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Why Sucking At Meditation Rocks

Image: You mean sucking at meditation is a GOOD thing? Hmmm...

From the archives! I talk about meditation a LOT, so it seemed like this post, originally published on August 2, 2012, was due for re-publication. In Your Big, Bold, Creative Life Academy meditation comes up in almost every class, because it is just such an astonishingly powerful tool to help lean into fear, avoid getting sucked into distractions, practice self-compassion, and so much more! I hope I inspire you to try it yourself, if you aren’t already a meditator. ~Melissa

I am a meditation moron.

I can’t [Read more…]

Depression, Mindfulness, & Creative Productivity

Self-Awareness + Self-Compassion = the Key to Everything Good - calligraphy art by Melissa DinwiddieOf the two of us, MB is definitely the one with the more “even keel.” Compared to him, my moods are rather like a roller-coaster: high highs, low lows, and a lot of swerving in between.

That said, I’m rarely what I would call depressed.

I might feel down for a short time, but the life-sucks-and-I-don’t-want-to-do-anything-but-read-novels-in-bed-and-the-idea-of-dealing-with-existing-utterly-exhausts-me-and-I’d-like-to-just-disappear kind of depression thankfully doesn’t happen very often.

So I was rather surprised when I felt just that the other day.

My mood had been on a bit of a down trend for a few days, and then I woke up and felt, well, pretty miserable. The temptation was very strong to wallow in the feeling, pull the covers over my head, and shut out the world. But I resisted that temptation.

Instead, I got mindful.

As I like to say, self-awareness + self-compassion = the key to everything good (click to tweet this!), and so I consciously practiced some of both.

Instead of being driven by my depressed feelings, I took a metaphorical step back, and noticed them.

“Hunh,” thought I, “I notice feelings of depression. How fascinating.”

I acknowledged that this kind of feeling was rare for me, and wondered what might be causing it. When I remembered that my period was drawing nigh, I had an explanation that made sense. I don’t normally exhibit PMS symptoms, but very occasionally I have noticed an unusually down mood before my period.

Having an explanation didn’t change my emotional state — I still felt lousy — but it lifted some of the fear that had been creeping in, that I might (egad) get stuck this way.

The biggest thing this mindfulness approach did, though, was to create a separation between me and my emotional state.

Instead of just sitting in the depression, a part of me was able to step outside of it and just notice it. I still felt depressed, but mindfulness gave me some breathing room and a chance to choose my response to the feeling, rather than just sinking into it.

One possible response — and definitely the most appealing one at the moment — was to just spend the day in bed. But in the space opened up by mindfulness, I was able to instead ask myself if that was what I really wanted to do. Would spending the day in bed, reading novels and sleeping, make me feel better or happier at the end of the day?

Unlikely. What makes me happiest (as someone with Achiever as my #2 Strengthsfinder strength) is a sense of accomplishment. So spending the day in bed would have a much higher chance of making me feel more depressed, rather than less, at the end of the day.

So I drew up a list of all the stuff I really wanted to get done, and I asked myself which were the THREE things on that list that I’d feel most pleased to have checked off by the time I went to bed, and most annoyed to have NOT checked off.

Then I pulled myself out of bed, still depressed, and got on with tackling those three things.

Was I magically un-depressed at the end of the day? No, I still felt pretty lousy. But I also had a sense of accomplishment, despite the depression. And I was able to see that the feeling was very likely transitory. It did not define me.

This is the “magic” of self-awareness.

Epiloque: Serendipity

The Universe acts in mysterious ways. The day that I started to write about this experience, I happened to tune into my local radio station right when they were airing a live interview from months back with Jon Kabat-Zinn, the originator of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, or MBSR.

He was being interviewed by Kelly McGonigal, author of The Willpower Instinct, and teacher of The Science of Willpower, a Stanford Continuing Studies course which I’m enrolled in right now.

And it just so happens that I’m running a Willpower Instinct reading circle inside the Creative Ignition Club, starting on Thursday! (There’s still time to join in.)

I’ve never studied MBSR, I’d never even heard of it, but I resonated with Kabat-Zinn immediately. What he and McGonigal were discussing was exactly what I had been practicing the day before, when I was so depressed!

We don’t reduce stress (or depression, or any emotional state) by resisting it, or trying to stuff it away, but rather by noticing it and allowing it to be.

Mindfulness, it turns out, is also a powerful willpower booster. When we can act mindfully, we’re less likely to be driven by unconscious impulse.

The impulses don’t go away (I still want a cookie, I still want to lie in bed instead of getting up and getting on with my task list, I still feel depressed, etc.), but we’re better able to access that part of our brain that is in charge of getting us to do the “harder thing,” the thing we really want in the long run.

Hence my ability to get out of bed, even on a highly depressed day, and get stuff done.

The first piece of homework McGonigal gave us in The Science of Willpower class was to meditate five minutes a day* — one of the best ways on the planet to not only practice mindfulness, but to strengthen your willpower throughout the rest of your day.

(Given that I’ve been meditating daily since last April, ten to fifteen minutes every morning, my homework was kind of a breeze. :))

I can only wonder if I’d have been able to respond with such self-awareness to waking up depressed a year ago, before I started meditating.

Of course I’ll never know, but what I do know is that the lessons I’ve learned from The Willpower Instinct have proven hugely helpful. I’m excited to be going over this material again, little by little, over a period of several weeks, both in class with McGonigal, and in my reading circle inside the Creative Ignition Club. The book was a quick read, but there’s just too much good stuff to absorb in a weekend!

I’ll let you know how it goes.

xo, Melissa <3
*That, or get regular, consistent (read: more) sleep. Also a powerful willpower booster.

NOTE: This post is in no way intended to give the message that mindfulness is a cure-all for clinical depression! I was not clinically depressed, and I’m certainly not a medical professional. Simply sharing my own experience.

Still time…

Creative Ignition Club - where big-hearted creatives come to spark each other upWant to learn tools for making it easier to leap past distractions and get to your creative thing? Join the Creative Ignition Club and you can be part of our Willpower Instinct reading circle. Click here for all the details. The cart closes after Wednesday, FYI, so if you want to join in, now’s the time.

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

Are Your Ready to Play Big? An Interview with Tara Mohr

Note: Scroll down to read about how you can get a 4-pack of one-on-one coachsulting with me for FREE!

As I wrote in my last post, one of my most impactful experiences this year was Tara Mohr’s Playing Big program (aff*). I had the opportunity to interview Tara recently — click on the video above to be a fly on the wall in our recent conversation. Some highlights include:

  • What led Tara to create the Playing Big program (hint: you might recognize yourself here)
  • My three biggest takeaways from Playing Big and Tara’s thoughts on each (hint: Inner Critic (Gremlin); praise as poison; the importance of sharing our stories)
  • How Tara is playing big in her own life these days (hint: part of it involves my very first creative passion!)

I absolutely loved Playing Big, highly recommend it for any woman who wants to play bigger in her life (read my review of the program here) and am delighted to have the opportunity as an alum to participate again this session! Perhaps I’ll see you there.
xo, Melissa <3

* BONUS! I’m proud to be an affiliate for Playing Big, and all the links on my site are affiliate links. This means if you click through and buy, I’ll earn a commission.

Because I want to see you get the most out of Playing Big, if you do decide to take the program, and you purchase your spot through my affiliate link, I’ll give you a package of 4 one-hour coachsulting sessions, to work with me one-on-one (normally $580). We can schedule our sessions together in any way that works for you during the 6 months of Playing Big (my schedule permitting too, of course! ;)).

If you’re interested in the course and don’t want to send a commission my way, just don’t use one of my links. I’ll never know the difference. 😉

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

Review: Playing Big & TeachNow

I’ve taken a number of online courses this year, but two in particular stand out: Playing Big and TeachNow. Both are opening up to new participants again, so it seemed timely to share a review.

I should note that I’m very proud to be an affiliate for both of these programs (so yes, that means if you click one of the links here and end up buying, I’ll earn a commission). I’m signed up as an affiliate for all kinds of things, from web hosting to WordPress themes to online courses, but affiliate or not, I’m very choosy about what I actually write about here on the blog, or in my newsletter.

Whether it’s my favorite new music artist, my favorite novelist, an online course, or anything else, unless I love it, I’m not gonna rave about it. And if I do love it, I’m gonna shout it from the rooftops, whether it earns me any money or not!

So consider this a shout from the rooftops!

But as you’ll see, I’ve shared the things I’m not as happy with, too. Read on…

TeachNow Review

First: time-sensitive notice! Jen & Michele are offering a FREE kick-off to TeachNow that you don’t want to miss, and it’s happening TOMORROW, September 19! It’s called The Bottom Line of Teaching: More Contribution, Income, and Evolution. Click here to sign up for this free class!

TeachNow! ignite your teaching.I’ve taught workshops all over the country, and if there’s one thing I can say about myself with confidence, it’s that I’m a good teacher. But one thing any good teacher will tell you is that they can always get better!

Since teaching is a big part of what I do — whether it’s in the form of a class, a tutorial for a coachsulting client, or a blog post — it was a natural for me to sign up for Jennifer Louden and Michele Lisenbury-Christensen’s TeachNow program.

What you get

TeachNow comes in two versions: a “self-study” option and the “full course,” which as far as I can tell is identical to the self-study version, with the addition of live calls with Jennifer and Michele every month or so, and more recorded interviews with master teachers. UPDATE 9/22/12: I just signed up for the full course (yep, I loved it so much, I signed up for TeachNow again!), and it is in fact quite different from the self-study option:

The full course is on the Ruzuku platform, which has the added benefit of online community interaction, and the content is “drip-fed” over the course of 10 weeks. There are also 5 live calls with Michele and Jennifer, and an amazing 45 master teacher interviews (one of my absolute favorite parts of TeachNow — so inspiring!) Plus several yummy bonuses, to boot. Click here to read more.

Whichever option you choose, the bulk of the course resides on the Ruzuku platform, [UPDATE 9/22/12: For this session, only the full course is on Ruzuku; the self-study option is on a separate website] which handily organizes the content on your personal front page so you can see at a glance which “assignments” you’ve completed, and which are still yet to be done.

My TeachNow home page on Ruzuku
My TeachNow home page on Ruzuku

To the right you can see a screenshot of the top section of my personal TeachNow home page. The darkened dots are assignments I’ve completed; the hollow dots are assignments I haven’t gotten to yet.

There is a LOT of content in this course. Jennifer and Michele have assembled a wealth of interviews with master teachers (I love these!), plus archived recordings of previous TeachNow calls, plus homework invitations and prompts of all kinds to move you forward.

And that doesn’t even touch on the content that is continually being added as TeachNow members contribute their voices to the “conversation” inside Ruzuku.

Yep, there’s a lot of stuff!

Whether you want to bone up on the nuts and bolts of teaching, or how to best care for yourself while you’re giving of yourself to your students, or how to promote and fill your classes, you’ll find gems inside TeachNow.

The downside of a lot of stuff and self-paced programming

You can see from my screenshot that I have a lot of assignments still to get to, and that brings me to one of my few complaints about the course: its self-paced nature.

Not that self-paced is, in itself, a bad thing! I love that I can complete the TeachNow modules on my own time. This is great! Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have signed up for TeachNow when I did if it hadn’t been self-paced, since I already had a lot on my plate. But with a full year to complete the course, I figured I could justify signing up, because I could (ahem) pace myself.

However, I also know that for me, personally, deadlines are magical things. With a supremely busy schedule, the sad truth is that if something doesn’t have a deadline, it often doesn’t get done in my world. And as a year-long membership, TeachNow really has only one deadline: when my membership expires at the end of my term. This means it’s up to me to create my own deadlines for this course. (See update note below.)

So far I haven’t been very consistent about that (my personal preference would be some kind of “drip-feeding,” that delivers content periodically, or even just a suggested schedule delivered regularly via email, with links to the recommended content). However, I’m using TeachNow as a way to strengthen my scheduling muscles, and as my January end-point quickly approaches, I’m motivated to get much better at that! 🙂

If you choose to do TeachNow, I recommend creating a regular time slot on your weekly calendar to interact with the course. Then stick with it. That’s what I’m doing after I get back from Istanbul.

UPDATE 9/22/12: The full course is actually delivered bit by bit, over 10 weeks. This is one of the reasons I decided to sign up for TeachNow again — to take advantage of the modular delivery, AND the bi-weekly calls with Michele and Jennifer!

This brings me to my only other complaint about TeachNow…

My frustration with Ruzuku’s “forum”

Overall, I think Ruzuku is an awesome platform for delivering course content. (I’ve also met some of the people behind it — one of whom was in one of my Creative Ignition Circles — and they are totally cool.) My one big frustration as a user is that there’s no real central forum where course participants can interact. Comments are spread out all over the site, attached to individual pages, which makes carrying on an ongoing conversation really challenging.

The Ruzuku folks have made efforts at improving this, and there is now an Open Discussion page, which posts the first few lines of each new comment in reverse chronological order (newest comments first), alongside the poster’s avatar. It’s better than nothing, but there’s still no way to see, at a glance, what conversations are happening, and where you might like to join in.

It’s too bad, because the people inside TeachNow are smart, creative and interesting, and it would be nice to have an easier way to interact. You may find it less frustrating, but for me, I feel like I have to jump through too many hoops to engage in the way I’d like. Personally, I’d prefer a traditional forum.

(I’ve contemplated using Ruzuku for my own online courses, but community engagement is a big priority for me, and until Ruzuku makes this easier, I’m sticking with hosting my courses myself [not for the faint of heart!] However, if you’re looking for an easy way to get your own course content online and you don’t need a forum, I don’t think you can beat Ruzuku!)

To sum up:

What I like:

  • the semi-regular phone calls with Jennifer and Michele (I love connecting in real time, even if I don’t “raise my hand.”
  • the master teacher interviews (and J & M keep adding more!)
  • the depth and breadth of content
  • the worksheets, homework invitations and readings Jennifer and Michele have assembled — top notch!
  • Ruzuku’s visual index page, which allows you to check off each item as you complete it
  • the people inside — brilliant and loving!

What I don’t like:

  • the lack of an easy way to interact with other participants (you can leave comments, but there’s no real forum)
  • the lack of structure in how the content is delivered (with the exception of the scheduled live calls in the full course option, TeachNow is totally self-paced) (UPDATE 9/22/12: I expect this issue to be largely resolved with the full version of this next session of the course, which is delivered bit by bit over a 10-week period.)

The upshot:

If you’re at all interested in sharing what you know, becoming more confident and grounded as a teacher, I highly recommend TeachNow. Five stars!

UPDATE 9/22/12: I’m so impressed with TeachNow, and truly believe it will help you succeed in your dreams to teach, so I’m offering a 1-hour coachsulting session with me if you sign up for the full version of the course via my affiliate link, or a 1/2-hour coachsulting session with me if you sign up for the self-study version via my affiliate link.

—

Playing Big Review

Playing Big - Tara Sophia Mohr's program for women who want to play biggerOne of the most impactful experiences I’ve had this year was participating in Tara Mohr’s 6-month Playing Big program for women. Tara has crafted a 6-month women’s leadership and professional development journey that any woman can benefit from, regardless of where you’re longing to play bigger in your life.

Among other things, the transformations I experienced as a result of Playing Big helped me appreciate my true value enough to finally make the leap to run my online program for creative women, Time to Glow.

This is no small thing!

Still, I have to admit that the decision to invest in this course back in January was not without some nail-biting on my part. It’s not cheap! God knows I’ve spent a lot of money on things that I regretted — was I going to have buyer’s remorse after clicking that “Add to Cart” button?

I needn’t have worried. As I said in a recent interview with Tara (which I’ll be posting here soon), scarcely a week goes by in which I don’t reference Tara or something I learned in Playing Big, either in a one-on-one coachsulting session, or while teaching a class, or in my Creative Ignition Club clubhouse. That’s how much I got out of this program.

What you get:

Playing Big is much more of a live experience than TeachNow, with a 90-minute group call with Tara every other week for 6 months. Prior to each call, Tara also sends a link to a page of resources, including a reading or worksheet for that module, links to relevant blog posts and books, and several additional guest interviews to watch and/or listen to.

Most of my previous experiences with online courses had a weekly call, and I wasn’t sure how this every-other-week schedule was going to work, but I found it to be the perfect interval to process the material.

By “process,” I don’t mean reading or listening to the material; there was never so much that I felt overwhelmed by it. I mean that 2 weeks was the ideal interval to allow me to absorb the concepts and start to apply them in my life.

Unlike some intensive “boot camp” courses I’ve taken, Playing Big is the kind of program that fosters deep transformation over time. 

In addition to the calls and the resource pages, there’s a private Facebook group to engage with other participants, and I found this was where a lot of internal shifts really blossomed. There’s simply nothing like sharing my own experiences, and reading about other people’s, to move me forward! (Which is precisely why I wish TeachNow had a more user-friendly forum.)

That said, I wasn’t totally thrilled with Facebook as a forum, either.

The downside of Facebook as a forum

Facebook is certainly convenient. A lot of people log in daily anyway (hourly, anyone?) And I love how visual it is, and how easy to share content.

It can be a bit… distracting, though, it being so easy to click over to see what’s up in the 27 zillion other groups I belong to, or my comment stream, or…

In addition, for a group of more than 40 or 50 people, Facebook gets a bit unwieldy. Messages fly back and forth at such a rapid-fire pace that it’s easy to miss something as it gets pushed down the stream. There’s no easy way to search for posts, no index, as in a traditional forum, which would once again be my preference.

In an attempt to avoid Overgrown-Facebook-Group-Syndrome, for my session of Playing Big, Tara divided us into three smaller groups. This kept the flow of posts manageable, and made my group easier to interact with.

On the other hand, it also segregated me from all of the other amazing women in Playing Big! I would hear them on the calls, and wish I could interact with them, but I didn’t have access to their Facebook groups, so that made it more challenging. (There was a roster of everyone in the program, however, so it was possible to contact people directly. Just one more hoop to jump through, and sometimes, much as I hate to admit it, one hoop is enough to keep me from doing something.)

Tara is trying out keeping everyone together in one Facebook group for the upcoming Playing Big session (including us “alums” — I am thrilled that I’ll be able to participate in the upcoming version of Playing Big, too, so you’ll see me inside if you sign up). It will be interesting to see how that works.

To sum up:

What I like:

  • the transformative course content
  • the bi-weekly pacing
  • the people inside — diverse, brilliant and loving!

What I don’t like:

  • Facebook as a forum

The upshot:

Despite my frustrations with Facebook, I really cannot recommend Playing Big more highly. Five stars!

In fact, I believe so strongly in this program, if you decide it’s for you and sign up via my affiliate link, I’ll give you a package of 4 one-hour coachsulting sessions, to be scheduled anytime that works for both of us during the 6 months of Playing Big. (That’s a $580 value.)

Which to choose?

With two 5-star reviews, it just begs the question, doesn’t it? If both of these courses sound perfect for you, how to choose between them?

Well, if you’re like me (remember, I’m a self-confessed over-committer!), you’ll sign up for both.

If money is an object, TeachNow ($200-400 (?)) is significantly less expensive than Playing Big ($874 or $164/mo).

If sheer volume of content is your aim, TeachNow has it (but it’s also got inspiration and transformation).

If you’re looking for regular, live interaction (over the phone), Playing Big has it (though the full version of TeachNow also includes monthly calls with Michele and Jennifer!).

If you’re specifically interested in teaching, go with TeachNow. You won’t regret it. But if you’ve got a niggling feeling that you’re just not playing as big as you’d like in your life and would like to change that, Playing Big‘s your course.

Either way, you really can’t go wrong. These three powerful women have created two rock-solid courses that I would sign up for again in a heartbeat

If you decide to do either of these courses, let me know! I’d love to hear about your experience!
xo, Melissa <3
PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

Jess Greene from Seek Your Course and the Jumpstart Creativity Tour

[s3mv]JessGreene5-8-12.m4v,320,240,false,false[/s3mv]

One of the things anyone who wants to live a creative life needs is awesome role models. When we see someone else doing something cool, it’s proof that such things can be done. And when our own dreams are a little (or maybe a lot) scary, knowing that others have gone someplace similar (or if not similar, perhaps as scary) before us can make the path a whole lot clearer.

Today I want to share with you a role model who is living a creative life, and whose work I find personally inspiring: Jess Greene.

Jess is the founder of, Seek Your Course, a fantastic website you really need to know about if you don’t already. Looking for creative learning opportunities, online courses, and in-person workshops and retreats? Jess’s goal is to get every offering of this ilk from the far reaches of the internet into one central location (ie, the Seek Your Course website) where those who are looking for them can easily find them. (Some people have found my upcoming creativity workshop adventure vacation in Istanbul on Seek Your Course, so it appears to be working. :))

But that’s not all that Jess is up to. Next month she embarks on a 10,000 mile driving tour to jumpstart the creativity of North America — the aptly named Jumpstart Creativity Tour. She’ll be stopping in 50 cities with a passel of art and craft supplies in her Mobile Creativity Unit (aka her car), and setting up events at every stop for anyone who wants to play with paint, write some prose, or experiment with mixed media. (I’m super-excited that she’s coming to San Francisco and Berkeley, both within driving distance of me, and am crossing my fingers she lands in the SF Bay Area when I’m around to participate!)

Writes Jess:

We believe that the creative community has the power to create change in the world just as it did in my life and in countless other lives. The Jumpstart Creativity Tour is the beginning of the ways that Seek Your Course is getting the message out and making creative engagement a common modern experience.

Pretty freakin’ cool, huh?

I had the pleasure of interviewing Jess the other day, and am delighted to share our conversation with you here at the top of this post. (Yes, I know the video is tiny. And fuzzy. My getting-long-in-the-tooth iMac and Call Recorder are not playing nice. Anyone want to buy me a new Mac?)

When you’re done watching our interview, check out Jess’s adorable promo video for the tour:

Then hop over to the Jumpstart Creativity Tour Kickstarter page and help Jess get this show on the road! (I just donated. Every little bit helps. :))

Jess was called to create Seek Your Course and take a 10,000 mile road trip. What creative adventure — large or tiny — are you being called to take?

xo, Melissa <3

Hey girlfriends! It’s time to stop just dreaming about living a creative life and start DOING it! Join me in Time to Glow, a 4-month transformational journey for women who are ready to answer the call, tame the gremlins, and actually live the creative life of your dreams. Click here for details about the program, and to sign up for a free Q&A info session on Thursday, May 17.

PS — Pssst! Know someone who might benefit from seeing this today? Pass it on!

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