voice — 53% (4=24%, 5=29%)
I want to develop a consistent practice — 60% (4=26%, 5=34%)
I’m just generally holding back and playing small — 66% (4=37%, 5=29%)
I have too many interests! — 55% (4=26%, 5=29%)

and the grand winner:

I just need some accountability to get myself doing and creating! — 69% (4=37%, 5=32%)

I’m working right now on an offer to help with that last one, btw, which I’ll roll out for my subscribers in the next few weeks. If they snap up the available openings, I may never open it up to the wider public. So if that interests you and you’re not already a subscriber, sign yourself up right now using the form at the top right of this page.

And if you are already a subscriber but you haven’t filled out the survey yet, check your inbox for the email with the link to do so (or email me if you can’t find it, and I’ll be happy to send it again.)

But back to the problem of white space.

This is a particular challenge in my own life. As a Passion Pluralite, and one with “Achiever” in my top 5 Strengthsfinder 2.0 strengths, the fact is I’m hard-wired to always want to be doing something, pursuing mastery, and juggling a lot of balls.

John T. Unger once tweeted something about juggling so many balls that he couldn’t see the sky. It was a great visual, one that has stuck with me (and also led me to believe we were separated at birth).

The thing is, I’ve come to realize that I like juggling a lot of balls. Just not always quite as many as I’ve usually got in the air.

I dream of days with wider margins, but creating those margins is an ongoing challenge for me. Just as nature abhors a vacuum and will always seek to fill it, apparently I abhor a vacuum in my day.

Or at least part of me does — the part that keeps adding balls to those already flying around overhead.

So.

As I endeavor to follow the Way of the Peaceful Entrepreneur, I’m on the lookout for what I can take off of my plate to make space for all the stuff I really, really want. Yet so much of what’s on my plate already is stuff I really, really want!

And yet I just seem to keep piling it on…

What’s a Passion Pluralite to do?

This Passion Pluralite learned long ago a Truth of Truths for anyone with a bazillion Blisses that they want, oh-so-eagerly to follow:

You really can do everything you want, just not all at the same time.

This hit me especially hard this week, as I realized that my #12in12 commitment for February, to write a minimum of 750 words/day on my Book-Like Project*, was, in fact, preventing me from doing some of the other Really Important writing I’m committed to.

(Overly detailed note: In reality, my daily word-count has averaged around 1200 words, but I’m keeping the official commitment to 750 so I’m more assured of feeling successful!)

*(“Book-Like Project,” btw, is what I’ve taken to calling it, instead of “my book,” in an attempt to shut up my Inner Critic, who was incessantly snapping at me that I’m not up to the task of writing a book, that I’ll fail, and who am I to even think I could take on such an audacious project, anyway? It seems to be helping. A “Book-Like Project” is much less audacious-sounding than a “Book,” and the term is confusing my Inner Critic just enough that it makes her a bit dizzy (she’s a grey-haired, pinch-lipped senior citizen, and newfangled stuff tends to bamboozle her), and she toddles off to Starbucks for a latte. This is good.)

Much as I wanted (want!) to write daily on my Book-Like Project, it was keeping me from other stuff I also want:

Like my blog posts (which, yes, I could publish less frequently, but I’ve just got so damn much I want to say!)

And the guest posts I’ve committed to doing for other blogs.

And the eBook, which I’ve been in the final editing stages of for way too long now, and simply must finish!

So.

This week, I was reminded of the Passion Pluralite’s Truth of Truths (see above), and took a hard look at my writing commitments.

What if, I asked myself, I shifted my expectations to the side, just a tad? What if, instead of adding “write 750+ words/day on my Book-Like Project” to my already overfilled daily plate, I allowed myself to count ANY AND ALL of my “writing for (eventual) publication” toward my daily goal?

What, I asked myself, might that allow me to do? If I spent, say, 3-4 days a week on blog posts (both of the personal and guest variety), and 3-4 days a week on the eBook (first, and then once that’s done, on the Book-Like Project)?

Here are some of the answers:

I could finish the damn eBook this week (editing the eBook counts toward the daily commitment, even if it’s spending time editing rather than cranking out 750-1300 words worth of “virgin sentences”)
I could start to build up a backlog of posts for Living A Creative Life, so I’m not always scrambling to write one at the last minute (which is, I confess, the usual way these posts get written…)
I could write all those guest posts in advance, too
I could still work on the Book-Like Project (just not quite as quickly as I want)

Can you say “Major upping of peacefulness quotient”?

Major upping of peacefulness quotient!

Sorry, couldn’t help myself. I’m literally still swooning from the instantaneous decrease in my stress level when I imagined a life with ONE daily word-count standard, instead of several.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [Deep, eyes-closed sigh.]

True, the Book-Like Project will have to wait to get the level of attention I’d like to devote to it. But you know what? I’m okay with that.

I still get to do everything I want. Just not all at the same time.

Life is good.

What about you? Is there something you could shift, a whole lot or just a tad, to up your own peacefulness quotient? Tell us about it in the comments below.

xo, Melissa <3
PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

February 9, 2012

Battling the Resistance Demon (Part 1) [Video]

When I was 13, I stopped doing art.

Not that I gave up on all creative pursuits. I played viola in the school orchestra, and at 16 I discovered dance, my first Bliss, which I pursued with a manic passion, until I was permanently sidelined by an injury a few years later (long story).

But drawing? Painting? Making cool stuff with my hands? That, it seemed to me at the time, was the purview of other folks.

Meanwhile, while I was focusing on other things, my friend Karen was honing her already-significant drawing and design skills. A visit with her to the art classroom in high school, where other classmates’ works lined the walls and shelves, seemed to offer irrefutable evidence that art was something other people had a monopoly on.

They were the artists. Therefore (or so I believed), I wasn’t.

I forged ahead, through college and grad school, with a rather zombie-like doggedness, and pretty much gave up on my creative spirit. (Academia has a way of sucking creativity out of you.)

The inner creative child cannot easily be suppressed forever, though, and thankfully, finally, at 28, I “re-discovered” mine. She was not dead, as I’d almost come to believe, but just needed some permission and play to spring fully back to life.

I gave my inner creative child art and creativity classes in every form and genre I could find — writing, painting, drawing, ceramics, calligraphy — and that last one, calligraphy, bit me hard. I was quickly hooked, immersed myself in the pursuit of mastering this art form, and gradually, over the years, I turned it into my livelihood.

The “Not An Artist” title, I discovered, had never been an accurate one, although I should say that it took me a number of years to fully claim the title as “Artist” (a fact which deserves, and no doubt will get, its own blog post another time).

Now I can only shake my head and laugh sadly at the pain those years of denying my creative spirit caused me. I now refer to the time from age 13 to 28 as “my 15-year hiatus.”

The Persistence of Resistance

I’d like to tell you that I and my inner creative child lived happily ever after from that point on, but I’d be lying.

As I share in the video above (and in this post), the reality is that, after I had finally reconnected with my creative spirit, it didn’t take long for the demon of Resistance to rear its ugly head and try and separate us once again.

What helped? That time around (because, dear reader, I hate to tell you, but Resistance comes in a multitude of costumes and is nothing if not persistent), what brought me and my creative spirit together again was the book The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, now known the world over as a classic in the realm of helping people reclaim their innate creativity.

Julia gave me permission to play. To experiment. To discover what was inside me to discover. To be okay with and embrace my own, unique way of dancing with my inner muse.

I still think fondly of that time of re-emergence, and Julia Cameron has my undying gratitude.

If I were to do it all again, though, this time around I wouldn’t go it alone. I’ve learned how powerful it is to go through a transformative process in community with others on the same path.

The really cool thing is that I do get to do it all again. We all do.

I don’t mean re-reading and re-doing The Artist’s Way (although that’s certainly an option!) I mean allowing my creative spirit to grow, re-emerge, shed its skin, become more truly me and shine ever more brightly.

And the best part of all is that now, oh-so-many years later, I get to guide other people on their own journeys of creative re-discovery. That’s my main focus here, in the Circles I run, in my coaching practice, and in the courses and workshops I’m brewing up.

Playing Around Online

Speaking of which (see how I did that?), I’ve got just such a course coming up in about a month, which I’m super-excited to be co-teaching with my brilliant partner and fellow artist and coach, Kelly Hevel. It’s called Playing Around Online, and it’s our way of introducing ourselves, and our new joint venture, to you.

(It’s also our online version of what we’re brewing up in “3-D”: creative immersion vacations in inspiring locations around the world! Coming September 29-October 7, Playing Around Istanbul — a week-long creativity retreat in (wait for it…) Istanbul! Yeah, you seriously want to mark your calendar and start saving your pennies for that one. But back to Playing Around Online…)

For 12 weeks, from March 14-May 30, we’ll gently lead you in an ongoing “playdate for the big kids,” where you’ll get to shed your inhibitions, try out new techniques, inject your personality into your art, writing, and creative crafts — and learn to use your unique life story as inspiration!

I’ll be sharing more about Playing Around Online over the coming weeks (including the “grand opening” of our website). For now, I invite you just to notice how your body and soul respond to the idea of 12 weeks together, attending to your creative spirit.

Excited? Scared? Raring to go? Resistant?

Any one of those reactions could be your inner creative telling you it’s time for this.

No need to make any decisions right now — just notice. And pay special attention to that voice of Resistance, which might be saying something like “You’re not an artist!” or “You don’t deserve this!” or “You don’t need this!” or “What a ridiculous waste of time!” or “What a ridiculous waste of money!” or “You’re not good enough!”

Um, yeah. (All voices I’ve heard in my own head, by the way, when seeking to dance more fully with my own inner muse. And pretty reliable indicators that whatever is making them shout so loud is probably exactly what I need!)

Free Tele-Party!

Ready to battle that Resistance demon? Mark your calendar and fill in the form below to come to the free tele-party* that Kelly and I are hosting on Wednesday, March 7, from 10:30-noon PST, Living the Creative Life: Fact vs. Fiction. We’ll be sharing the stories of our own creative journeys (including how we’ve battled the Resistance demon!), exposing the myths and truths around what it means to live a creative life, and inviting you to join in what we hope will be a lively conversation.

Plus you’ll get a chance to win a free spot in Playing Around Online — how cool is that?

If you’re even the slightest bit interested, just fill in the form below (or if you’re reading this on email and the form isn’t working, just click here to fill out the online form) and we’ll keep you posted on how to register for the free tele-party and the chance to win that scholarship spot.

I hope you’ll join us on March 7th!

What forms has the Resistance demon taken in your life? How have you succeeded in battling it?

xo, Melissa <3

PS – Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

* What’s a tele-party? It’s like a party of creatives (including “wannabe,” and think-they’re-not-creatives), over the phone. We could call it a teleseminar, but that sounds so “markety,” dry and academic — which we definitely are not!

February 5, 2012

Are You Reneging On Your Gifts?

What did your parents model to you about creative Bliss?

Was it seen as important? Or an impossibility, to be shoved aside and boxed away, in favor of more “practical” things?

There’s a legend in my family that when my parents met, my father wanted to be an actor, but that he closed the door on that dream when my mom said she wouldn’t marry someone with the kind of unstable income that an acting career was sure to bring.

How serious my dad was about pursuing the acting bug that bit him in college I’ll never know. Maybe it was a passing phase. Maybe he would have been happier doing community theater and making his income elsewhere anyway. I know he loved the high-tech career he went on to build, and I certainly had a more stable home life with an engineer/systems analyst father than I imagine I would have had with an actor father.

And yet.

What do we model for our children when we “reneg on our gifts,” as my friend B puts it? Her own mother only pursued her inborn talent for art once the kids were all grown and gone, and I could name several other friends off the top of my head whose parents closed the door on their creative dreams in order to support their families.

What message does that kind of self-denial give to a child with a burning hunger to create?

Understand that I’m not casting blame or judgement on any of the adults who made decisions they saw as necessary to support their families. We’re dealt the hand we’re dealt, and we can each only do what we think is right at any given moment.

I am, however, asking us — now — to think about it.

Many of us have the luxury to create lives our parents and grandparents couldn’t have dreamed of. My immigrant great-grandparents escaped pogroms, sailed in steerage across the Atlantic and struggled to survive in a new world so that their children would have a better life. Generations later, I’m grateful for the opportunities in my world that have allowed me to focus on building a business that sustains me financially, nourishes me creatively, and also changes the world.

Imagine!

Time, place and good fortune have made it a helluva lot easier for me to follow my Bliss than it was for my antecedents.

Although “the economy” is in the dumps and this is perhaps the first generation that hasn’t almost automatically surpassed their parents’ standard of living, we still have opportunities that simply didn’t exist for my ancestors in the shtetl.

For most of us, the path to following your Bliss has never been more accessible.

For many people nowadays, at least those with the resources to read a post like this, what’s really getting in the way is not drought, or famine, or living in a war zone, it’s mindset.

The idea that we don’t deserve to pursue our creative passions. Or that doing so is frivolous and unimportant.

If that wasn’t what we were told in words, it’s often what we were told in actions.

Now let me ask you: if the adults in your life boxed up their dreams, imagine, how might your life might be different now if you’d witnessed them making time and space to follow their Bliss instead?

It must be said that a parent who follows her or his Bliss to the exclusion of effectively caring for their family is no better a model than one who closes the door on that Bliss entirely. But there has to be a balance, don’t you think?

—

This is on my mind today because of an email I received from a friend.

A little background:

A couple of weeks ago, in this post, I introduced my friend and business partner, Kelly Hevel, and announced that we’ll be co-teaching a week-long creativity retreat in Istanbul (yes, as in Turkey!) in the fall, and a 12-week online course coming up later this month, Playing Around Online (starting ~~February 29~~! UPDATE: we’ll be holding a free seminar, Living the Creative Life: Fact vs. Fiction, on March 7, and the first official class meeting will be on March 14, running through the end of May).

We also announced a contest to win a scholarship to do Playing Around Online for free — all that was required to enter was to answer a survey as to time and logistical preferences, and answer the question “Why do you want to win the scholarship spot?”

The response was terrific, and the scholarship entries were all so wonderful it was really hard to pick! Among the entrants were several clients I’ve absolutely adored working with, friends from the online world, and friends from the 3-D world.

The truth is, I wanted all of them in the course!

But we’re running a business, not a charity, and our goal for Playing Around Online is to make money while we make a difference, so that we can do even more cool stuff to change the world. So we gritted our teeth and determined to limit the winner to one.

[Note: There will actually be a second opportunity to win a scholarship to Playing Around Online, plus other ways to potentially do the course for free, so be sure to subscribe using the form at the upper right and stay tuned!]

Ultimately, we chose the person whose entry most spoke to us as embodying the qualities we’re most looking for in our class participants, including:

A positive outlook
Readiness for transformation and change
A sense of 100% responsibility for their own happiness
Self-awareness
A big creative hunger

Here’s the winning entry, from Christine:

It would be so cool to see what my life would be like during the 12 week journey. I am a full-time mum, an emerging full-time artist desperately trying to absorb everything out there in cyberspace to be successful while trying to find what kind of artist I’m going to be. To actually commit to “play” for that length of time. I have a hard time “playing” as my days are so structured trying to manage family, daily paintings, and coming up with a style to jump off from and produce a killer body of work, (I’m taking myself waaaay to seriously!) and I think it would force me to loosen up (omg! scary thought!) and remember why I got a second chance in life to rediscover my first love of making art and not caring who likes it or buys it. 🙂

Kelly and I loved that Christine is already imagining how her life will be changed by the course. That she’s working hard to figure out what she needs to figure out. That she knows she has a hard time playing and is ready to change that. That she understands the importance of making art for the love of it, even while she’s trying to figure out how to make a living from it.

I don’t actually care whether Christine — or anyone — wants to be an artist, or make a living from their art.

And to be clear, Playing Around Online is most definitely NOT limited to artists! As it says on our not-quite-live website,

We know you are supposed to “target your niche”, but really, Playing Around Online is for everybody! If you are interested in making art, or exploring your creativity, and you’re ready for some transformation, you are hereby given permission to come. No expertise required.
We aim to create a safe place to create, period. These are not master classes and the focus is not on perfecting your technique. Our name pretty much says it all, we want you to play and if you want us, we want you!
Please note: experienced artists and creators are welcome as well. We think everyone should take some time to play.

So, no, it doesn’t matter to me whether you want to make art, or make a living from that art. What I care deeply about is that she (and YOU, and everyone) follows her creative Bliss, whatever that Bliss might be.

What prompted me to share this today was an email from another entrant, and friend of mine:

So glad to read that a busy and full-time mum is giving herself permission to follow her art, and that she won! A mother (or father) who follows her (his) bliss is a MODEL for her child/children. Her/his following her/his passion speaks volumes to a child.

Amen.

It moved me so much that this person, who also really wanted that free scholarship, could look past the fact that she didn’t win, and celebrate how wonderful it is that the person who did win will model for her kids the importance of keeping your Bliss at the center of your life.

Yes!

I don’t have children, but I know that following my passion speaks volumes to those who know me, regardless of their age. It’s ultimately the reason why this blog exists.

And I intend to keep doing it.

Now your turn. What do you think? Did your parents follow their own Blisses? How did their model affect your mindset about your creative passions? And what are you doing now to feed your own creative hunger and follow your Bliss(es)?
xo, Melissa <3
PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

January 29, 2012

January Review: 1 down, 11 to go

If January is any indicator, this year is going to whiz by. It feels like I just made my first #12in12 commitment, and boom — we’re at the end of the month!

To recap, inspired by this post by Jacqueline, I’ve committed to taking on a new challenge every month of this year. It may be a goal I’d like to integrate as a permanent habit, or it may be something I’m trying out just for the month.

Either way, you’re invited to join me!

For January, I took on two big commitments, one very publicly, and one which started as a stealth challenge, and then later became public.

Let’s review!

Commitment 1: The Great Bedtime Experiment

My challenge was to get to bed every night this month by 11pm. Lights out.

Given that my previous M.O. was 2am (or later), this represented a pretty radical behavior change. Honestly, I was not sure I could do it. I’d tried — and failed — to move my bedtime up many times in the past, and knew that this could be just one more failure in my logbook.

So, how’s it going?

I’m truly delighted to report that the Great Bedtime Experiment is going glowingly! It has had, however, some rather surprising results!

Unexpected Results: Increased Stress!

I was surprised and rather amused that the first few days of the GBE actually increased my stress level.

Huh?

Previously, if I didn’t finish everything on my to-do list, I’d just stay up later. There seemed to be no real “end” to my day. Of course I’d always get to bed eventually, but my perception of my day was that it was kind of limitless.

Not done? Just keep working!

This vicious cycle kept me up late most nights, which left me wrecked the next day, which was, of course, the big impetus to try a new, more self-compassionate way.

Now that I “had” to get to bed by 11pm, suddenly my work days had a “hard end” to them. I couldn’t just keep going like the Energizer Bunny, and that knowledge stressed me the hell out for a few days. All day long I’d be anxiously watching the clock, knowing I had to get X, Y and Z done, and myself into bed, by 11:00.

But of course it was just a head game. The reality is, I never got everything on my list done, no matter how late I stayed up. Now I was just more conscious of prioritizing. More mindful of having to let stuff go for now.

That unexpected rise in anxiety only lasted a few days, as I mentioned, and then I experienced an energetic shift that felt quite easy and natural. I actually took to the new regime quite happily, which was something of a surprise since previous attempts at earlier bedtimes had always resulted in such dismal failure.

Anticipated Results: Better Prioritizing!

Several times in the past 4 weeks (practically daily, in fact), I’ve had to let go of something I’d wanted to get done because it was time to shut down. Without the Great Bedtime Experiment commitment, I would have kept going — and suffered for it the next day. Instead, I was able to see that all that suffering simply wasn’t worth it. Very few things, it turns out, are really that urgent, no matter how much they might feel like they are.

(Granted, I didn’t have any major product launches or big client deadlines — thank god — so my resolve has not yet been tested as strongly as it might have been… and probably will be at some point…)

Blog post not done? ArtSpark* not loaded and scheduled? You know what, that sucks, and it’s definitely not good to not maintain consistency, but I made the decision that my priority is health and sanity — I’m on the Way of the Peaceful Entrepreneur, after all. Nobody was gonna die (always the ultimate gauge of relative importance), so I went to bed.

And life went on.

Lo and behold, with a “hard end” to my day, my ability to prioritize has (largely) gotten better! And my ability to just let stuff go altogether is improving too, which is, of course, part of my ultimate goal of living a more humane, Self-Compassionate life.

So yay me!

Anticipated Results: Melissa Pushes the Limits!

I confess I have (not surprisingly) learned exactly how far I can push the end of my day and still follow the letter (if not the spirit) of the “law.” I originally set my ideal computer shut-down time as 9:30, or 10:00pm at the latest. That allows for a gentle, meandering wind-down, plenty of time to do my getting-ready-for-bed ritual and toilet (said in a French accent) in a relaxing manner. Even engage in some pillow talk with lights out well before 11:00, and sleep soon thereafter.

More common lately, I’ll confess, is a rushed 10:30 (or later!) shut-down, which has me racing to beat the clock into bed and still fussing with my iPhone after I’ve achieved a “technical” lights-out (but not devices out).

Yeah, skirting the rules, for sure, and I know it! I’m thinking it would be a good idea to set my Mac to automatically shut down at 10:15, or even 10:00, instead of 10:30. (Turns out the Mac gives you a 9 minute grace period. And fyi, it isn’t truly an auto shut down, because most of the programs I run have to be manually quit out of, otherwise they’ll prevent the computer from shutting down.)

So, I’ve learned (or relearned what I already knew) that I’ll push the limits. Better, then, to hem those limits in a bit, I think…

Other results: No Cures, but Improved Quality of Life Nonetheless

Though I was hoping the Great Bedtime Experiment would cure my tendency toward insomnia and migraines, I’ve had no such luck. It doesn’t seem to have affected them one way or another. But, on a positive note, the insomniac attacks have not left me as utterly destroyed as in the past. I’m still exhausted and tired, but before the GBE I was wrecked. And virtually guaranteed a migraine sometime during the week.

Now, even if I’m awake for 4 hours in the middle of the night, the very fact that I got to bed earlier in the first place has established a foundation of sleep that my body likes much, much better. Tired, yes; utterly destroyed, no.

So that’s an improvement.

The Upshot

I LOVE this new way of being (which, by the way, is also helping me open up to taking time for R&R in other ways — a good thing!), and fully intend to continue with my 11pm lights-out general rule going forward.

Commitment 2: Daily Clutter-Busting

Tackling my long-held clutter issue started as a stealth commitment. I decided to try out doing one thing to bust clutter every day, and just see how it went. No need, I figured, to broadcast to the world that oy vey I would really like to clear up my clutter problem!!!

So I’d do it quietly.

I’ve tried similar projects in the past, but never managed to keep it up. This time, though, my persistence has been nothing short of miraculous.

What helped?

First, rather than set a daily time commitment (ie, 15 minutes a day), I made my commitment to “do one thing.” Sometimes my “thing” was tiny, like sorting and filing all the papers in a small pile, and sometimes it was more dramatic, like purging an entire drawer or cupboard, but making the discrete commitment requirement open-ended like this seems to work better for me.

I also intentionally made my clutter-busting commitment just for the month of January. I will absolutely be re-upping at the end of the month (and I expect to do so every month throughout the year), but rather than making my initial commitment indefinite (which makes it feel overwhelming, annoying and downright painful), I’m taking it one month at a time (which makes it feel more like a fun game!)

Meanwhile, once I’d had a week or so of experiencing some real positive change, I decided to pull out another tool that I know from experience is always helpful for me: the power of community.

Let me back up for a moment and say that several months ago I thought of leveraging my ultimate success — complete with Before and After pics — into some kind of paid program (the ability to turn my personal projects into a way to help other people and earn some income always being a positive incentive, after all!) But there was a problem with this idea. I couldn’t possibly lead some sort of home/studio beautification project (I thought) if my own space were a chaotic mess! I needed to achieve, if not perfection, at least massive improvement (I thought) before I could even consider it. And since that felt impossibly far off, the whole thing was a bust.

For some reason, though, I was able at the start of this year to break out of my in-the-box thinking. Thankfully, it occurred to me that (duh) I don’t actually have to be a model of perfection in order to be an effective leader!

In fact, my leadership style has never been one of “I have all my shit together, so follow me,” but more of “I’m trying out doing this interesting thing, wanna join me?”

I knew from experience that my Playshop format of checking in via phone/Skype/web conferencing, then working individually, then checking in again, really does make a difference — Playshoppers have told me as much, and I know there’ve been times when the only thing that got me to do a designated task was the very fact that I was on a call with other people who had set aside the time for that very thing.

Why not, I thought, create a similar group for busting clutter?

ClutterBusters was born.

Currently still a pilot program, I’ve been leading two clutter-busting sessions a week — Mondays at 5pm PST and Fridays at 10am PST — plus there’s a private Facebook group just for ClutterBusters. The pictures here show you some of what I’ve personally accomplished, and the success stories from the members of the pilot program have been so inspiring!

Under-sink cabinet before ClutterBusters

(Want in? There will be a membership fee at some point, probably in the next month or two, but you’re welcome to join the pilot program now for free if you want — click here for more info.)

What’s up for February?

Now that January is almost at an end, it’s time to set my #12in12 commitment for February! I’ll be continuing with the Great Bedtime Experiment, and with daily clutter-busting (yay ClutterBusters!). To that I’m adding a new commitment I actually started this week: to write a minimum of 750 words a day on the book I’m working on. (More on that later. For now, suffice it to say that my first ebook, Creating Happiness: 9 Essential Secrets for Creative People (and Everyone Else) is in the final edits and slated to come out via aspindle.com in the middle of February, and I’m now working on a new book.)

I’m also toying with the idea of restricting my time on email to twice a day.

Which honestly makes me break out into a cold sweat.

Which makes me think I really need to try it.

What do you think?

Wanna join me with a month of daily commitment? Have you made any interesting changes so far this year? What challenge will you be taking on in February?

xo, Melissa <3
PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

*As part of practicing Self-Compassion, and in keeping with my Stovetop model of life design for Passion Pluralites, the ArtSpark is currently on vacation while I work on my book. Time to rotate the pots on the stove, in other words. I reserve the right to make art any time I damn well please, of course, but my daily commitment to playing in the “Creative Sandbox” is now a commitment to writing, rather than splashing paint and ink around. If you’re a blog subscriber and/or ArtSpark subscriber, I will, of course, keep you posted when the ArtSpark returns from its travels! (I’d actually like to know where it’s headed — maybe Istanbul? — but it’s been mum on the subject.)

January 25, 2012

Inspiring Subscriber: Kelly Hevel

My subscribers are some of the most amazing, creative people I know. It is my great pleasure to introduce you to some of them via my Inspiring Subscriber Showcase series.

Today’s inspiring subscriber is Kelly Hevel, an American artist and creative coach living in Istanbul, Turkey. Kelly discovered Living A Creative Life in October, and a few emails back and forth revealed a kindred spirit, with philosophies, goals and dreams similar to my own.

Actually, I suspect we were separated at birth.

Well, one thing led to another, and before we knew it, we were joining forces as business partners, bringing to life a dream we’ve each had for years: destination creativity workshops and “arts immersion” vacations in different inspiring locales, starting with Istanbul! THIS FALL! (September 29-October 7, to be precise — mark your calendar!)

Our website’s not quite ready for the public, but I’m hard at work to make it ready, and I’ll post a link here when it’s done.

Meanwhile, Kelly and I didn’t want to wait til the fall to play with you, so we’re taking our act online with a 12-week course, Playing Around Online, which we’ll be officially announcing soon, starting with a free seminar — Living the Creative Life: Fact vs. Fiction. You are totally invited! There will be fun (and prizes!)

(My subscribers have already gotten a sneak peek, AND a shot at a free scholarship spot in the course — want in, too? Sign up at the top left and you’ll get the very next dispatch I send out about the course, including how to get in for free, before I shout about it here.)

In any case, I couldn’t be more thrilled to be working with Kelly. I think she’s awesome. I’m delighted to share her with you!

Read on to meet…

Inspiring Subscriber: Kelly Hevel

How are you living a creative life? How are you following your evolving bliss right now?

Living in Istanbul is a big part of how I follow my creative bliss. For me, the air in this city teems with creativity, although having spent a few weeks this summer on the Aegean coast and gaining renewed creative energy and direction from that leads me to believe that the creative energy goes beyond the city.

Is it Istanbul? Turkey? The Mediterranean, the culture, the people?

I don’t know, all I know is that I need to be here right now and being here gives me access to my creative energy. When I’m here I write more, paint more, bake more, MAKE more. The process of making, no matter what it is gives me satisfaction and energy to make more!

Amen, sister!

What Resistances or “self-installed glass ceilings” have have you faced that kept you from following your Bliss(es)?

The “shoulds.” “Shoulds” are the death of creativity and joy.

I should: not start over, follow my established career path, look for an easy, boring, secure job.

Also the “can’ts.” I can’t: learn something new, be an expert, run my own business.

Screw the shoulds and the can’ts!

What allowed you to get past the Resistance and onto your creative path? (Did you have a sudden revelation that things had to change? Did you experience a gradual shift?) What changes did you have to make?

All of the above!

I lived in New York and September 11th changed my entire outlook on life. It made me think about what I was doing with my life and if it was the right thing. Every day, for weeks and months, I looked at photos of those who were lost and wondered if they lived enough, did enough, would have made different choices if they new how short their time was. And I started searching for what I really wanted.

That took some time, and it changes, and I expect it will continue to change. But I always want to remember to make active choices and not allow choices to be made for me by choosing not to choose.

What have you learned by honoring the call of your Bliss(es) that you’d especially like to share?

That my blisses are varied, and change, and that’s OK. Some people have the same bliss their whole lives and that’s OK too.

That it’s OK to try something that seems like a fabulous pursuit and then decide that it wasn’t so great and let it go. Or find that it was great for awhile, but now it’s time to move on. That doesn’t make those non-blisses or failures, it just makes them finished (sometimes just for now).

I have also found that following my bliss gives me superhuman energy and even more ability to focus and concentrate than usual (I have an ex–treme–ly loooooong attention span when I am interested in something). It also makes me forget to eat, which is a not-good thing I am always trying to remedy.

What practices or rituals do you have to honor your creative spirit and keep your toe in the creative stream? (Tips, techniques, tools — whatever works for you. Anything goes.)

This changes over time. I work best if I have a routine: get up at this time, work on such-and-such for so long in such-and-such a place, then do such-and-such. But that routine changes.

For example in the summer I spent a lot of time writing and working at home. I got up at 9AM, worked on my balcony until 1PM, Moved inside and worked until 3PM, had lunch, took a shower (it gets hot in my apartment around 4PM in the summer). Worked for a few more hours, then quit at 7PM and went out into the world to recharge and relax.

My winter routine is completely different, partly because I am doing work which requires running around the city, and partly because of the gray weather. In the winter I work outside of home more, even when I’m writing or working on my computer because if I stay home I’ll just take naps!

Paying attention to what my energy level and body are asking of me help me to be more productive, and I am not creative when I’m not feeling cared for.

What is one more thing you’d like to share to spark up our own creative fires?

I’ll share two. First, creativity should be fun, not painful. I don’t buy that crap that you have to suffer to create art. Is it possible to create art when you’re miserable? Yes. Is it necessary to be miserable to create art? No.

Second, Follow your interests even if they seem silly or random. I love the story about Steve Jobs taking a calligraphy class at university. At the time it was completely random and he did it simply because he thought it was beautiful. But the result of it is that we don’t all have to stare at those weird blocky green letters that used to be the norm on computers. Because Steve Jobs studied calligraphy and offered a variety of fonts because they are visually appealing. So you never know what will come out of those random interests.

Of course, I once spent four months reading everything I could find on chimpanzee behavior just because it fascinated me. I enjoyed every minute of it and would do it again, but nothing useful came out of it–yet!

A Passion Pluralite if ever I met one. Thank you, Kelly! 🙂

In her own words: Artist, expat, art and creativity workshop giver.

Find Kelly online over at kellyhevel.com, and on Twitter as @thecreativeurge.

Now tell me, what struck you most about Kelly’s interview? What would you most like to learn from a workshop with her? Share your responses below.

xo, Melissa <3

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

Creating White Space

What’s a Passion Pluralite to do?

Major upping of peacefulness quotient!

The Persistence of Resistance

Playing Around Online

Free Tele-Party!

Commitment 1: The Great Bedtime Experiment

Unexpected Results: Increased Stress!

Anticipated Results: Better Prioritizing!

Anticipated Results: Melissa Pushes the Limits!

Other results: No Cures, but Improved Quality of Life Nonetheless

The Upshot

Commitment 2: Daily Clutter-Busting

What helped?

ClutterBusters was born.

What’s up for February?

Inspiring Subscriber: Kelly Hevel

Would You Like Some Cookies?